My feed

to access all these features


Christmas Gifts - AIBU?!

55 replies

Mama8474749 · 23/12/2019 07:01

Ok, so I have a large family with lots of younger cousins! Generally speaking I spend around £15 per child and I’m quite happy to do so.

My son has been gifted something that is clearly second hand and worn... am I being unreasonable in being a little unhappy about this?!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

whatsinthebagwhatcoulditbe · 23/12/2019 11:06

Or, what @Lonelykettleshed said Grin

GiveHerHellFromUs · 23/12/2019 11:07

Agreed, ask for the receipt so you can exchange!

Greyhound22 · 23/12/2019 11:07

YANBU OP but this is MN so you should be grateful for a half eaten Mars bar.

Basically they spent £15 on 9 of the 10 children and then the 10th one got a too small, worn t-shirt? Then it's clearly not on is it?

Twiggy71 · 23/12/2019 11:08

So you've spent £60 on her kids and yours got a second hand present that her child has already had the use of?
Yanbu she's a cheap cf Xmas Biscuit for her.

Redyoyo · 23/12/2019 11:10

I would just remember this next year and buy her kids something at a fiver.

Totallycluelessoverhere · 23/12/2019 11:15

With the new info YANBU. If she could afford new appropriate gifts for the other 9 children then she could for your child too. I agree with asking for the receipt or just being blunt and saying ‘I noticed you gave my son one fo your sons old T-shirt’s for his Christmas present. There are a lot of us now so maybe it would be better if we didn’t buy for each other’s children in future years so you are not under any financial pressures’.

Mama8474749 · 23/12/2019 11:16

No. Not really. It was just clothing... not anything he loves like dinosaurs or anything like that.

OP posts:
Mama8474749 · 23/12/2019 11:18

Totallycluelessoverhere thanks so much for this, I think it’s a really good idea.

I love Christmas but buying 10 presents (with more on the way) is exhausting - physically and financially!x

OP posts:
Wineislifex · 23/12/2019 11:19

I second a text asking for a receipt to exchange the gift, as it’s lovely but I think you must have picked up the wrong size by mistake ...see what the CF has to say to that!

Runnerduck34 · 23/12/2019 11:29

I think it's out of order, and would be upset too, particularly in the context of gifts for other DCs. Could you contact them and say something like thank you for the lovely gift but you must have lost track of how old DC is, I know it's hard with so.many niece's and nephews! They are now 2.5 years and sleepsuit is far too small, do you have the receipt so I can change it?

NotAClue101 · 23/12/2019 11:39

I too would ask for the receipt to swap for bigger size!
I would also be upset if all the other children had new gifts/money and mine was the only one to receive something clearly worn and the wrong size.
We had to as a family agree to no more buying for x,y,z as it was getting mental and costing a fortune!!

Lochroy · 23/12/2019 11:42

Definitely ask for the receipt to exchange it for a bigger size and see what happens, but do it face to face not by text.

That's so out of order when everyone else has something new. It's really weird.

rainbowstardrops · 23/12/2019 11:43

I'd definitely ask for the receipt and when she says she hasn't got one, I'd ask why your child was the only one to be treated differently.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 23/12/2019 11:45

With 10 children to get presents for, surely it's entirely possible they accidentally missed a gift/couldn't find what they'd bought and this was a bit of an emergency gift?

Needbettername · 23/12/2019 11:47

Just because you have always bought presents for all the kids dosnt mean it has to continue. Am sure some of the rest of the parents hate it too. Why don't you suggest a secret Santa for next year with a price of £30 or £40 so you save money and kid gets one decent thing?

TheReluctantCountess · 23/12/2019 11:48

I’d be upset too, and bloody offended!

I like the idea of asked for the receipt to change it as it’s too small Grin

Mama8474749 · 23/12/2019 11:48

@needbettername that’s a good idea too... x

OP posts:
Poetryinaction · 23/12/2019 11:52

I would be pleased. I hate the consumerism, waste, unnecessary spending. 2nd hand is sensible.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/12/2019 12:03

I’d ask for the receipt too.

Next year, I’d make it clear in January I wast dong gifts.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 23/12/2019 12:08

Really you’d be pleased to receive a jumper too small that was clearly worn (so bubbly from washing would be my guess or stained) 😂 I mean come on pull the other one, even if you hate consumerism you must see this is a shit gift. You can buy decent second hand stuff.

What is it with this place and you must be grateful for a gift even if it’s shit?? So weird

Sexnotgender · 23/12/2019 12:14

That’s a bit of a drip feed. YANBU to be upset.

Have you pissed her off and she’s trying to get back at you?

ChristmasSweet · 23/12/2019 12:17

What is it with this place and you must be grateful for a gift even if it’s shit?? So weird

Not just weird, it's flat out lying. I'm betting they've all requested the latest phone, new ipad, new watch, jewellery, perfume, handbags etc. And will also have no doubt name changed or will name change to complain if they don't get one of the above. Grin When people make up bizarre claims like that, take it with a pinch of salt and reverse the claim as its closer to the truth.

OP she sounds like she has a grudge against you or the child. Has anything happened between you both? Are you perhaps a SIL to her and not a blood relative? I'd outright ask her why she thought a gift that is too small and is in bad condition was OK. I'd ask for the receipt to take it back to the shop and exchange for something the actual size and in better condition.

Mama8474749 · 23/12/2019 12:28

@christmassweet I don’t think I’ve done anything to offend or upset her?!

We are blood relatives, two of her children are my blood relatives and two are not but that hasn’t stopped me giving each child a gift?

OP posts:
Yesterdayallmyfish · 23/12/2019 12:32

I would want you to tell me about your disappointment and how it made you upset. I would also never buy you or your children a gift again. Problem solved. No more upsetting you with my shit gifts.

ChristmasSweet · 23/12/2019 12:48

That's even weirder then. As she is your sister though, you should ask her what's wrong. Might be something you aren't aware of.

Yesterdayallmyfish I wouldn't want a present from you if you thought an overworn, wrong size jumper was the correct gift for me. It shows lack of care and thinking. If that's how you do your shopping, just wandering around picking anything and not caring about quality or whether someone will like it, maybe you should stop buying shit gifts. It's a waste of your money and time. Hmm

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.