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AIBU?

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Original poster

Think I was spiked?

71 replies

jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:13

Hi. Really upset and feeling guilty. I have no idea what happened last night. I went out for drinks but only had a few cocktails which is really not enough to get me really really drunk. However I was completely out of it. I don’t know anything that happened and all I remember is this morning my flat mate was shouting at a male friend to get out of my bed and I was naked(???) but he wasn’t? I’m in a relationship and feel like I’ve cheated but I literally have no idea or recollection of what happened so don’t know if anything did. I’m so confused and upset and don’t know what to do and whether to tell my boyfriend or not because I really don’t think I put myself in that position, the friend is 100% not someone I’m attracted to etc and I’m very happy in my relationship? So upset

OP posts:
brighteyeowl17 · 22/12/2019 17:16

So sorry if that’s the case it’s an awful situation. Happened to me in Spain once, had a couple of drinks and remembered nothing.

bluesteakandcheese · 22/12/2019 17:16

@jinglebells83646 please don't blame yourself for this - all you wanted was to go out, let your hair down and have a good night. I 100% think you were spike and you probably should tell your boyfriend. You might want to go and get checked out at the doctors too (I'm sure you'll be fine but you need to be sure). You have done nothing wrong, you are innocent in all this.
Really hope you're ok x

Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:19

Literally I’m just so upset because i feel like I’ve done this and I love my boyfriend to pieces, I feel like ending the relationship right now because I feel like I’ve betrayed him. Also if I’ve been spiked would a sign be a horrendous hangover? I have literally been shaking all day and I don’t see how a few cocktails can do that. Don’t even remember how I got home I’m so so scared that i was flirting back?? I have no idea

OP posts:
sarahC40 · 22/12/2019 17:19

Sorry you're struggling op. I don't have experienced this but This is what I found on the nhs website: Report it to the police as soon as you can. They may ask you to provide blood and urine samples.

Most drugs leave the body within 72 hours of being taken (the date rape drug GHB leaves the body within 12 hours), so it's important to be tested as soon as possible.

What did the man who was in bed with you have to say when he got thrown out? Are you feeling unwell? Do you know where you went or how you got home? I really hope you've got someone kind with you.

Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:20

He just left didn’t say much but then today messaged me saying not to mention last night to anyone so I’m freaking out thinking like what if I was actually voluntarily getting with him? I feel sick to think that I would have

OP posts:
Kko1986 · 22/12/2019 17:20

Hi op, u are shaken can you speak with anyone you went out with to piece the night together?

Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:22

@Kko1986 no the girl I went out with disappeared at some point, no idea when but I can’t rememver being with her after the second bar

OP posts:
Interestedwoman · 22/12/2019 17:23

I don't think you were spiked, with most people who think they've been spiked it's purely alcohol. Cocktails can be very strong, and unless you memorise the contents, you don't necessarily know how strong they are. The impact can also vary depending on what you've eaten or any medication you're on.

The bloke that got in your bed is dodgy though. I wouldn't be alone with him- he sort of tried to take/took advantage a bit.

I wouldn't tell your boyfriend, sounds like the bloke just sneaked in your bed, probably too pissed to do much as he stayed clothed (which isn't to excuse him- just to reassure you that probably not much happened.)

So sorry you had this happen. Hugs xxxxx

AltheaVestr1t · 22/12/2019 17:24

You poor thing. This happened to a friend of mine. Went missing in a club for half an hour and was incoherent when found. We spent the night in the hospital. You’ve done nothing wrong. As other posters have said, you should call the police.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 22/12/2019 17:24

I think you need to speak to the police my love. I'm sorry this has happened. It's not your fault.

Keepmewarm · 22/12/2019 17:24

Are you not concerned about your friend?
Get tested op.

Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:25

The cocktails had 50ml of alcohol in - 25vodka/25passoa each (used to work in that bar a few months ago). That can’t be enough to make me blackout drunk can it? @Interestedwoman :( I feel so sick at myself

OP posts:
Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:26

@Keepmewarm no she’s fine she messaged saying she got home safe and I just didn’t tell her what had happened until later

If I’d had sex with him I would surely know right? Like I’m pretty sure nothing like that happened my flat mate said he was just sitting there fully clothed and I was naked??

