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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the queen not visiting her DH in hospital...

97 replies

AlorMy · 25/12/2019 01:14

Is yet another indication that the royal family operate on strange (to the general public) emotional terms?

Would it not be standard that family would visit if you are unwell and in hospital?

And yet it appears that the Queen and family did not attend Prince Philip’s side.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 25/12/2019 09:01

He didn’t want them to visit, he never does. It’s just how they operate. We don’t visit family all day everyday if they are in hospital for minor stuff, it’s just how we are

beanaseireann · 25/12/2019 09:04

Countryescape
I agree with you.
I was shocked that not one family member was there to be with him when he was discharged.
Leaving hospital one feels a little shaky and vulnerable and he is 98 fgs.
I don't care about protocol or security, surely a child or grandchild should have been there. Not Andrew obviously.

BiteyShark · 25/12/2019 09:06

I don't care about protocol or security, surely a child or grandchild should have been there. Not Andrew obviously.

Even if he said he wanted to be on his own? Would you think you 'knew' better because he was old. I would be annoyed if someone overruled me thinking they knew better.

Mlou32 · 25/12/2019 09:07
  • She may very well have visited him and we just went privy to it.
  • A visit from the Queen may have been quite disruptive to the ward and the hospital in general so she thought it best to leave it for the sake of the other patients and staff.
  • She as probably in touch with him daily by phone.
  • He was only in 2/3 days and it was probably nothing major so is a visit really necessary, considering how much effort it would take and disruption it would cause?

Why does it bother you? Every family up and down the country muddles along in their own way, as does the royal family. Each to their own.

GreyGardens88 · 25/12/2019 09:09

Reminds me of when shortly after his car accident someone asked Princess Anne how he was doing and she said she didn't know, weird

Mrsjayy · 25/12/2019 09:10

He wasn't on his own he has personal staff who tbf he probably on better daily terms with than grandchildren and just because he is 98 doesn't mean he doesn't get a say.

mrsbyers · 25/12/2019 09:12

How on earth do you know she didn’t visit him ?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 25/12/2019 09:20

I’ve stayed in that hospital and it’s very quiet and quite small and tucked away. He might have enjoyed the peace and quiet before the rush of Christmas.

He may not want visitors as he might not like being seen as ill. If the Queen had delayed her trip to Sandringham then the media would have been polishing up their obituaries for him.

MrsWhites · 25/12/2019 09:21

Who are any of us to comment on anyone’s marriage - especially one that has been ongoing for 70+ years!

  1. He seems to enjoy peace and quiet in his old age
  2. Those suggesting that the queen visit discreetly - perhaps she did, surely the definition of a discreet visit is that we wouldn’t know!
  3. The queen visiting would turn into a massive security protocol and cause major disruption to a working hospital with patients other than the duke.
Radardodgingninga · 25/12/2019 09:22

A lot of my relations are in the same age bracket as QE11 and Prince Phillip and so are in and out of hospital often. It’s quite normal that they don’t visit each other, either because they are frail themselves or because they are set in their ways and don’t want their routines disrupted or because they find it distressing. My FIL particularly springs to mind. He was devoted to my MIL but didn’t visit her in hospital because he used to get so upset. The only time that he did visit was when she had her final stroke and the hospital said she wouldn’t last the night. Then he was with her until the end.

FatherRabulaConundrum · 25/12/2019 09:26

It's probably safe to say that if the Duke if Edinburgh wanted something to happen - family visits, a steadying arm to lean on as he left, Prince Andrew shot out of a cannon - it would have happened. So if HM wasn't there and the whole thing was low-key, that's how he wanted it, whether it chimes with what the general public deems 'normal' or not.

Xenia · 25/12/2019 09:27

Everyone is different. My mother for example did not want my children to visit when she was dying at home. She remembered being in a room full of relatives whilst her own granny died. I think she wanted them to remember her when she was well.

Also the Duke probably wants the Royal Christmas to continue as usual and I doubt he wanted a fuss made.

TSSDNCOP · 25/12/2019 09:27

Not all families go en masse to GP/hospital appointments. I cannot abide people fussing around me if I am sick or anxious. DH was in hospital recently and I didn’t visit once. Not because I don’t care or love him, because there was simply no need and forcing a sock person to make small talk doesn’t aid their recovery.

Lockshunkugel · 25/12/2019 09:32

The Queen and the royal family would have visited if he was seriously ill. Part of not visiting is letting the public know that the duke isn’t on his deathbed. He is well known to hate any fuss and he wasn’t left in a dirty NHS geriatric ward, with no access to food, water or clean bedding!

JoGose · 25/12/2019 09:42

How do you know they didn’t visit him

VestaTilley · 25/12/2019 10:20

Totally normal for the Queen not to want to make a bigger fuss. He wasn't really unwell and was due to leave, it was fine.

StellaRockafella · 25/12/2019 10:55

I was shocked that not one family member was there to be with him when he was discharged. Leaving hospital one feels a little shaky and vulnerable and he is 98 fgs

This made me laugh.

Why? It's not like he left on his own or had to take the bus home. He'd have been collected by chauffeur driven car and an equerry or some other member of staff who spends a lot of time with him. He'd not have been on his own at all. (If he was unsteady on his feet or feeling shaky, he'd have been wheeled to his car in a wheelchair.)

I imagine he'd not have wanted any of his family's day-to-day to be disrupted by a short stay in hospital.

The Royal Family do things differently to quite a lot of us possibly because they live their lives differently to a lot of us, have staff to assist them and are able to do exactly as they please and not have to rely on each other.

ivykaty44 · 25/12/2019 15:06

I thought it was nice that Andrew went to church early today, so he could go back & keep his dad company whilst everyone else went to the later service.

speakout · 25/12/2019 15:13

I thought it was nice that Andrew went to church early today, so he could go back & keep his dad company whilst everyone else went to the later service.
Lol

Redcrayons · 25/12/2019 15:15

It's a bit odd under normal circumstances but they're hardly normal. Is she turned up it would turn it into A Big Deal.

LoveNote · 25/12/2019 15:21

We don’t actually know WHO did or didn’t visit. Not everything is reported and a lot goes unseen.

NumbersStation · 25/12/2019 15:25

Ach they can do what they like - they’ve earned that right. I wouldn’t want fussing over and I’m guessing he isn’t that taken by fuss either.

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