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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting sick of investing in threads

61 replies

incognitomum · 27/12/2019 08:45

I don't know if it's the time of year but there's been an influx of threads removed. More than I can remember.

I wish there was an emblem next to OP name saying if they're a new poster then I might not care. I have always tried to empathise but am starting to doubt a lot in advance.

OP posts:
katewhinesalot · 27/12/2019 10:00

Now I want to read the jewellery thread...

janaus50s · 27/12/2019 10:00

Yes, was concerned about the jewellery order poster

catsmother · 27/12/2019 10:03

I don't think I 'invest' per se. I very rarely return quickly to even those threads I've commented upon.... instead, I probably check my 'watched' list every week or so when I remember for a catch up.

However, I DO agree it's somewhat annoying when you've spent maybe up to 20 minutes or more of your time writing a considered response only to find the thread's disappeared. I accept that's always the risk you take and of course the ultimate moral is that you don't commit that time unless you're happy to lose it but when you've provided advice or information which could be potentially helpful or reassuring to others in a similar situation it does always feel to me that removing threads is a bit of a sledgehammer and nut situation.

I don't see why - in the case of non genuine OPs - the MN powers that be can't place a suitable warning on the thread (and obviously ban the OP), and leave it standing when the general gist and direction is proving useful to genuine MNers struggling with the same issues.

Nousernameforme · 27/12/2019 10:04

I scroll for a bit down the thread if op hasn't bothered replying i don't read it, or if they have but its like one short sentence every 2 pages then it's someone just trying to spin the story a bit more and keep people hooked

lowlandLucky · 27/12/2019 10:06

I want jewlto know what he said about the jewelry

gottastopeatingchocolate · 27/12/2019 10:09

I was thinking that there are a lot of deleted threads, too.

I wouldn't say I am invested, but when somehting is posted that is near to home for me, I try to offer advice, and I do feel duped if the thread gets pulled as they are "looking behind the scenes".

The recent one with the woman with the seriously ill husband got me!

Oblomov20 · 27/12/2019 10:10

I too get over invested. I need to work on that.

I also wanted to know what happened to the jewellery thread.

Catsandchardonnay · 27/12/2019 10:12

What happened in the jewellery thread? I only saw the beginning of it. What did he tell her?

gothefcktosleep · 27/12/2019 10:15

Other forums have a similar function, where you can see a joined by date and how many posts the user has made... even with the name change function that should be possible to show how long someone has been on MN. Would make sense to implement.

Scarsthelot · 27/12/2019 10:16

Pretty sure the jewelry thread was talr based on love actually. Creative writing exercise?

Skiptheskip · 27/12/2019 10:22

A lot of threads on here are so obviously trolls that I'm surprised when I see that people have been so gullible and have posted serious replies Grin

I reckon about 70-80% of threads on here are bullshit.

YoungHun · 27/12/2019 10:37

Although it's also very annoying when you start a genuine thread and are accused of trolling!

Under another name I started a "real time" thread about a situation that was happening to me.

With real time updates. I spent the day crying and every time I posted it was straight from the heart. It was exceedingly annoying to be called a troll! Especially if the lazy fuckers had searched my username at the time, they'd have seen I had 10 years worth of posting!

But the online support was amazing. I wouldn't have got through that period without MN support.

But I was "lucky" and not a newbie asking for help, I was an old thick skinned poster who just told any of the idiots to fuck off.

So I always give the benefit of the doubt. Even if it it a sad lonely troll, someone may find the post resonates with them and use the advice and guidance posted there.

I personally don't think they should delete the posts. Just alert in title it's a troll.

DeeZastris · 27/12/2019 10:37

The jewellery one was laughable.

BIWI · 27/12/2019 10:49

Advanced Search is an invaluable tool! Always worth checking a poster out (although constant name-changing does mean posters often come up as a first time poster)

ouch321 · 27/12/2019 11:05

Jewellery one confirmed as genuine.
Was pulled as OP identified in real life apparently.

Scarsthelot · 27/12/2019 11:19

Mn confirmed genuine?

That's odd, they dont really do that. You usually say as far as they can see it is, bit womr guarantee it.

Soon2BeMumof3 · 27/12/2019 11:24

Mumsnet should have a function that shows when each poster joined, so it's easier to spot trolls from the beginning.

But they'll never do it because the soap opera threads bring traffic to the site.

NewName73 · 27/12/2019 11:26

After 10 years on MN I reckon I'm quite good at spotting the trolls...

gamerwidow · 27/12/2019 11:29

I think it’s always best to see these forums as a way to pass the time and nothing more. I try to never be nasty but I don’t usually care enough about any of the posts to be invested. If I do find myself caring too much or getting annoyed I hide the thread from myself.

Teateaandmoretea · 27/12/2019 11:33

My opinion is that there is a bit of an obsession it's pulling threads. As long as it's not harmful/ offensive/ begging I don't see the issue, just leave them. Just because I'm a LT poster doesn't mean everything I post is true. Tbh I sometimes deliberately change minor details in case someone recognises me.

BrickTop999 · 27/12/2019 11:34

I agree OP ! Im not one whose on mumsnet a lot ( as I have a life and friends as PP’s have ripped into you about ) but now and again I read a thread and all the replies then suddenly its like the last few pages of a book have been ripped out as its gone or the OP doesnt return.

fluffygal · 27/12/2019 11:35

That's why I don't bother replying to much, I just read it all as stories like the daily mail as most of it is probably made up!

Wonkybanana · 27/12/2019 12:41

Some of the deletions are confusing. Fair enough if MNHQ have had a look and they've decided it's a troll/PBP. But I don't see why a troll thread would be deleted at the OP's request for being 'too outing'.

If it's troll you would have thought it would stay as (a) they would be enjoying the drama they'd created and (b) it can hardly be outing if it isn't true.

NewName73 · 27/12/2019 14:38

What annoys me is when MN posts a message "We're taking this thread down while we look behind the scenes"... and then you never hear any more.

was it or wasn't it a troll?

they never seem to come back ...

Original poster
incognitomum · 27/12/2019 14:40

Thing is I have a busy work and social life. You think I'd be less fussed. Grin

OP posts:
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