OP posts:
puds11 · 22/12/2019 17:27

Why does he not want to tell anyone? Was he there when you were potentially spikes? Could he have spiked you?

73Sunglasslover · 22/12/2019 17:27

I'm so sorry this happened to you. My drink was spiked a few years ago and I ended up in A&E. The symptoms suggested E or something similar. I have never taken that and had drank quite a lot too. I was behaving weirdly and sooooo thirsty. It's a horrible invasion and abuse even if you don't end up in bed with someone and not know what happened. So much worse. Do you want to report this to the police? Do you have any idea who might have spiked the drink? Might it have been the person you ended up with? I also had a 'hangover' like I've never had before. I think that might be an indication. I don't think this is cheating on your BF as you were not in a place to be making decisions - it seems that things were being done to you. Do you think your BF might be supportive?

Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:28

@puds11 no idea at all I don’t really know where I was when I switched from like tipsy to blackout drunk I seriously can’t remember much details which is why I’m so worried because I would be heartbroken if I’d actually cheated on my boyfriend voluntarily

OP posts:
Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:29

Don’t really want to get the police involved because I don’t know what happened at all and don’t know if it was even him who spiked my drink or if it was someone else etc so just seems pointless

OP posts:
SmellMySmellbow · 22/12/2019 17:35

He is no mate of yours. Say it was just drink but you were drunk enough after 2 cocktails to forget further drinks which led to memory loss. You were out of it. What the fuck was he doing in your bedroom with you naked? He was either taking advantage of you in a state where you were unable to consent, or being a voyeur at the very least. A friend would not let you get naked if his intentions were good. He would have called your flatmate to help if you were that inebriated and insisting on stripping off. No matter which way you cut it, in the best case scenario his behaviour is disgusting.

Original poster
jinglebells83646 · 22/12/2019 17:38

@smellmysmellbow totally agree I just feel so embarrassed by it all

OP posts:
coffeeoclock · 22/12/2019 17:43

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this OP, whether you were spiked or not it sounds like you were taken advantage of which is NOT okay and NOT your fault. I would suggest taking a wee sample to the police or doctors maybe tomorrow? Not sure how they test for certain drugs though.

puds11 · 22/12/2019 17:43

I’d be very concerned by the fact he took you home and stayed when you must have clearly been quite shit faced, then asked you not to say anything. That sounds like he feels guilty about something. Perhaps not spiking but definitely taking advantage of the situation. Have you spoken to anyone you were out with?

sandytoes84 · 22/12/2019 17:48

OP please don’t be embarrassed or feel guilty about this - spiked or not you were blacked out and your ‘friend’ has clearly taken advantage.

My drink was spiked some years ago and the only way I knew nothing had happened to me was that a taxi driver I knew took me home and I was wearing a tampon which was still there the next day.

I would call 101 and explain your situation, they will be able to offer advice and arrange for help/tests.

This absolutely isn’t your fault.

Yetanotherwinter · 22/12/2019 17:48

Are you suspecting that you’ve been sexually assaulted. You need to report it to the Police immediately. Keep your clothes, underwear and the bedding. If you don’t want to report it to the Police you can make an appointment at your nearest SAFE centre to be examined and any forensic evidence gathered. This would include taking blood for testing to establish if you have been spiked. If you do that you have the evidence kept safe and you can report at a later date if you decide to. Ideally though it needs reporting to the Police. Hope you’re ok. Not a nice thing to happen.

Patroclus · 22/12/2019 17:49

Does anybody know, would it be best to piss in a bottle now before any potential stuff is out of the system and would it stay there so OP could take it to be checked in their own time?

This guy sounds dodgy AF. Even if you did stff wit hi it wasnt voluntary. WHat wa the actual sequence of events as much as you remember?

puds11 · 22/12/2019 17:50

Can you go to hospital to get tested?

Please don’t blame yourself.