WIBU to tell him to get lost based on these two date suggestions

[GiveMeStrengthOrAHobby]

Option 1) tescos
Option 2) "crap pub"

Context: met through OLD, chatting for a couple of months, talked on the phone and arranged to meet on 27th.

His car is off the road so i said i would come to his neck of the woods, he should suggest where as i dont know the area.

Tescos is his first choice. Crap pub came about after i pushed back on tescos.

Told him as its a first meet and i am travelling to him (circa 50 miles) i expect more than tescos or a crap pub. Its in his court but I feel like saying "sod it" all together

Car's off the road? Nah, he is tight and doesn't want to use fuel. The Tesco's suggestion says all you need to know. Block and move on.

Is he living in a shed in his mum's backyard?

He doesn’t sound like much of a catch. Go with your gut. The choice is to see if he comes up with a decent place or ditch him. Ywnbu to do either.

Are you desperate OP, really, do you need to sleep on it? Please raise the bar at least enough for someone who wants to take you for a meal in a country pub or somewhere atmospheric.

He could at least have suggested a more upmarket Waitrose or M&S.....though it wasn’t Aldi or Lidl! Ditch him.

My DD went on a first date yesterday, and ended up at KFC because Nando's was too busy. She's 15 though, so fair did, and even KFC is a step up from Tesco!

*fair dos.

KFC is a perfectly suitable date for 15 year olds!!

I think the PP who suggested that he thinks you're only meeting up for a shag is right, actually. Bin this one, and keep looking.

I bet he lives around the corner from Tescos.
Whichever way he sounds lazy, thoughtless and a bit tight tbh
I would not drive 50 miles.
I did try OLD once years ago...not the best experience.
I did drive slightly more half way once(25 miles) to meet someone who couldn't drive.
He got the train 15miles. He moaned about this though even though he said he was a keen walker.
The station was 0.25 miles from his house.

It turned out very quickly at meet up that he thought/expected that I should be the one doing all the travelling, picking him up and then driving somewhere for lunch and split bill...I thought sod that and didn't bother again(there were other reasons as well but this was the biggest turn off).

This is going to sound really harsh OP but never ever travel to meet them first on OLD. Let him wait until his car is back on the road and he can come to you. You’ll weed out a hell of a lot of time wasters this way, trust me.

Why would you even consider driving 50 miles to meet someone for the first time, doesn’t matter whether the date is the Ritz or Tescos ... just say no, where is your self respect? Are you so desperate to meet someone?

A few scenarios here:

1. Hes broke and will expect you to bankroll him
2. Hes tight
3. Hes testing your boundaries
4. He has 0 imagination and his entire world is within a mile radius.

Either way, he doesn't sound like much of a catch.

I think he’s just looking for a shag.
He was willing to come to your place but now you want an actual date, he cant be bothered and you need to do all the work.

He's not even making any effort now
Not a good sign
Thank you next

Does he want you to pay for his shopping? If you go you’ll end up following him up and down the aisles as he puts pot noodles and corn platers in his basket and he’ll forget his wallet. 😂

I also have an online date on the same day. He lives 20 miles away and we are both travelling by public transport and meeting in the middle.

Having said that, this will be my first and last online date as for many reasons I think online dating is awful.

Asking to come to your house is the real red flag OP, and I agree with those who think he wants to meet you in Tesco’s to then go straight to his.

(My issue is that I inadvertently heard my date’s voice and do not think there will be an attraction, however I would feel really bad about cancelling on this basis. He seems like a very nice person.)

I can’t think of a single reason for going to Tesco on a date. Him being broke wouldn’t put me off. Him lacking the imagination to suggest a walk in a park/along the river/somewhere pretty or a trip to a local freebie gallery or something, most definitely would. Run!

I would just decline politely, wish him well and then block.

Not worth the headspace.

@Ragwort judgy much. If you have nothing of value to contribute, dont.

Everyone else, i wasn’t sleeping on the question I was just tired and went to bed. With regards to the timeframe, life happens and mine has been particularly fraught recently, 27th was the first date where we matched.

I think when i posted i was particularly resigned to not going, i just wanted to see if the mumsnet wisdom conceded.

I once went on a first date to tesco! I was 19 though and we were both just being indecisive. He was my boyfriend for quite a while.

But no, you definitely should not meet up with that man.

50 miles away? Even if you click, how do you see that playing out?

Nope. No imagination or effort on his part. Tesco is where you go because you need bread etc. It’s not a date place. And 50 miles to get there. Thats grim .

Come on OP, you don't need to ask us. Bear in mind this is a FIRST date when one assumes he's going all out to impress. Where are you going to go when his standards drop? Run.

I bet he's already wondering how quickly he could move into your house by stealth.