Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude

83 replies

Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:22

A friend of ours was talking to DP a few months back and DP mentioned he was getting a certain gift for DS for Christmas.

Well DP never got the gift and when I asked him why he told me he couldn't because the friend went and bought it for DS. He's pretty pissed off, and says he let friend know he was annoyed and hasn't spoke to them since.

I think its rude, however I wouldn't have told them that, I would have just taken the gift and said thanks. Was DP BU for telling them he was annoyed about it, and I for kind of agreeing with him, or was friend BU for buying the gift for our DS that DP had planned to buy?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:23

Just to add, DS is Santa age, so gift would have actually been from santa, if that makes a difference. I think DP just feels like our friend ruined it a bit for him.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 23/12/2019 15:27

I think it’s rude to give a child a gift from a friend as if it’s from Santa.

Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:28

That's not what I meant at all..Hmm I said if dp had bought the gift for him, it would have been from santa, so friend has ruined that for him..

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 23/12/2019 15:28

Er, where is the gift? Does your partner have it? If so, he should return it. Inappropriate to accept a gift for your child from someone you promptly fall out with because of gift!

If he doesn’t have gift, well, he’s got one more shopping day til Christmas!

Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:30

No he doesn't have it, I don't think he's really fallen out with them, I certainly haven't because as I said, I would have accepted it and said thanks. We haven't actually seen the friend since they bought it.

OP posts:
BloggersBlog · 23/12/2019 15:30

Confused as to how to vote...

Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:31

Yabu- friend was not rude and we are being ridiculous
Yabu- friend was rude

OP posts:
Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:32

Sorry I fucked that up... I meant

Yanbu- friend was not rude

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 23/12/2019 15:33

I can’t see what the problem is but if your dh has fallen out with the friend is your son actually going to receive the gift at all .

Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:33

Oh my good lord I mean was rude!!!!

Yanbu-= friend WAS rude.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/12/2019 15:34

I think as long as your DS received the gift, it doesn't really matter who bought it. Can't he just buy him something else? Maybe the friend thought he was being helpful, rather than stealing his thunder? Confused

Winterdaysarehere · 23/12/2019 15:34

If the friend is a nice friend and they wanted to treat ds I can't see the issue.
The friend presumably wouldn't be saying he is actually Santa or ds's df just a friend.
Having people who care about your dc is nice tell dh....

JumpyLiz · 23/12/2019 15:35

Well I’m completely lost with the voting, but I think your DH is being a bit of a baby.

goodluckhun · 23/12/2019 15:37

So your DH and his friend were chatting, DH mentioned a gift he wanted to get your DS and friend bought it for him instead?

I'm clear on that part (if above is correct interpretation?!) but can't understand your DH falling out with friend over it? Either it's not a 'big' type present so pal thought oh I'll get it as I have no other ideas and obv DS wants it, OR it is a big type present which is a bit weird to spend a lot on someone else's child but pretty generous and I'd just say thanks so much and get your son something else?

Original poster
Mashaandthebearr · 23/12/2019 15:42

goodluckhun yes youre right, and it's a pretty big gift, which is a big reason I think he was wrong to say anything as I think maybe friend was just being a bit thoughtless, but generous. Again, they haven't properly fallen out, DP responded letting them know he was unhappy that friend bought it, friend never replied and they haven't spoken. I 100% have not fallen out with friend, and I won't be either.

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 23/12/2019 15:46

This seems way OTT. You say your partner mentioned it to his friend months ago? He probably remembered the item your son would like for Christmas, but not that you were already planning to buy it for him. People have a lot going on.

In any case, if I was close enough to someone to be buying Christmas presents for their kids, I’d be pretty pissed off if they fell out with me for buying the wrong thing. Are you sure you don’t have two children - one of whom you married?

KurriKurri · 23/12/2019 15:51

All sounds a bit odd - but I see lots of threads on here where the parents say to someone they are buying child a gift and the 'someone' then goes and buys the gift. It's weird - maybe these people are a bit uncertain about what to buy for a child and latch onto the idea once it has been mentioned.

Anyway - your child is presumably getting a toy that he will enjoy, it's hard to get cross over someone giving your child a gift (unless there is some serious passive aggressive previous for this kind of thing). I just accpet it, say thanks, and never mention what I was buying in front of that person again.

Escapedfromthecountry · 23/12/2019 15:51

Not really seeing the issue here but if they haven't spoken since I would assume DS is unlikely to receive the gift for Christmas from the former friend.

PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya · 23/12/2019 16:00

I’m confused about which way to vote but friend was weird, DP was not rude to not say thanks.

hifolks · 23/12/2019 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Beautiful3 · 23/12/2019 16:06

I don't think that it really matters. If they bought it just say, thanks! No need to fall out over it at all.

KarenChungus1975 · 23/12/2019 16:07

Yanbu. DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!! Angry

Ridiculousanx · 23/12/2019 16:10

Why would you be pissed off that someone bought your child a generous present? I can imagine feeling awkward, though, depending on the relationship.

VanyaHargreeves · 23/12/2019 16:11

Confused surely he was trying to be nice to his friends son, and has now been made to feel like a dickhead

Road to hell, good intentions etc

Armadillostoes · 23/12/2019 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.