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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel my boss could have got me a Christmas gift?

81 replies

Mylittlerobin · 24/12/2019 14:12

Ok so I work for a large organisation as a PA, where the top bosses earn well in excess of £100K.
I bought my boss a lovely box of chocolates, and received from him......a card.
No present whatsoever.
I think this is jolly mean, they earn so much money and we do so much for them the least they could do is show their appreciation once a year no?

OP posts:
spongedog · 24/12/2019 16:42

i now work in education, new job this academic year - and my boss didnt even get me a card. First time ever. I wasnt very impressed.

Fairyliz · 24/12/2019 16:50

That’s rubbish. I’ve worked in the public sector for over 40 years and always had a small gift from my boss at the time such as chocolate/wine.
DD started a new job five weeks ago and got a £100 voucher from her boss which obviously she was delighted with

I8toys · 24/12/2019 16:59

I am a PA and work for 5 people. 2 I have worked with for years and I get presents from them. 3 others I get nothing. I also buy presents for the ones I have worked with for years. We are friends as well as colleagues. I don't expect anything from anyone ekse. If someone buys me something I am very grateful but its not expected. If I have a close working relationship with someone then we buy mutual gifts.

BonnyConnie · 24/12/2019 17:05

@TheFaerieQueene unfortunately not, sadly it often works this way, especially with very successful men who are apparently too busy to do basic adulting. He might just be so useless that he hasn’t bought any of the gifts he’s giving and his wife didn’t know that OP gabs him a gift/even exists. Also not joking about my own useless louse.

spingly · 24/12/2019 17:06

Maybe his wife didn’t think to buy one?

Yeah because it's women's work buying presents isn't it! If you've got of those funny things called a man upstairs asleep I suggest you wake the lazy bastard up and tell him we're about to enter 2020, his attitude finished in 1960.

YANBU OP, was he uncomfortable when you gave him the chocolates?

spingly · 24/12/2019 17:08

@TheFaerieQueene unfortunately not, sadly it often works this way, especially with very successful men who are apparently too busy to do basic adulting. He might just be so useless that he hasn’t bought any of the gifts he’s giving and his wife didn’t know that OP gabs him a gift/even exists. Also not joking about my own useless louse.

"Happens with very successful men@ what oral and utter bollocks, he's got you well brainwashed ..... he sounds utterly awful and a complete failure of a man not a successful one.

spingly · 24/12/2019 17:08

Total not oral!!

laudete · 24/12/2019 17:09

YANBU; I'd be tempted to remember this the next time you have to organise/solve anything for his personal life. PAs are not just a regular employee.

spingly · 24/12/2019 17:11

@BonnyConnie your husband is not very successful as a husband or parent, he is a complete failure at those by the sound of it!

userinterface34 · 24/12/2019 17:17

I head a team of 8 and my Direct boss got them all a present and a thank you etc. Even one who is close to discipline for being so lazy. I also got them a present. And nothing for me from my direct boss. To be honest it’s hurtful with how hard I’ve worked. If I wasn’t the only one left out I wouldn’t care and to be honest it’s not something I’d have used but to be the only one was a bit crushing and I do intend to ask if it was deliberate in the new year.

CosmoK · 24/12/2019 17:19

I know a number of successful men and women. All are capable of being successful at work and contributing equally at home.
My DH bought his PA a present but I'm not sure what it was .....he also managed to buy presents for his family and did the food shop.

I hate it when men are excused from basic activities just because they have a very important job. It's complete bullshit

Gonetoget · 24/12/2019 17:29

I’ve never bought a gift for a boss before, would stretch to a card, but a gift seems a bit creepy. He must have little shame to just give you a card after you Getting him something.

Justaboy · 24/12/2019 17:30

The Christmass sprit of older Ebenezeer still regins;)..

Tanfastic · 24/12/2019 17:36

Whenever I've worked as a PA I've always got a lovely gift from my boss. He's a stingy bastard.

buttonup26 · 24/12/2019 17:44

NHS too and not even a merry Christmas from my manager .....

PrettyPurpleFeather · 24/12/2019 17:51

The best I got was a large box of Godiva chocolates from when I worked in HE sector. The worst was a big fat nothing and
a bill to pay for my own Christmas Dinner.

LonelyGir1 · 24/12/2019 17:54

There is no obligation for bosses to do so.

BonnyConnie · 24/12/2019 17:57

@singly do you not understand irony or sarcasm? I’m not brainwashed by anyone but a certain class of men genuinely never learn to Christmas and genuinely believe that it isn’t their responsibility (like my husband for example, someone always did it for him and now that he’s busy and doing well out of his business he uses it as an excuse not to learn, unfortunately that means that anyone who I don’t care about misses out because I don’t take on his Christmas responsibilities where it doesn’t effect me). It’s quite possible that OPs boss is one of these men and his wife either didn’t know or doesn’t care (or refuses to care out of principle like me).

Twinklelikethechristmastree · 24/12/2019 18:02

I didn't even get a card from my boss. Some people are just thoughtless x

WoollyMollyMonkey · 24/12/2019 18:05

When I worked in a school the head bought every member of staff a gift.

Celeriacacaca · 24/12/2019 18:27

A PA would usually get a very nice, and quite expensive, gift from a boss. In your case, he's a tight wad.

Neron · 24/12/2019 18:34

YANBU OP. I support a CEO. I work 40 hours a week plus evenings, weekends and am on call for when he needs me (often). I rarely get a day off because he's always texting me with 'urgent' things. I don't expect a gift but he didn't even wish me happy Xmas.

Tellmetruth4 · 24/12/2019 18:43

That’s pretty mean of him OP.

spingly · 24/12/2019 18:53

@BonnyConnie you sound like a total make excuser... he's so busy... he's doing well, it makes no difference how well he's doing he's lazy end of!

spingly · 24/12/2019 19:01

*male