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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm thinking in laws are wrong and DH should stay home?

69 replies

vommanchristmas · 23/12/2019 17:29

DH has just come down with the stomach bug that's been going around. Throwing up, diarrhoea and fever etc. He's in bed acting like he's the first person ever to be sick Hmm.--

Father in law just popped over to give ds a loaf of banana bread and see how dh was. I told him that other people that have had this gave said it's about a 10 hour thing so he should be ok by tonight.

Fil said "ok well we'll see you tomorrow morning!" It's a family tradition that another family member has a huge Christmas Eve brunch. There's usually between 15-40 people depending on the year.

I was surprised and said 'oh even if he's better I don't think we'll be going, he'll still be contagious.'

Fil told me I'm being ridiculous and if people are going to get it they'll get it. I think he thought I was trying to get out of going. (I'm not I was actually really looking forward to it.)

I said "well it's up to dh but I'll be advising him not to go, I don't want to be the family that makes the entire town (that hasn't had it yet) sick for Christmas."

Apparently I'm being unkind to dh it's not fair for him to miss out.

If I was sick today there's no way I'd go and probably infect everyone. Am I being a bit ott as fil says? If so I won't suggest to dh that he doesn't go.

OP posts:
BarbedBloom · 23/12/2019 17:31

I am immuno suppressed so would be furious. Do you know if anyone going could be?

Original poster
vommanchristmas · 23/12/2019 17:34

@BarbedBloom there could well be. There are a lot of elderly people going. In don't live in the UK and school/ work rules here is 24 hours from throwing up before you go back in rather than 48.

In fact someone from DS's class was back in school last week FOUR HOURS after throwing up. How ds didn't catch it is a marvel.

OP posts:
HotPenguin · 23/12/2019 17:36

Is he going to feel like a slap up meal after 24 hours of both ends?

HoomanMoomin · 23/12/2019 17:36

YANBU.

BellsAJingleTheRoastedChestnut · 23/12/2019 17:38

Yanbu. 24 hours would be the minimum. Some schools here (SE England) now say 24 hours instead of 48. I never let sick dcs near elderly relatives if they've been sick recently. Too worrying!

misspiggy19 · 23/12/2019 17:41

I wouldn’t go

Original poster
vommanchristmas · 23/12/2019 17:49

Just spoke to dh. He says I'm being ridiculous and that he's going. Selfish prick. Angry

OP posts:
ohwheniknow · 23/12/2019 17:55

Selfish prick doesn't even come close.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/12/2019 17:57

It's shocking how some people, your husband included, are so fucking self-absorbed and selfish. He's been puking and shitting his arse out all day yet he has no consideration for anyone else's health. There's also a good chance you are infected as well.

RuggerHug · 23/12/2019 17:57

They're idiots.

ohwheniknow · 23/12/2019 17:57

It was people like him who meant I missed out on time with my mum towards the end of her life, because we couldn't risk me passing on what they'd so callously and needlessly passed on to me.

halcyondays · 23/12/2019 17:59

Yanbu. It would be so selfish to do this. Anyway even if he’s stopped d and v ing by tomorrow, he’s probably still going to feel pretty unwell. He’s unlikely to be able to face a lot of rich food and a big gathering.

I’m sure all the guests would rather he didn’t come. As you say, you don’t want him to be that person who gives everyone a bug for Xmas.

Hope he feels better soon.

Strictly1972 · 23/12/2019 17:59

I’d be really annoyed if I found out a guest had been poorly & was still going. If I knew beforehand I would stay away myself.

Foodtheif · 23/12/2019 18:01

I’d be furious for my child. She has type 1 diabetes so a sickness type bug caught now could easily see her very ill in hospital over Christmas. Even if we were all perfectly healthy I wouldn’t appreciate being ill over Christmas.

Potentialmadcatlady · 23/12/2019 18:01

He is an idiot. 48hours is what is suggested. Our area is just recovering from norovirus. Multiple schools had to be shut for days and deep cleaned in order to get rid of it. I would be furious if he turned up at a party I was at and would leave taking my immuno compromised child with me.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 23/12/2019 18:02

Just spoke to dh. He says I'm being ridiculous and that he's going. Selfish prick.

He's obviously not feeling that ill then, is he? That was a very quick recovery if he's already so sure he'll be fine to go out in the morning. Is there any chance he could have been swinging the lead to get out of helping with Christmas preparations?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 23/12/2019 18:04

But if he's genuinely ill then you're right, OP he's a selfish prick and I'd tell him so.

ohfourfoxache · 23/12/2019 18:05

He’s a fucking idiot

MatildaTheCat · 23/12/2019 18:09

DH is never I’ll and had Norovirus last week. One day of vomiting and fever, next day feeling absolutely knackered and ill. He would be a total prick to go and expose all those people to this at any time let along Christmas.

Hide all his shoes.

Molly2016 · 23/12/2019 18:13

DD went to a birthday party on Saturday. Saturday night and Sunday morning she was sick.
I wasn’t sure if it was related to over eating at the party or a bug, because she recovered quickly and seemed otherwise well (no temperature no diarrhoea etc). I kept her off school to follow 48 hr rule, despite her appearing fine Monday.
Monday DH comes home from work sick.
Tuesday I get sick. Vomiting and generally unwell.
DH’s mum who we saw Saturday also got it. As did his father who is late 70s. They did not recover quickly and have taken a good week to get back to normal.
Your husband is potentially going to infect 40 people. That’s beyond selfish.
My Dd missed her first school nativity play because I followed the 48 hr rule. It’s unfortunate but it’s life.
Tell your husband he seriously needs to reconsider.

EL8888 · 23/12/2019 18:13

YANBU. They are wrong and you are right. He should not go -even if he feels like it. The 48 hour rule applies and that’s 48 hours AFTER symptoms have stopped

Original poster
vommanchristmas · 23/12/2019 18:13

He's actually up and about and going back to work. So he's felt ill for about 3 hours. I've never heard of a stomach flu last that short a time so I don't know what to think!!

OP posts:
Original poster
vommanchristmas · 23/12/2019 18:15

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery he wasn't putting it on. He was working with fil who saw him throw up.

But now apparently he's fine. Hmm

Maybe it was something he ate? He did have curry last night that had been reheated a few times.

OP posts:
Jux · 23/12/2019 18:16

Selfish selfish selfish. I'm immuno compromised. I would catch it. I would be ill for at least 3 days and in recovery for 4 more probably. I would miss everything to do with Christmas - believe me, I know, because some selfish prick did the same to me some years ago. 10 weeks I was ill for - every time I went out I caught another thing and my resistance went down another notch, making it more likely I'd catch another thing.... I missed all of Xmas all NY celebrations, and all of January, February and most of March.i was hospitalised a couple of times. Ask him to imagine only being able to eat yoghurt or Jacob's Crackers for a month or two, if he could eat anything at all.

Decidewhattobeandgobeit · 23/12/2019 18:17

He was either hungover or just fancied a break in bed

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