Leaving kids home alone

[eggnogged]

Probably ABU. Have lost perspective... Is it ok to leave DCs - 10 & 12 (both under the weather with colds) for 1.5/2 hours to go to the gym? It's DH who's left them. I'm at work (a long way from home). He won't be contactable. They will probably stare at their screens I know. I know... I just don't like it. But I think that's probably because things have been difficult recently. He's disengaged and gets mad with them for little things. I know that other people will probably see things differently. It would just be helpful to know what people in less dysfunctional families do...

Anything could happen

I'm at work (a long way from home). He won't be contactable.

Usually I would say it's fine. However, these 2 points, as well as them both being ill would have me reconsidering. Surely he could give the gym a miss for one day?

Totally fine.

I'd do it.

I think it's fine assuming no sn and they don't fight like cat and dog?!

My ds is 11...I'd be ok to leave him for up to an hour. I generally don't because dd is 9 and not ready to be left yet.

For context, my ds has just started secondary school...many of his friends go home to empty houses until their parents get home from work.

Ok but should be contactable. Why isn't he? Also going over the scenarios of what to do if...

When DS was 10, I went full time. He used to walk home from school (20 minutes), let himself in and be at home alone until 4.45/5 (so about 1.5 hours). He was fine xx

Not being contactable is not ok though

They need to be able to contact someone in an emergency. No friends or family locally?

At that age they should be fine. They're both (almost) secondary school age.

It’s fine

If they're generally sensible kids and there is someone reasonably close they know to contact in an emergency, even if it's a neighbour or another family member, then I'd be ok with it.

they should know who to contact for emergency

Probably not okay from me. I have a 10 year old and don’t ever leave her alone and she’s pretty sensible. My dh wouldn’t either and he’s fairly selfish in many ways especially where his hobbies are concerned. How far away is the gym? And why isn’t he contactable? Does it need to be for two hours.

It’s fine as long as the kids can contact him in an emergency. Which they can’t

Fine. Would they know to go to a neighbour, or dial 999 in a serious emergency.

I think they need someone to contact even if it's just a neighbour.

I would be ok with the 12 year old but not the 10 year old, it’s too much responsibility to leave the 12 to look after the 10 year old.

I would say it’s fine. I assume the dc can contact you if there was an emergency and you could call the gym?

Seems the issue here is with your dh rather than leaving the dc for an hour.

I think their ages mean they're fine to be left alone ( as long as they won't fight?). But why isn't their father contactable?

My DS is 13 and is often home alone for 3 hours or so, but both of us always have our phones on us and will take a call from him (ie will step out of a meeting).

As long as they can contact someone ie contact you and you can call the gym etc. Depends on the severity of illness I suppose- comes fine D&V no. 10 year old has been doing this sort of time since about 9.5

If they don't fight then yes it's fine. I leave my 10 year old sometimes for short periods of time.

They will be ok.

Meant to say just a cold - fine

Assuming sensible, of course it's fine.

I'd probably want them to understand what they did in case of emergency though if he's not contactable (go to a neighbour, friend nearby etc).

He needs to be contactable, because they are not well (I assume mildly ill, if concerning then he shouldn't be going at all). Does the gym have a reception desk?

But yes, a well occupied 10yo should be fine alone for a period under 2 hours