Leaving kids home alone

[eggnogged]

Probably ABU. Have lost perspective... Is it ok to leave DCs - 10 & 12 (both under the weather with colds) for 1.5/2 hours to go to the gym? It's DH who's left them. I'm at work (a long way from home). He won't be contactable. They will probably stare at their screens I know. I know... I just don't like it. But I think that's probably because things have been difficult recently. He's disengaged and gets mad with them for little things. I know that other people will probably see things differently. It would just be helpful to know what people in less dysfunctional families do...

So you're assuming he's put his phone on the locker rather than knowing it's the case? Ime most people have their phones with them in the gym. How did you find out they've been left?

@happycamper11 - he told them he wouldn't be contactable. I know about it all because they rang me. There was no plan for an emergency contact.

The older one stays home on her own but always with a contact no. The younger one (yr 5) is less happy without an adult around - just her nature.

They were sensible enough to call you though, that's a good sign!

I think it’s fine to leave them at 10 and 12, being uncontactable is not ok though.

I actually think leaving your children for 90 minutes to go to gym in the middle of the day on Christmas Eve is a bit crap.

I actually think leaving your children for 90 minutes to go to gym in the middle of the day on Christmas Eve is a bit crap.

It's not like they're toddlers, though. I'm sure a 10 and 12 year old are more than happy to be left for a while - they don't need constant supervision at that age, even if it is Christmas Eve!

Ordinarily I’d say they’d be fine... but it’s Christmas Eve! Surely your DH could give the gym a miss for one day and do something nice with the kids!

adaline

Well, that’s what I think of it. Not the end of the world, just a bit rubbish.

I can understand wanting to go as gym is likely to be shut for two days.
But should keep his phone

Do they have someone to call in an emergency?

Leaving them while you pop to the shop and are contactable by phone is one thing. Being far away and not contactable is not on (unless you have a plan B like granny up the road - and they know they might be needed).

It is fine.

It’s good they can contact you so I wouldn’t be concerned. In an absolute emergency they need someone who can tell them what to do/ring an emergency service not be present and in a less urgent situation they can contact you for advice - you can contact dh if need be. I do think your wofer problems are affecting your judgment on this one

Totally depends on the children.

Will they behave? Do they know what to do if something goes wrong.

I'd leave my 11.5 year old at home for that length of time.

Mine are 13 (just) and nearly 11, and I have no problems leaving them. They can always contact us though.

They will be fine. And at that age they should be capable to amuse themselves and not wreck the house. As for 12 yo being responsible to not murder her sibling in meantime - sounds fair.

I left my 12 0 yr old for 3.5 hours last week when he was off with a stinking cold. I work 1 mile away, he has a phone and TV. He's super sensible and knew not to eat anything (choking). Absolutely fine

The fact that they contacted you suggests they weren't comfortable with him being out of contact.

I agree with @churchandstate tbh

Also, I think it’s important to be confident that the younger/less capable child knows how to stay calm and call for help if anything happens the older one, rather than basing the decision on the competence of the eldest one.

I have experience of a seemingly mildly sick child getting dangerously ill rapidly and it’s hard not to be over protective afterwards so this situation would not sit well with me, but I acknowledge that other posters might have a more balanced perspective.