DH won't make a will

[hondagirl500]

I got married a couple of years ago, been together about 10 years. Second marriage for us both.
I have a will, from when I was divorced, but now that is obviously out of date.
I have 2 children, so does he. All adults. No grandchildren on either side yet.
I have said we need to make wills - there is a remote possibility that we could both die together, in a crash for example, and then it all gets complex and his children could get nothing!
If a married couple die at same time, and it cannot be proved who actually died first, it is assumed the oldest (him) died first. Thus all assets pass to spouse (me). But if I am dead too, then all assets pass to MY children. His would not inherit anything.
Another scenario - I die, without a will. Everything goes to him. He 'says' he will ensure my children get my assets when he dies. But if he doesn't make a will, there is nothing in law to say they get it, when he eventually dies, his 2 would inherit all.
We need to make wills, so that it is all written properly and there is no doubt where the assets should be split.
But he is up in arms about it! Says I do not trust him, that he would make sure my kids would inherit (but how could they if there is no will?)
I cannot understand how he won't do this?
I cannot just make one on my own, as we own joint property, we both have to do it, but he won't even discuss it.
How do I make him see that this is so important?

Surely you could just make a will to say what you want your kids to inherit? If he dies, it sounds like you'll give his kids their dues...

Oh I see! Sorry. Joint property.

Go and see a solicitor. Have a will drawn up which includes all assets and all scenarios...do it as you think is right.

Take it back to him and make him sign it. If he wont' sign it, then tell him you want to sell the joint property now.

Yes, you can make a will on your own.

Go see a solicitor for proper advice. You can't make him make a will, but you can sever the joint tenancy and leave your share so that he has a right of occupation, and then your share goes to your children on the second death.

When you say joint property I am assuming that it is tennants in common. You own a certain percentage and he the owns the rest. Say its 50% each. Can you not make a will leaving your half to your kids along with what other assets you may have.

It's not just about the money either. Dying intestated, even if married, adds administrative burden, time delays and uncertainty at the very worst possible time.

if You’re joint tenants you can’t leave your share to anyone else in a will, the property would automatically pass to him as you both have 100% interest in the property.

It’ll be such a mess if one of you dies without a will. Is he this selfish about other stuff.

Ask him what he thinks would happen without a will or to his kids if you remarried?

There used to be a poster on here called mumblechumps or something who helped with wills.

I’m sure you can make one independently of your husband to allow for your children.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/free-cheap-wills/

But in your circumstances it’s really selfish of him not to make a will.

You can make a will on your own. Sort out your power of attorney at the same time. See a solicitor.

Yes. What pp said. If he doesn't allow you to ensure you've made provision for your children then he can't be your husband. Simple as that.

You need to end your joint tenancy and change it to tenants in common in case one or both of you needs care. Even though he won't make a will you should start the process and make a fuss so he signs the relevant papers. 9

(Oh and you should have had this conversation before you were married. So please advise any friends and acquaintances to do so.)

Sever the joint tenancy - look at Land Registry website for the right form - it's dead easy and you don't need his permission. Then make a will giving him a life interest in the house, but upon him either dying or selling it your half goes to your kids.

We own the house as tenants in common, 50% each, and have a declaration of trust.

He’s being ridiculous if he genuinely thinks that making a will with clear instructions about what will happen to your assets on your death, so that your survivors don’t have to spend months or years arguing about it, means you don’t trust each other.

My aunt died three years ago and made me sole benefactor because she had no children and was NC with everyone else in the family. She had written a DIY will but it was invalid because it was missing one witness signature, so it took three years to resolve it.

Tell him he’s being selfish if he thinks it’s ok to burden his grieving survivors with the nightmare of their relative dying intestate.

Well that's easy then - you don't need him to make a joint will.

The way he is acting would actually make me doubt that he would financially take care of your children. What possible reason could he have for being so vehemently against making a will?
You need to see a solicitor

I'm not an expert, but based on having to deal with my Father's estate, if you are tenants in common, you absolutely can have your own will as it's not a joint property, it's a property split 50/50. No idea what happens in practice if it were left to your children and they wanted to sell while he was still alive though. Might be the lever to force him into doing the will!

Agree with PPs you can make a will specifying that your assets and share of joint assets pass to your children if you die first. Very selfish of him not to consider his own kids in all this, but ultimately that’s up to him. Sort yourself out as a priority!

My brother in law is a probate lawyer, and he says not having a Will creates a nightmare! All living relatives then can male a claim to your state!
The best thing you can do is go to a solicitor, explain the situation and go from there. Have a Will for yourself if nothing else! They will guide you correctly. Make sure it's a solicitor and not a Will writing company as they are not regulated.

Not only do you both need wills but also document where you have your monies lying about: bank and building society accounts, premium bonds, dormant and active pensions, life assurances , ISAs , you get the idea?

Then the execution of your wills is a 1000 times easier (and quicker) for the executors.

No idea what happens in practice if it were left to your children and they wanted to sell while he was still alive though.

We are going through this process at the moment as we are rewriting our wills.

You can make provision for the surviving spouse to remain in the property until their death as part of the will. You can also specify what would happen if the surviving spouse wants to downsize to a smaller property.

You will also protect your children’s inheritance from being used for care homes fees for the surviving spouse if you write your will leaving your half to your children. If you don’t write a will, everything is up for grabs.

If anything were to happen to either of you, the last thing anyone wants to deal with is arguing over money/property/inheritance or even deal with all the additional paperwork and headaches.

Having wills is a smart move all around.

My partner died suddenly and unexpectedly 18 months ago. We weren't married and he didn't have a will. It was hell. On top of all the grief I had to sort it out; find his children etc etc. His daughter expected me (as a pensioner) to pay for his funeral! I didn't have two pennies to rub together. It took over 12 months before all the loose ends were tied up, the irony being that I was entitled to nothing and had to sort it for the two spoiled brats that hadn't contacted him in years!

He must make a will, it's simply not fair on you if he doesn't.

My DM just died and thank god she’d written a will and told me as executor where it was. Otherwise with a family of step children it would have been an utter nightmare.

Thank you for all the advice.
I will try and talk to him again, but don't want to argue - that would ruin Christmas!
He is already really grumpy and gone to work this morning in a huff.
FFS

Why talk to him Just make the damn will yourself.