Christmas Gifts - AIBU?!

[Mama8474749]

Ok, so I have a large family with lots of younger cousins! Generally speaking I spend around £15 per child and I’m quite happy to do so.

My son has been gifted something that is clearly second hand and worn... am I being unreasonable in being a little unhappy about this?!

[GertiMJN]

That's weird.
Like pps I wonder if she overlooked one child (your ds).

Or could this have been intended for someone else and the gifts got muddled..

If the gifts for your other children were on par with those given to other children in the family it seems odd to think it's a deliberate act towards you.

[Totallycluelessoverhere]

Those posters saying that OP is being u grateful...the relative bought new and presumably appropriate gifts for all of the other 9 children. If it was an affordability issue she could have spent £1 less on each of the other children and therefore been able to afford a new gift for OPs child. OP spent £60 on the relatives 4 children! I’m not eh sort of person who gives to receive or expects the same amount to be spent as what I spend but it sounds like this family had a gift giving arrangement and had planned to meet up and exchange gifts as a group. To treat one child so differently to the others is plain wrong. Something needs to be said and things need to be done differently in future years.

[winterisstillcoming]

My SIL did something last year. She gave me a set of pyjamas last year, wrong size, longer length when I have 5'2. Also, I didn't receive them until after Xmas. Suspected it was a regift or sale item so just gave it back to her in form of my husband and hers and said if you can swap it for something else that I can wear, I'd be grateful otherwise keep them for yourself as they look as though they might fit you.

Give it back.

[RicStar]

I think she forgot your ds - panicked and wrapped up something to hand. I would definitely suggest you dont keep doing this year after year with a growing pool of children - either get a family gift or just do a trip / meal together depending on age of children.

[ChristmasSweet]

Mama8474749 ignore the sister part sorry not sure where I got that from. But still you are relatives, speak to her.

[ChristmasSweet]

That's even weirder then. As she is your sister though, you should ask her what's wrong. Might be something you aren't aware of.

Yesterdayallmyfish I wouldn't want a present from you if you thought an overworn, wrong size jumper was the correct gift for me. It shows lack of care and thinking. If that's how you do your shopping, just wandering around picking anything and not caring about quality or whether someone will like it, maybe you should stop buying shit gifts. It's a waste of your money and time.

[Yesterdayallmyfish]

I would want you to tell me about your disappointment and how it made you upset. I would also never buy you or your children a gift again. Problem solved. No more upsetting you with my shit gifts.

[Mama8474749]

@christmassweet I don’t think I’ve done anything to offend or upset her?!

We are blood relatives, two of her children are my blood relatives and two are not but that hasn’t stopped me giving each child a gift?

[ChristmasSweet]

What is it with this place and you must be grateful for a gift even if it’s shit?? So weird

Not just weird, it's flat out lying. I'm betting they've all requested the latest phone, new ipad, new watch, jewellery, perfume, handbags etc. And will also have no doubt name changed or will name change to complain if they don't get one of the above. When people make up bizarre claims like that, take it with a pinch of salt and reverse the claim as its closer to the truth.

OP she sounds like she has a grudge against you or the child. Has anything happened between you both? Are you perhaps a SIL to her and not a blood relative? I'd outright ask her why she thought a gift that is too small and is in bad condition was OK. I'd ask for the receipt to take it back to the shop and exchange for something the actual size and in better condition.

[Sexnotgender]

That’s a bit of a drip feed. YANBU to be upset.

Have you pissed her off and she’s trying to get back at you?

[P1nkHeartLovesCake]

Really you’d be pleased to receive a jumper too small that was clearly worn (so bubbly from washing would be my guess or stained) 😂 I mean come on pull the other one, even if you hate consumerism you must see this is a shit gift. You can buy decent second hand stuff.

What is it with this place and you must be grateful for a gift even if it’s shit?? So weird

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

I’d ask for the receipt too.

Next year, I’d make it clear in January I wast dong gifts.

[Poetryinaction]

I would be pleased. I hate the consumerism, waste, unnecessary spending. 2nd hand is sensible.

[Mama8474749]

@needbettername that’s a good idea too... x

[TheReluctantCountess]

I’d be upset too, and bloody offended!

I like the idea of asked for the receipt to change it as it’s too small

[Needbettername]

Just because you have always bought presents for all the kids dosnt mean it has to continue. Am sure some of the rest of the parents hate it too. Why don't you suggest a secret Santa for next year with a price of £30 or £40 so you save money and kid gets one decent thing?

[WhatWouldTheDoctorDo]

With 10 children to get presents for, surely it's entirely possible they accidentally missed a gift/couldn't find what they'd bought and this was a bit of an emergency gift?

[rainbowstardrops]

I'd definitely ask for the receipt and when she says she hasn't got one, I'd ask why your child was the only one to be treated differently.

[Lochroy]

Definitely ask for the receipt to exchange it for a bigger size and see what happens, but do it face to face not by text.

That's so out of order when everyone else has something new. It's really weird.

[NotAClue101]

I too would ask for the receipt to swap for bigger size!
I would also be upset if all the other children had new gifts/money and mine was the only one to receive something clearly worn and the wrong size.
We had to as a family agree to no more buying for x,y,z as it was getting mental and costing a fortune!!

[Runnerduck34]

I think it's out of order, and would be upset too, particularly in the context of gifts for other DCs. Could you contact them and say something like thank you for the lovely gift but you must have lost track of how old DC is, I know it's hard with so.many niece's and nephews! They are now 2.5 years and sleepsuit is far too small, do you have the receipt so I can change it?

[Wineislifex]

I second a text asking for a receipt to exchange the gift, as it’s lovely but I think you must have picked up the wrong size by mistake ...see what the CF has to say to that!

[Mama8474749]

Totallycluelessoverhere thanks so much for this, I think it’s a really good idea.

I love Christmas but buying 10 presents (with more on the way) is exhausting - physically and financially!x

[Mama8474749]

No. Not really. It was just clothing... not anything he loves like dinosaurs or anything like that.

[Totallycluelessoverhere]

With the new info YANBU. If she could afford new appropriate gifts for the other 9 children then she could for your child too. I agree with asking for the receipt or just being blunt and saying ‘I noticed you gave my son one fo your sons old T-shirt’s for his Christmas present. There are a lot of us now so maybe it would be better if we didn’t buy for each other’s children in future years so you are not under any financial pressures’.