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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL is taking over!

87 replies

StressHead25 · 26/12/2019 19:31

Me and DP have only been together a few months and I already feel like I'm going crazy with his mum. I've got two kids from a previous who stay with their dad due to my health issues and MIL appeared to be accepting of this at first.

Now all I get is barbed comments about how DP has to support me, (I'm on an apprenticeship and have another 6 months to go), about how shes surprised I'm allowed to do payments at work because in her eyes all apprentices are fuck ups (even though her own husband was an apprentice!), she bullied DP into buying a house in a town that has no public transport links so that he is close to her, and when hes said he wants to renovate the house and rent somewhere temporarily with me while does the work she gets his sister to buy him a puppy for Christmas, despite knowing my DD is deathly allergic to dogs, and then tells him he is going to have to spend every night at hers so he can bond with the dog and that if I want any future with him I'll have to sell my cat.

Then the cherry on top of the cake came yesterday. I get xmas is fraught with tension but DS was rushed into hospital with pneumonia and put on a ventilator. She then kicked off as did his dad, because I wanted to spend Christmas Night at my house because its half the distance to the hospital than theirs. She goes to me oh it's always something with you isn't it? I don't see why you'd want to stay near DS when DP needs to be here to bond with his puppy. The puppy that DP told her he didn't even want because he doesn't see himself as being in the right place to get a pet until next year at the earliest, and he told her this before she got the dog.

And then I've been put on a pretty much vegan diet by my consultant for 3 months while they see whether theres issues with certain nutrient levels or if its MS I've got, and she spent all lunch time yesterday shoveling things like the creamiest mash onto my plate or ice cream on top of my dessert when I'd actually bought along my own vegan bits so she wouldn't have to go to any further expense.

I'm just sick of it all. I'm trying to better myself by doing this apprenticeship, I'm freaking out about the diagnosis that might be upcoming, and trying to sort somewhere for me and DP to rent by the end of the month, and all she does is order him to go round to the house.

DP has told her before when shes sat there on the phone slagging me off to high heaven that I can hear every word shes saying, and she just goes oh well I don't care if she hears! DP has told me to stop treating her like the enemy when I had a breakdown over how she told me DV doesn't exist even though I've spent a year of my life in a refuge in the past so I know damn well it does exist.

AIBU for not wanting to spend any time with her anymore?

OP posts:
JustACog · 26/12/2019 22:07

Time for a sharp exit.

This isn't going to improve with time

ProfessionalBoss · 26/12/2019 22:19

@StressHead25 I would definitely be asking who the specialists in multiple sclerosis are, have you had a lumbar puncture or mri yet? Or are they trying to rule everything else out before doing those tests? I always say MS doesn't end your life, it just changes it, BUT at the same time, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, especially when I consider how aggressive my MS has been.

Going back to the diet component, I do have friends who believe following the diet advice found in a book called "overcoming MS" helpful, ALONG WITH medication... It's based on the original thoughts that you could "cure" MS through diet alone without medication... spoiler alert there's NO cure! But if making lifestyle changes makes you feel better I'm all for it...

(you can usually get the book free from the oms website if you fancy reading it) xXx

ProfessionalBoss · 26/12/2019 22:22

@StressHead25

overcomingms.org/resources/overcoming-multiple-sclerosis-book

That's the link to the book offer, xXx

CodenameVillanelle · 26/12/2019 22:27

It's not about being unmarried it's about the fact that this is a boyfriend of a few months. Most people don't even know their boyfriend's mum's name at that stage.

Newernewist · 26/12/2019 22:29

Yeah I have MS and an MRI diagnosed me alongside some other tests - envoked potentials and a few other tests, no diet changes to diagnose.

Livelovebehappy · 26/12/2019 22:59

Agree with PPs. Your son is currently on a ventilator in hospital which suggests he is seriously ill and you are posting on MN to a bunch of strangers about how to deal with your ‘MIL’ of a few months? Absolutely bizarre!

CooCooCoo · 26/12/2019 23:08

Fuckinnnnnnnnn RUNNNNNNNN

You have got no hope in hell in this changing

Christmadtree · 26/12/2019 23:11

If any of this is true, I'll eat my hat Xmas Hmm

pegsworth · 27/12/2019 06:48

.

foodandwine89 · 27/12/2019 11:15

Run! Dump him and block him. This is all kinds of weird. Focus on you and your DS. Your child really doesn't need this level of craziness distracting their mum.

Gertrudesgarden · 27/12/2019 11:30

This is a man who will never, ever, put you first, OP. Or your kids. He's still attached to Mummy in an unhealthy way by what you say, and the only way you can solve this is to get the hell out. He's been quite clear where his priorities lie, he's not lied to you. Take the fucking hint and get on with meeting a man who genuinely cares about you x

MzHz · 27/12/2019 11:38

Bin him. This isn’t going to work

He can’t stand up to her, or his sister and you don’t need people this nasty in your life.

Get yourself and your kids awwwwwwaay from these people and be happy on your own without dogs, without people piling on food you can’t eat etc

You have a choice, take it. Be with good people.

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