AIBU to be pissed off with friend?

[Lavender55555]

I’m unsure whether I’m being trivial, so I’d just like some perspective please?

I won’t name names but we’ll call said person Jane. Myself and Jane went to a well known supermarket to do our shopping a few nights ago and shared the same trolley for convenience. After shopping we went to the self service check out to pay for our items. I paid for mine and I believed she was paying for hers on the till next to mine. It wasn’t until we left that she admitted she hadn’t paid for her shopping, rather just walked out. She said it’s something she does regularly. I was upset by her blatant admission and clear recklessness. Not only because I had my tiny baby with me whose only 8 weeks old, but because common sense says that if you’re caught stealing it can have further consequence. Jane works with vulnerable people and I’d hate for it to impact her life. She didn’t care and said she does it all the time. I tried to explain but she wasn’t interested.

What upset me most is that she used my shopping to cover hers before walking out. Which I knew nothing about. It’s the obvious deception, and the fact I had my tiny baby with me. I’d be mortified to be caught up in something I knew nothing about.

AIBU to be pissed off?

I had a friend who would sometimes shoplift when we were grocery shopping too, not to this extent though. For example, she would place alcohol in her basket, but was never ID’d and the till never asked for staff approval, so she never scanned or paid for the alcohol....

I just had to cut her off gradually as it left a bad taste in my mouth.

@Lavender55555 I have been in your position. I was in a supermarket with some other females when I noticed that they were shoplifting. I was horrified and was not sure what to do. In the end I just wandered off picked up my groceries and paid for them and waited outside at my car. It was awful because I thought I might be used as an excuse for their "forgetfulness" as I am older and disabled.
I have never gone to any shop with any of those people again

@knifeangel

It is

I went shopping once with a friend who stole something. We're weren't besties. I didn't raise it, she may have had some struggle, who knows, but I did back away from the friendship.

It IS theft, it DOES matter, we ALL pay for it by supermarket prices that have to cover it. I hate this attitude. It is NOT fun, or clever, it's immoral.

I would tell her in no uncertain terms that you are apalled and will not be friends with a thief.

Monstranceclock

If you don't think stealing is a big deal could you post your address here? I fancy a TV, iPad and phone but can't be arsed paying for them. Just leave the door unlocked. I'll be in and out on no time.

It's an awful thing to do to a friend. She's used you as a patsy, mafia-style. Yes, you're both on camera on the rob.

Do you have other friends? I'd want to cut her out but I can imagine that is hard if you will be left friendless.

I dumped a friend for various reasons but one of them was her habit of not paying for odd things if she thought she could get away with it. I certainly wouldn't want to know someone who did this.

I'd like to say I'd tell her that I couldn't be friends with her any more because she's a thief. In real life, though, I'm completely averse to any kind of confrontation, so I'd just ghost her. I certainly wouldn't have anything more to do with her.

In a perverse way, I am in awe of her brass.

I couldn't waste energy being angry about this. But rather would say a firm "I'm never shopping with you again" and keep to it.

Does she run out of cafes without paying for her drink & food, too? Mind boggles.

I'd definitely be upset and annoyed.
All made worse by the fact I had my child with me. I'd be worried about going to the supermarket again- even without her.
I wouldn't trust her and would distance myself.

It's not only clothes that have tags.

One of my former workmates told me that it's really easy to nick birthday cards, because they don't weigh much. You buy 3, scan one, pop it on the scales and it doesn't register as 3 items. I was gobsmacked that she was bragging about this as if it was a talent she had.

To be honest, I'd really rather not receive a birthday card if it was stolen - plus you can get perfectly nice ones in Card Factory for 29p.

She's a thief. Think I'd have to bin her off as a friend.

What a cheeky cow, her cover was that it was your shopping if they pulled you! She would have said she thought you were going to pay for the goods she was placing in the trolley and that using the second machine was to make it quicker and to help you. She told you after in case they came after you both in the hope that you would go along with her excuses as though a misunderstanding and she was gloating too and trying to make you think it was an ok thing to do and to make out she does it alone a lot was to try deflect that she was using you and pretent it was incidental you being there! That type of selfish user will always do what they want and will never care about impact on you. Im sorry that you have been treated this way. Oh and the best wind up and way to show true colours is to pretend you want a share of money or half her spoils and a contribution to your bill, travel if u drove her. She will then dump you and if u want to truly get her to avoid you then pretend you have been pulled by store x

I had a friend a few years back who used to do this. She also would go to places like b&q and switch the barcode stickers from the expensive laura Ashley wallpaper she wanted for cheap b&q own brand paper.
The worst thing was she was much, much wealthier than me with a flash car, a brilliant high flying career etc. Absolutely no need whatsoever to steal, so it must've purely been for the thrill of it

She thinks they don't notice. If she shops anywhere frequently, they know. She will be caught. They will be monitoring her.

That'd be the end of it for me. She had literally told you that she doesn't care if you were separated from your baby. She's an evil bitch.

I wouldn't be surprised if the Fail got hold of this one.

It would be the end of the friendship for me.

If this was a good longstanding friend who was having a breakdown or mental health crisis that involved shoplifting (and they weren't a person who had previously habitually stolen) then I would stick by them but NEVER go shopping together.

If she just doesn't care and does this purely because she can then that would be the end of the friendship for me.

Actually I could not be friends with someone like this. My friends have similar values and beliefs as me.

I once dropped a friend who actually befriended the wife of whom she was having an affair with. The final straw was when she moved into their home 😮. The wife didn’t suspect a thing! This woman also worked with the vulnerable. Charlatan she was.

But then, I don’t think stealing is as big a deal as mn makes it out to be.

MonstranceClock. So if something of yours was stolen you’d be laid back would you?

I had a "friend" do a very similar thing: she stole several rings from a street vendor as I was trying on and actually buying one). Being young and very, very foolish, I maintained our friendship for many years but eventually I came to my senses. She was a constant user, and a bitch, who really only cared about herself. I suspect your friend is the same. Learn from my experience and dump her now - she will only bring you heartache and could get you in serious trouble.

Our local Lidl's took the self service checkouts away because so many people were stealing