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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's gift is too much

93 replies

JimmyJam2019 · 24/12/2019 23:26

There is no way to explain this without sounding ungrateful but I shall try.
For my milestone birthday hubby took me away to a posh hotel for a meal and night away. My parents looked after the kids all great. Assumed this was my gift and was more than happy with that.
While away he presented me with a new watch, a very nice fancy watch that cost too much and I certainly can't wear day to day.
I'm currently on mat leave and also have a toddler, I go out once a month at best with mum friends to the local pub. Nowhere you wear such a thing.
The amount he spent on it would go a long way to refurbing our bathroom or sorting out our garden, which I'd probably get more use out of.
Aibu?

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 25/12/2019 04:00

For goodness sake it seems men can't win whatever they do.

I find personality is not determined by genitals but (in the vaguest generality) I think my lot are more keen on directness and less likely to be bothered by not liking a gift- hence my advice.

AndAnotherNameChanger · 25/12/2019 04:16

It being an expensive gift doesn't make it a good gift. And if you actually need the money for other things it makes it far worse a gift than a cheap gift you don't want, both are wastes of money, one is a far worse a waste of money. Maybe he was just trying to do a nice thing (though not necessarily) but if he's a decent guy he'll definitely understand if you say you really appreciate the thought but it's not the right gift for you and yours really rather spend the money on xyz as that's what you really want.

TwiddleMuff · 25/12/2019 04:22

It sounds like he doesn’t know you very well which is a bit sad. My DH wouldn’t do something like this in a million years as he knows my reaction would be like yours.

itsmecathycomehome · 25/12/2019 04:27

I think a good watch is a beautiful thing, an heirloom that your daughter will wear one day. I wear mine every single day as I don't believe in keeping things 'for best'. I would rather wear it every day and get enjoyment from it. If it is something like a Rolex or a Cartier it may appreciate in value, and will certainly outlast a bathroom. From a practical point of view, it could also be sold in a financial emergency. It was given to you with love and, as long as your family can afford it, I would recommend enjoying it.

Aridane · 25/12/2019 04:52

I would love a beautiful and expensive watch I could wear proudly everyday and remind myself that my partner bought it for a landmark birthday out of love and affection. What's that purple poem about not saving things for best?

But maybe it's Christmas and I'm feeling mushy

WatchingTheMoon · 25/12/2019 04:55

I see where you're coming from, as I never wear watches and I don't care about fancy shit.

On the other hand, it's nice to be spoiled.

whiteroseredrose · 25/12/2019 07:44

YANBU.

If you're not into fancy jewellery (like me) it's a huge waste of money.

I'd feel uncomfortable wearing a Rolex or similar. I'd feel too flash.

BarbaraofSeville · 25/12/2019 07:53

Agree that it's a waste of money unless you have absolutely loads so can also get the garden and bathroom done.

I'm not into jewelry at all and expensive watches/rings etc hold no extra value compared with normal ones that cost a few pounds - any old watch within reason tells the time, so one that costs thousands doesn't do any extra to me.

Plus I wouldn't want the responsibility of carrying around something so valuable - presumably you'd need to insure it, and the extra cost of that would annoy me too.

burnoutbabe · 25/12/2019 07:57

Surely if married then it's also your money being used to buy expensive gifts?
Different if a boyfriend or parent.
Yep I'd not be hugely grateful for an expensive unwanted item paid for 50% by me.
Can get a blingy cheap watch if needed and spend the rest on agreed stuff.
Or will husband also be wanting a similar expensive watch for his birthday now? Which you won't be able to refuse if he got you one.

Northernsoullover · 25/12/2019 08:01

The important thing is will you go short in other areas? Will the bathroom have to wait another year because of it? If no then you ABU

dottiedodah · 25/12/2019 08:11

Judging by recent comments about how husbands misjudge buying gifts for wives ,you are lucky that you have such a nice present! I would keep it and wear it for "best" .You can always save for a bathroom !

HugeAckmansWife · 25/12/2019 08:13

It really doesn't matter what any of us prefer with regard to an expensive watch. The OP is not someone who will wear it so therefore FOR HER it was not a good or thoughtful gift.

AJPTaylor · 25/12/2019 08:14

Say thank you.
Enjoy it. A marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Wear it, insure it, enjoy it.
He has got something lovely for you and put it above mundane stuff such as diy

Fluffycloudland77 · 25/12/2019 08:15

He thinks your worth it and wants to buy you something nice.

I get it though, dh has bought me something nice for Christmas but I really want a 6L pressure king 😀. I had a robo hoover for my birthday.

WhoTheFuckIsGail · 25/12/2019 08:16

YABU. MN is filled with selfish twats for partners and yours did a lovely thing for you. It doesn't matter if it's fancy, you can still wear it.

LizziesTwin · 25/12/2019 08:18

I have two beautiful watches, DH gave me one in 1993 and I bought another in 2005. I wear the newer one everyday, it has diamonds on the face & they still sell them. Enjoy having something you like and use it, you’ll take the bathroom for granted after a year but a lovely watch you’ll enjoy everytime you look at it.

lolaflores · 25/12/2019 08:38

A day will come when u wont be on maternity leave and have places to go that will be ideal for a fancy watch.

HappydaysArehere · 25/12/2019 08:42

Agree with the above posts. Your dh gave it to you with love. You can’t not keep it.

WobblyAllOver · 25/12/2019 08:45

I have a lovely watch that was bought from an inheritance. I wear it all the time as that is what is was for.

Just put it on your house insurance (doesn't tend to make much difference in terms of cost but they need to be named after a certain amount) and then wear it as an everyday item.

thunderthighsohwoe · 25/12/2019 08:46

Wow, my DH got me £50 of Amazon vouchers and I told him off for overspending on me 😂

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 25/12/2019 08:48

It's a milestone birthday, and therefore a milestone gift. Your watch could last a lifetime, there will be plenty of special occasions to wear it.

Presumably you've had other "ordinary" birthdays when he hasn't gone overboard.

Enjoy it for the gesture of love it is. Much better than a refurbed bathroom!Smile

MmmMalbec · 25/12/2019 09:01

I agree with you. I’d be annoyed spending money on unnecessary expensive things if money is an issue anyway!

SerenDippitty · 25/12/2019 09:08

My DH bought me an £800 Longines watch for my 50th and I love it.

I agree with pp that nice things should be worn and enjoyed. I wear my mum’s engagement ring every day. It’s far more valuable than mine but she would want me to enjoy it.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/12/2019 09:09

DH brought me a terrifically expensive coat for a milestone birthday. My initial reaction was "wtf, that's way too much money". My mother told me off, she made the point that DH could afford it and it was up to him how he chose to spend his spare money. I have worn that coat pretty much every cold day for the last 3 years and actually it is lovely. Just enjoy it OP, unless you are really hard up and your DH couldn't really afford it, in which case have a chat about it, carefully.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/12/2019 09:10

Sorry I meant "bought" not brought!!