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Have you ever had every Xmas day a perfect one or even just ONE ?

80 replies

Daffodil55 · 22/12/2019 12:22

It is rather sad to read all the threads about stressful Xmas days and meals etc. plus the gift giving and receiving which is far from wonderful.The relatives we invite or attend their homes because we don't want to offend but all the while knowing we will be looking forward to the time to put coats on and say goodbye etc. etc.

I could drone on but will not but this is to ask has anyone had the perfect Xmas day with company they adore, without a single moan or gripe? Has anyone EVER had a bad Xmas day/Boxing day? Or are some lucky souls here blessed with only blissful memories of unrivalled pleasure and chocolate box type days?

This is a serious question and no other agendas here. I have not had any horrendous Xmasses but a few which had I known how they would be I may have said sorry I can not make it.

On 25th I was planning to be all alone and just wallow in the peace and quiet, pure selfish indulgence re television and food choices and as much of all that as I wanted. I have been invited somewhere I have not had a Xmas before and it is a family member and her partner, along with one other relative. I can not see how it could possibly be anything other than lovely (no small children around as in the past I have been exhausted by the monopoly they force on the room) so I am very much tempted to say yes.

I had my fair share of noisy Xmasses with frizzy hair and flushed face due to the time spent in the steamy kitchen and have yet to possess a memory of the ideal.... dressed in sparkle and sipping cocktails while everything just miraculously appears served hot and displayed to perfection.

It is time for me now, selfless for years but now enjoying a tiny bit of selfish.

OP posts:
MerryChristmasUfilthyanimal · 22/12/2019 12:53

I can honestly say without any hesitation that every one of my Christmas have been perfect.
I've loved them all. Some have been messy and busy and noisy but that's added to the joy.

But we don't fixate on how to make it perfect. Our base line is happy children. So if that's accomplished we're happy. We don't need an instagram perfect moment just being together. And fat. Got to stuff ourselves.

Daffodil55 · 22/12/2019 12:56

How nice to read of one person who has no regrets or bad memories of Xmas times. I hope this one is no exception!

OP posts:
Fr0g · 22/12/2019 12:57

the Christmas I stayed at home on my own, cooked a lovely lunch, went for a long walk by the thames & caught up on my sleep was pretty good.

megletthesecond · 22/12/2019 12:58

Nothing since I was a child.
In fact, they're getting worse Hmm.

Astella22 · 22/12/2019 13:01

I’ve only had 2 non perfect Christmas’s
Some were slightly stressful, thinking of last year when I hosted, but everyone was great and everyone was fed by the end.
My mother’s love of Xmas has rubbed off on me

bridgetreilly · 22/12/2019 13:01

Well, the one where my mother burst into the sitting room after lunch brandishing a knife and threatening us all was not perfect, no. Also the one where my grandmother died was not precisely perfect, either. And the one where I cried for three hours going home on the train afterwards because my mother decided to tell me that she was leaving my father just before I went. She didn't. She is something of a drama queen, it turns out, especially at Christmas.

DramaAlpaca · 22/12/2019 13:03

Last year's was really lovely. Just the five of us & not a cross word all day.

I've had some horrors in the past though, always involving either my parents or my in-laws, so nowadays we keep it to just me, DH & our three adult DC.

This year's is going to be a bit different as DS1 is working, but we'll make the most of it when he gets home. I am very grateful that the three of them are still choosing to be home for Christmas.

Celebelly · 22/12/2019 13:04

I've never had a bad Christmas Day! They've all been lovely. I have a very small, laid back family so there's never been any pressure, no family politics, just people enjoying spending time together. I'm very grateful for that when reading threads on here.

nokidshere · 22/12/2019 13:07

I don't really remember what Christmas was like as a child. I imagine lots of siblings meant noisy and messy but I don't recall any bad ones. As a single adult Christmas was spent drinking, eating and partying with friends, no dramas there.

For the past 21 yrs Christmas has been bliss. Just the 4 of us, pressies, food, drink, games for 48hrs. We have never been away for Christmas since having children and no-one comes to us on Christmas Day. We don't cook a Christmas dinner, we graze on luxury food and chocolate. Christmas is our quiet time from a busy life.

So in 58 years no, I don't have any regrets or bad memories of Christmas ever.

MysweetAudrina · 22/12/2019 13:10

I always have a lovely xmas day. I host and sometimes it can be tiring but I use the says after to relax Never any drama and everyone is in good form for the day.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 22/12/2019 13:11

What’s perfect? That means different things to all of us.

I have mainly happy memories of Christmas except the one over 20 years ago when my Mum admitted to hospital. She died a few days later.

That does taint Christmas now for me, as it should be a time to spend with family and loved ones and it highlights that she’s not with us, never met my DH or DC but Christmas is predominately a happy time.

I don’t get caught up in making the house like a grotto, spending hours cooking up special stuff to eat that the dc might not enjoy, or having magazine matching outfits. My standards and expectations are low so it’s hard to feel that we’ve not lived up to them. I think that helps it to be a relaxed and happy few days.

scaryteacher · 22/12/2019 13:14

When it's just me, dh, ds and the cats. No imperative to cook for a certain time, no need to go to church, no need to dress up for dinner...afternoon snooze allowed. Every second year normally. Ds will eventually leave home (he's 24), so am enjoying those Christmasses until he chooses not to be with us.

highheelsandweathercocks · 22/12/2019 13:18

I suppose it depends on your definition of perfect. For us, the last three have been perfect for us. We keep it lazy. We eat a lot, build a lot of Lego and watch Christmas TV.

