Husband's gift is too much

[JimmyJam2019]

There is no way to explain this without sounding ungrateful but I shall try.
For my milestone birthday hubby took me away to a posh hotel for a meal and night away. My parents looked after the kids all great. Assumed this was my gift and was more than happy with that.
While away he presented me with a new watch, a very nice fancy watch that cost too much and I certainly can't wear day to day.
I'm currently on mat leave and also have a toddler, I go out once a month at best with mum friends to the local pub. Nowhere you wear such a thing.
The amount he spent on it would go a long way to refurbing our bathroom or sorting out our garden, which I'd probably get more use out of.
Aibu?

Just popping on (like many others) to say I have a nice watch (bought via insurance when all my sentimental jewellery from other significant birthdays was stolen). I wear it every day and love it.

But I did choose my watch. Do you like the style? If not perhaps ask to exchange.

I'd hate a nice watch, i would lose it in a drawer somewhere, never wear it

Don't understand people that put expensive items in a draw as they are 'too expensive' to wear everyday. Occasionally someone comments on my watch in a nice way but otherwise it's just a watch.

It doesn't matter whether it's £50 or £50,000 as the value is about enjoying it everyday and what it means in sentiment. The chance of something like a watch getting lost is very slim when it's worn everyday which is why it tends to not be expensive to put on house insurance. I have never yet has the misfortune to claim and I have worn my watch for many years.

I understand OP, I'd feel the same. I'd get absolutely no enjoyment out of a watch, expensive or not. But for me, a beautiful garden or a lovely new bathroom would be a joy everyday. If your DH knew this about you, then it's just a thoughtless gift like any other.

If it's a Rolex or similar then it's meant to be worn every day and is far more robust than other watches

I’ve got a very plain rolex, I wear it all the time and it brings me enormous pleasure. It will be passed to my youngest son when I am gone and I hope he will enjoy it for ever more

I don’t think YABU. My DH does similar actually - spends a lot of money on quite lavish but ultimately thoughtless gifts (usually bought on it after the 23rd), because he can’t be bothered to sit down and think. And of course you’re supposed to be really grateful for the gift because it was so expensive and you’re ‘lucky’, when actually you’d have been happier with a framed photo or something - but that would have required thought and pre-planning!

I think it depends on your finances and how much the watch actually cost. If you can afford it without missing out elsewhere, it’s not an issue. But it would be an issue if he irresponsibly over-splurged to the point that you actually can’t afford the house renovations that you want anymore.

It also depends on the watch itself, you describe it as “very nice” rather than you love it/it’s perfect/it’s exactly your taste etc - so do you not particularly like this watch much? Would you feel better about a different one?

I will never understand how present buying and giving works on Mumsnet.

According to the collective, all money is “family money” which generally seems to mean that men earn it (in 6 figure amounts ) and then it goes into a joint account to be used for family expenses. So how then do men buy their wives these extravagant gifts? Where does that money come from? If all money is truly family money, then effectively the OP is going without something else to buy herself a half share in something she doesn’t really want .

Pic of the watch or it didn't happen!!

Wear it and enjoy it. He was trying to please you and that is worth everything, I think.

Don't forget that many of the watches also increase in value.
Dh's watch has already increased in value by quite a lot in the years he's had it. He wears it daily.

My OH once surprised me with a second hand (still expensive) Cartier Tank watch after I said I'd always wanted one. I wear it every single day and never go anywhere posh.

Sod the bathroom - enjoy wearing your watch and his generosity.

TBF though another Christmas he bought me a second (also expensive) watch which I hardly wear because the clasp is difficult. He is bipolar and spends money without thinking ...

He wanted to give you a present, not the house. That's definitely a good thing, he still thinks of you like someone to treasure and spoil. Lots of men hear just see their wives as childcare.

YANBU I wouldn't be happy with a watch, but then dh knows that about me and would never buy me one. I'd buy him a watch and he'd be thrilled. It's not the gift as such, it's knowing what the other person wants.

That said, gift giving is a hit and miss thing, sometimes it's just perfect and sometimes it's completely wrong. As long as someone has tried I'd be thrilled, I'd also feel happy to talk to dh about it and tell him that I don't like the gift but that doesn't reflect on my feelings for him.

It’s hard to say. I hate jewelry and have zero interest in watches. I’d much prefer to spend the money on the house or a holiday. Lots of people would love it though.

Wait a few days and see how you feel about it.

"when actually you’d have been happier with a framed photo or something - but that would have required thought and pre-planning!"

But he booked a romantic weekend away and surprised her with the gift on that trip, so hardly a last-minute desperate purchase.

For some nice watches there are also waiting lists,

OP, some of my best presents ever have been things I initially thought WTF about. Sometimes something unexpected, something you'd never choose for yourself, turn out to be the best.

You'll be wearing that watch when you're 80, and remembering your milestone birthday and how much your husband loved you; the new bathroom long forgotten.