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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel my boss could have got me a Christmas gift?

81 replies

Mylittlerobin · 24/12/2019 14:12

Ok so I work for a large organisation as a PA, where the top bosses earn well in excess of £100K.
I bought my boss a lovely box of chocolates, and received from him......a card.
No present whatsoever.
I think this is jolly mean, they earn so much money and we do so much for them the least they could do is show their appreciation once a year no?

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 24/12/2019 14:14

Does he not get ANY of the staff a gift? I wonder if as PA you should have said "And what are you planning for staff gifts this year?" And then gone and bought them?

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 24/12/2019 14:17

I work in the public sector and manage a team of 23 , they all got a gift and a card, only a small token but they seemed to appreciate it. I've worked in the sector for years but only took on this team in October, little gestures go a long way and I don't earn anywhere near what your boss does!

StarbucksSmarterSister · 24/12/2019 14:27

I wonder if as PA you should have said

I've been a PA for decades. None of my bosses would ever have expected me to organise presents for others in the office. It wouldn't even occur to me to ask him, either. Although in my experience most bosses only get gifts for those they work most closely with, not the whole team.

I always had a present of some kind from every boss I've ever had, ranging from a decent cheque every xmas from one boss, to chocolates from others, depending on how long I'd worked for them.

OP he's a stingy sod. Don't even get him a card next time.

Strokethefurrywall · 24/12/2019 14:29

I manage a team and I got them all a gift. Having said that, in my experience, male managers rarely get their direct supports anything decent or thought out.

Those who have been working together a long time and have an excellent relationship, yes but otherwise I find them so oblivious, because they've been allowed to be. Only rarely are the male "bosses" considerate enough to actually remember to go and get something.

That being said, in the past when I was working with wealthy partners, you're damn straight they got me some incredible gifts, but that's because they'd been in the game long enough to know how to show appreciation.

Middle bosses/associates/junior partners just don't know how and they're too busy "progressing" to think about it.

BonnyConnie · 24/12/2019 14:29

Maybe his wife didn’t think to buy one? Men are often useless at Christmas (I have one sleeping upstairs as we speak Xmas Angry).

ouch321 · 24/12/2019 14:30

I'm sure people will say 'Oh but you get paid' etc but I'm with you on this. Even a tin of shortbread or whatnot.

I always get a token something and am in a similar-ish role.

ItsLikeHeardingCats · 24/12/2019 14:31

TBH, I'm in the "everyone or nobody" camp when it gets to gift giving to employees. Learned this the hard way early on in my career as a manager - drama ensued.

Personally, I've given a very decent bottle (and one and the same for everyone) to everybody who reports directly to me this year - and have gifted a small something (box of chocs) to everyone reporting to anyone whose line management somehow ends up including me. To be honest, it's turned out quite expensive because we're looking at quite a head count overall (and because I value our people and while not wanting to bankrupt myself, want it to be something at least nice). I don't mind at all and I can afford it - but for some of the more junior managers in departments with large personnel numbers it might actually not be entirely affordable.

My boss is the regional COO and basically only gifted the senior execs working directly for him. I would hope he included his PA.

To be honest, while the gift was nice, what really convinced me once more that I have a lovely, decent boss was that he popped by my client location on Friday, asked me for coffee and basically just said he wanted to see me, say thanks and wish me happy holidays in person because he appreciated me and how I'd come through for us during a hard time last year. I could have hugged him (but we're both not huggers and it would have been awkward, so I didn't.)

churchandstate · 24/12/2019 14:34

Are you his personal PA? If so I think you should have received a small gift, yes, but it’s a bit of an impolite omission rather than a big deal for me.

Expressedways · 24/12/2019 14:39

Very mean. My boss once forgot to get me a gift and gave me £200 in cash, a chocolate bar from the vending machine and a bottle of strange foreign schnapps left over from a deal. It was strange but I didn’t complain! Ive never not had a gift from my boss, and I’ve also found more junior low level managers give thoughtful gifts too- there’s a guy I do the odd expense report for and he gave me a scented candle and coffee voucher. Next year don’t bother with the card and chocolates, he doesn’t deserve it!

Sparklesocks · 24/12/2019 14:42

I’m a PA and my bosses have always got me presents so I don’t think you’re unreasonable for expecting a small token gift

MonsterKidz · 24/12/2019 14:43

YANBU

I’m a teacher and have two TAs in my class working alongside me.I make crap money and still i managed to gift them both a small
box of chocs and a necklace for one and earrings for the other. Along with a card saying how much i appreciate everything they do and how i love working with them. It’s not difficult!!

TheFaerieQueene · 24/12/2019 14:44

@BonnyConnie I hope you were joking.

Goingtobeoldearly · 24/12/2019 14:45

I don't think you should expect a gift from your boss.

Celebelly · 24/12/2019 14:48

Tbh I never thought about it much when I was the boss. No one got me a Christmas present and I did usually bring in a couple of boxes of Celebrations for everyone to share, but I had more than 20 people reporting to me and I wasn't buying individual presents for them all! I've never really worked anywhere where presents from the boss are a thing. Maybe some communal chocs as above or a round of drinks at the staff Christmas meal.

KezzabellaB · 24/12/2019 14:48

I work for the NHS and got sod all. Not even a thank you from my manager Yeah cheers mate!! 🙄

Megan2018 · 24/12/2019 14:49

I always buy for my direct reports, can’t afford loads but usually about £10 each plus I pay the deposit on our meal. I shop carefully over the year so can usually get something nice for the £10. I have 10 to buy for so it adds up!

adaline · 24/12/2019 14:53

I'm a manager and I haven't bought any of my team a Christmas present. It wouldn't even occur to me to do so! The company provides chocolates and a Christmas meal out, but that's it.

I've never received a gift from any of my managers and it wouldn't occur to me to expect one.

Isleepinahedgefund · 24/12/2019 14:54

I don't think anyone should be getting anyone a gift at work! It would never occur to me to get my team gifts, and I've never been given a gift by a manager.

As with any gift giving, you certainly shouldn't expect it and get offended when it doesn't happen

MrsCollinssettled · 24/12/2019 14:54

I don't remember a male boss ever buying me a Xmas gift. It has always been female bosses who buy token gifts for staff.

namechange4052 · 24/12/2019 14:54

Maybe his wife didn’t think to buy one?

Is this a joke?

WaterOffADucksCrack · 24/12/2019 15:11

Maybe his wife didn’t think to buy one? 😂😂😂😂😂

Scotinoz · 24/12/2019 15:12

I've never received a gift from a boss, but never bought one either. Never thought it was odd in anyway!

GameSetMatch · 24/12/2019 15:13

My husband who doesn’t drink wine got a bottle of really cheap chocolate liquor wine, he’s probably preferred nothing than a thoughtless gift. Look on the bright side one less gift to take to the charity shop.

AFireInJuly · 24/12/2019 15:14

Yanbu. I work in the kind of environment you do and we always get our PAs a Christmas present.

Ffsnosexallowed · 24/12/2019 15:16

I got my team a bottle of fizz each. Manager had bigger team than me but didn't even get me a card.