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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No Christmas gift for baby

82 replies

piyrwadgjl · 26/12/2019 21:47

It was my baby’s first Christmas and my in-laws didn’t give her any gift, which I found strange as they always send gifts to everyone in the family. Their reason was that they were disorganised and will send the baby something after Christmas. AIBU for feeling a bit hurt by this? I have a feeling it’s because we chose to spend Christmas with my family so my in-laws just didn’t bother. I know gifts shouldn’t be expected, I just though even a card or something for their first grandchild would be the norm? Or AIBU in feeling that this is a little strange?

OP posts:
PrtScn · 26/12/2019 22:24

We didn’t get our baby anything for his first Christmas and told family not to bother, as he was only 3 months old. This Christmas we didn’t get him anything either as he doesn’t know any better and he got presents from family (my living room is overflowing with plastic tat).

TigerOnATrain · 26/12/2019 22:34

@piyrwadgjl YANBU. I would be hurt too.

We have a neighbour who has an 8 month old baby, and her Bro and SIL bought her (the baby) nothing, and her aunt and uncle and 2 cousins didn't either.

We did though, and so did several other neighbours.

She is really pissed off and offended, and said they can fuck off next Christmas, because they are not getting anything off her. Not even a card.

puds11 · 26/12/2019 22:35

Mine is the same age. I didn’t get her a gift and told other people not too. Utterly pointless.

daisypond · 26/12/2019 22:38

It’s odd to get a baby of that age a present.

windycuntryside · 26/12/2019 22:39

Baby gifts are not really for baby but a show of how much the parents are liked.

Singlenotsingle · 26/12/2019 22:42

Buying presents is a faff. Trying to choose something suitable, paying for it, wrapping it and posting it. And the baby won't even know.

cabbageking · 26/12/2019 22:42

I never buy a gift for a baby.

I would rather buy a useful gift when they are older.

it is a waste in my view. I don't believe I am alone in this?

Karenisbaren · 26/12/2019 22:45

I mean in all fairness its not like baby is going to remeber anyway.

Havaina · 26/12/2019 22:55

I hate that for some caring can only be expressed through presents. I think it's grabby.

Fortheloveofdogs20 · 26/12/2019 22:57

That's not very nice 😐 even a teddy or clothes would have been nice

doodoodoodoodoolittlelulu · 26/12/2019 23:00

I bought two little gifts for my niece, she's 11 days old. I was aware of my sisters due date, bought and wrapped before baby was born. It's akin to recognising the baby as part of the family.

Fortheloveofdogs20 · 26/12/2019 23:01

Exactly 🤞

SleepingStandingUp · 26/12/2019 23:04

It’s odd to get a baby of that age a present so if you buy for the whole family at what age do you buy for the child? My 4 yo wouldn't specifically know if Aunty Mary did or didn't buy a present, so is it still weird to do so? Maybe by 6? Once they're old enough to compare at school?

My DTwins were 12 days old on Christmas Day, thry got a few bits of clothes, baby toys and cash. It isn't about being grabby and demanding expensive gifts. It's about treating then all equally

Yesterdayallmyfish · 26/12/2019 23:10

I didn't get my own babies anything for their first Christmases. They were babies. They didn't care.

Gillian1980 · 26/12/2019 23:13

Ds is 6 months and we only got him one small toy as he is oblivious regarding Christmas.

He was given money and some curtains for his room by grandparents... that’s it!

DD definitely got more for her first Christmas, when she was 4 months. It may be a pfb thing....

Audreyhelp · 26/12/2019 23:13

When I had my grandchildren I was so excited to buy him lots of gifts.
I got teddies toys and outfits I feel she is really odd not to buy anything .

Josette77 · 26/12/2019 23:15

They forgot and said they'd send one. I don't see the issue?

CherryPavlova · 26/12/2019 23:17

A non issue.

TheClausSeason · 26/12/2019 23:17

Six months old? Your baby has no clue whether they got a present on Christmas Day or not. You're being very precious IMO and a tad grabby

thistimelastweek · 26/12/2019 23:18

Of course the baby doesn't care.
But as a granny I sure cared. No way on earth would I have not bought that child a gift. Probably something practical and something playful. But there would have been a gift

notangelinajolie · 26/12/2019 23:21

They said they forgot and will get something later - I really don't see the problem here. An excited 6 year old with nothing under the tree would be upset - a 6 month old baby isn't going to notice either way.

2Rebecca · 26/12/2019 23:23

Agree babies don't need anything but on the other hand I can't imagine not getting a grandchild a Christmas present if I have grandkids. Depends how many grandchildren they have though. I can imagine if half a dozen grandchildren and some abroad you never see it's easier to forget/ decide it doesn't matter, plus if they are coming to visit soon they maybe decided to bring the present as baby won't know the difference.

TheClausSeason · 26/12/2019 23:24

But as a granny I sure cared. No way on earth would I have not bought that child a gift.

See, I don't equate caring with stuff. There are more ways to show you care than providing random stuff at Christmas- absence of gifts doesn't mean absence of care to my mind.

2Rebecca · 26/12/2019 23:25

Just seen that it's their first grandchild. That does seem odder but if they're otherwise caring I'd ignore it.

Audreyhelp · 26/12/2019 23:25

The baby won’t care but to say they forgot is hurtful,
Shows a reall lack of thought, I always got Xmas presents for the baby even when my daughter-in-law and daughter were pregnant at Christmas.