I've had some crappy ones. One involved falling out with my mother over her boyfriends inability to leave the pub in time for dinner (he eventually rolled back in the small hours and passed out on the kitchen floor). On Christmas Day we waited to eat before eventually giving up on him coming in. It was subdued. As he graced us with his presence on Boxing Day, my mother decided to recreate Christmas Day. Full roast, crackers, the works. Then tried to photograph the happy family occasion. It was sad to see but I couldn't go along with it. We'd had our Christmas. He missed it. And spoiled it too.

Another year I was at my ILs. I've been veggie for years. My family have always found me a fab alternative for Christmas dinner. That year I was fed McCain's microwave chips and a microwave veggie lasagne. It upset me as it just seemed lazy and thoughtless (I'd eaten there a lot and been with DH for about 10 years at that point).

We have small children. We feel that as long as they're happy, we're happy.

Queenunikitty · 22/12/2019 13:34

My Christmas baby would have been 10 this year. Ever since that Christmas we have kept ourselves to ourselves and just been thankful for what we do have. I have never bought into the ‘perfect’ Christmas - even before, people put too much pressure on themselves I think.

DarkerShrimpVase · 22/12/2019 13:36

I’ve enjoyed most of my Christmases, save the few where someone was ill or in hospital. But I’ve hosted/organised since I was 15, and just once I’d love to go to someone else and get waited on. Not really, though, I’m grateful my lot still want to spend the holidays with me.

Northernsoullover · 22/12/2019 13:40

I've always had really lovely Christmases. We don't fuss over it though. Its all about the dinner in our house. I have a really small family too so no pressure to visit people.

AlpacaGoodnight · 22/12/2019 13:46

Up until now I've only had lovely Christmas days! There is no 'perfect' in my head but I have lovely memories of each and every one! Really looking forward to this year too

Quizeerascal · 22/12/2019 13:54

Christmas for me is about celebrating Jesus' birth and I've always felt the joy of that on Christmas day. Time with family, friends, the chance for rest, good food and the giving and receiving of gifts also bring me happiness at Christmas. Christmas day has sometimes come in the middle of difficult seasons eg illness, family members facing major health difficulties, stressful work situations etc but I would say that I've never had a Christmas day which was joyless.

ncge · 22/12/2019 13:55

Yes, look back on them all fondly for one reason or another .

Absolute best Christmases were at my grandparents house in the early 90s ... they had huge parties of 70 odd people and children, photos of everyone taken in the lounge, buffets, pass the parcel with sweets stuffed in every wrapper ... it took us hours to finish every time as the parcel was huge .

I don’t remember Christmas dinner, vaguely remember the presents but remember putting a mince pie out for Santa with my grandparents, and that wonderful feeling when you’re so excited that you’re shivering.

Another being the Christmas after my dad had left, mum very very much struggling to keep it together ... 7pm Christmas Eve social workers turned up with two car loads of presents and food . Still have the photos of it all somewhere .

It’s a different feeling as an adult, only three of us ... can be very stressful in the run up especially ... but it’s equally wonderful, even if the only wonderful is sitting down to see call the midwife with g&t and a nice biscuit !!

Gatehouse77 · 22/12/2019 14:00

We've had some that we've really enjoyed, some that have been okay and some have been naff but only two truly awful ones (and I'm not sure how much the kids were aware, the first one they were too young to remember).

Overall, I'd say we all have good memories of our Christmases. Never had any major arguments or tragedies.

danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 22/12/2019 14:02

I think this one will be a bad one. For the 1st time ever DD will not be home at all over Christmas, in fact I won't be seeing her until the 2nd week in January...I'm going to miss her.

olivehater · 22/12/2019 14:02

Since having kids they have been pretty nice. Generally with either mine or dhs side alternately and one set of parents and corresponding siblings and cousins each time so lots of fun with the kids. I have hosted a couple of times and find it full on but manageable. One time everyone was ill and went home as soon as they had finished which, as I was the host, left me feeling deflated but other than that they have been lovely.

HugeAckmansWife · 22/12/2019 14:05

Pre kids I had a brilliant one with my then partner, another couple and a really good friend. No early start, champagne for brunch, funny gifts, sociable cooking and eating and not being in the 'child' role at my parents. Being purely among adult friends was fab. My parents are lovely and I now spend most Xmas's with them and my kids which has its moments but in terms of pure selfish enjoyment, it would have yo be the friends one.

GlitteryGracie · 22/12/2019 14:09

I don't know about perfect, not sure that exists but our family Christmases are lovely. Fun and harmonious. Most years we have every age group from toddler, to teen, young adults, middle aged up to 90 years old and somehow we all get on, enjoy each other's company and laugh a lot. In the last ten years the only blip I can think of is a tense moment when the four year old was making too much noise for the 90 year old to hear the queen's speech. It was soon resolved. We do a secret Santa where everybody gets one gift they really like and that's it, so no stress there. I consider myself really lucky especially when I read some of the threads in here.

lazylinguist · 22/12/2019 14:11

I always enjoy Christmas. We've had a few hiccups- ds broke his leg on Christmas Eve two years ago, someone's often got a rotten cold or an ear infection or something. But we still have a lovely time. Our families all get on really well. No stress, no awkwardness. Just good food, good company and lots of fun.

The least good one was last year, because we decided to have Christmas Day with just the 4 of us for the first (and last!) time. It was fine, but a bit of an anticlimax. Back to spending Christmas with extended family this year.

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