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AIBU?

To not know what to do about mums alcoholism

118 replies

Subeccoo · 24/12/2019 10:33

My mum is an alcoholic, has been all my life.
It's just an accepted part of the family, she drinks too much and that's the way it is.
Various family members myself included have told her and offered support over the years, my brother and I are virtually tee total to present a healthy lifestyle in front of her.
Our dad likes his beer but in no way to the extent and refuses to engage in discussion about it. I pulled him aside recently after a particularly bad episode but he just says she will not see a doctor or give up alcohol.
She is sick, really sick. Her skin is yellow, she eats nothing, her movements are slow.
There seems to be nothing we can do and I don't know what to do about it, I'm convinced she'll die really soon.
Irony is she's drinking very little at the moment, but has a small glass every day.
Has anyone dealt with a family member going through this?
What do you do? Just watch them fucking die?

OP posts:
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Zofloramummy · 01/01/2020 00:23

I am so sorry subeccoo I’m glad it was peaceful and that you got back in time to say your goodbyes. I’m sure the next few weeks will feel surreal but you will get through it Flowers

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theemmadilemma · 01/01/2020 01:11

Oh I'm so very sorry.

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Cauliflowerpower · 01/01/2020 01:15

I'm so sorry to hear this x

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TWD89 · 01/01/2020 01:17

@Subeccoo I’m so sorry. My DM died suddenly and quickly too (Four years ago now) and it’s so hard to come to terms with. She also died just before Xmas so a similar time of year.

@ElizabethMountbatten I’m sorry for your loss too. It’s all just horrible.

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MulticolourMophead · 01/01/2020 01:49

I'm so sorry. Thanks

But, as you say, quickly and peacefully. So I hope she wasn't suffering much.

Pleas be kind to yourself. Having lost mum last year, it was hard, so you, your dad and siblings need to take comfort from each other.

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CazParentofBoys · 01/01/2020 01:56

So sorry for your loss x

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TrixIrl · 01/01/2020 01:56

As hard it is, she's at peace now. Take care of yourself and your dad X

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CameronG · 01/01/2020 02:14

Flowers you poor soul. Please be kind to yourself. You did all you could. You did all the right things. She’s at peace now.

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OrangeSlices998 · 01/01/2020 02:16

Incredibly sorry to read your update OP, sending you and your family love. I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through Flowers

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FromEden · 01/01/2020 04:21

So sorry OP Flowers There was nothing more you could have done, your mother had to make the choice herself to stop. Hope you, your dad and siblings are ok.

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f00k · 01/01/2020 11:41

I'm so sorry for you loss @Subeccoo

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SusanneLinder · 01/01/2020 14:14

I'm so sorry for your loss @Subeccoo. I lost my Dad to alcoholism 19 years ago, and we had become estranged too. Made our peace before the end.
I try to think of the man he was before drink took hold of him, but I know there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome.

Flowers

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FrauleinF · 01/01/2020 16:07

I'm sorry for your loss. Look after yourself as best you can Flowers

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WelshMammaofaSlovak · 01/01/2020 19:12

I couldn't read the update and dash - I'm so very sorry for your loss Thanks

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zafferana · 05/01/2020 18:39

Really sorry to see your update OP Flowers

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Emmymae05 · 23/02/2020 20:58

Hi...

I watched my beautiful mum die a very painful and traumatizing death die to alcoholism in November 2018... and I'm still traumatized by what I saw...

I tried so many different things, begged and begged her to get help to stop... I did this for 10 year and nothing worked...

It's got to be down to the alcoholic, they need to do it themselves.... they won't listen to anyone... I used my two children to try and make her stop as she loved them more than anything.

Alcoholism is a disease and a very horrible one, which turns lovely amazing people into a shadow of what they used to be..

I'm praying and praying your mum gets the help and I pray for you too... there is nothing worse that seeing someone killing themselves and there nothing you can do to help them. In so sorry your going through this

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Emmymae05 · 23/02/2020 21:00

Just to add also. My mum was only 53 when she passed away.

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Emmymae05 · 23/02/2020 21:07

I'm sorry I didnt read the full thread before I posted... I'm so sorry to hear about your mum passing but I am relieved that she passes peacefully and you managed to get to her in time..

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