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AIBU?

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Original poster

child-hating woman in Tate Modern

193 replies

bellawilliams · 24/08/2007 22:45

I went to the Tate Modern this afternoon with a friend as we had heard they were running special family activities - and they were, and the staff were lovely and very helpful. Between us we had 5 children: two 4 year olds, a 2 year old and 2 babies. We were directed to a room in the gallery where the older children could look at the pictures and make their own collage with stickers all supplied by the gallery. While we were in there (and the older children were quietly getting on with the activity) my friend had to run outside and one of the babies started crying so I went to get out her bottle. In the ensuing few seconds of noise a hateful woman approached me and aggressively told me that 'this is not a kindergarten, this is a gallery - you can't have screaming children in here!" I was incensed but managed to keep my cool and explained that we were here as part of a Tate organised family activity. She kept on and said it should not be allowed so I asked her 'Do you think children should not be allowed to look at art?" and she said no!!! So I said very sarcastically 'What a LOVELY attitude' and proceeded to tell my friend very loudly what had happened. I am still furious!! Anyone else had such a reaction?????

OP posts:
dabdab · 24/08/2007 22:50

Nope, defintely YANBU. What planet was she from?

McEdam · 24/08/2007 22:51

What a stupid woman. Well done for being so restrained.

roisin · 24/08/2007 22:55

Maybe she had scrounged together some childcare and was having some special adult time for herself ...?!

I must admit when I have childfree-time I am very intolerant of other people's children.

It wasn't me though

southeastastra · 24/08/2007 22:55

you have to keep a close eye and supervise your own children in these sort of activities

Blu · 24/08/2007 22:57

Oh dear - how horrible.
Smile sweetly and direct her to the Information desk to make her complaint...
Obviously an unhappy woman who has allowed herself to become unkind and intolerant.

We took DS as a small baby to the Turner Shortlist exhibition at tate britain the year the 'lights on / lights off' installaion was in. He was in a sling with Ds makin baby-ish 'aaah...eh...aaaaah' noises non-stop as everyone wa walking around very quietly, very reverently - you know, that art gallery silence - and suddenly a man was nose to nose with DP, doing a double take saying 'OH! It's your baby! I thought it was the sound installation

Kathyis6incheshigh · 24/08/2007 22:58

Sounds like you were stopping her communing properly with the art . Some modern art lovers are very up themselves. (Not all, just some.)

Jenkeylovesdazzy · 24/08/2007 22:59

no yanbu unreasonable - it's the school hols, there are children everywhere, children need to be exposed to art and culture and children do make noise sometimes - can't get over that whole you can't apreciate culture unless you're silent thing - my dd's always make noise at the library and I can see other people twitching!

Easywriter · 24/08/2007 23:00

Blimey! You lot could be mediators between America and Iraq.

Babies cry, she was a tw*t!

I take this evil old witch was never a child herself!!

Grrrr!!

southeastastra · 24/08/2007 23:01

art galleries aren't really places for the majority of children though

professorplum · 24/08/2007 23:04

Southeastastra-was it you?

It was a family activity. Thats why bella went. She didn't go to spite the sophisticated people.

Easywriter · 24/08/2007 23:04

Why not?

Unless somewhere has a sign saying no children then I assume it's OK for humans, my children being humans, it's ok for them to be there too. (I'm not having a go at you southeastastra, more this persistant view that we seem to suffer from paticularly in England of children being seen and not heard).

How do kids learn about art, music, books culture? And how do they learn appropriate behaviour in such places if they aren't exposed to them?

gess · 24/08/2007 23:05

PMSL Blu - thats hilarious. I hope you taped him and sold it for a fortune

Sill woman- tell her not to come on family days.

Original poster
bellawilliams · 24/08/2007 23:06

It sounds horrible to say it but she was clearly NOT a mother and was in her late 30s so perhaps bitter in one way or another. She even had headphones on doing the gallery narration - so can't have been THAT bothered by a bit of wailing!!!

OP posts:
KerryMumbledore · 24/08/2007 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jenkeylovesdazzy · 24/08/2007 23:10

Art galleries and concert halls and museums should be places for children. do want to bring up a nation of dumb kids who only frequent wacky warehouse type places? let them make noise and be children.

southeastastra · 24/08/2007 23:13

yes but the op said they had to run out to deal with crying babies

any why would parents think an art gallery is a good place for under 5s?

professorplum · 24/08/2007 23:17

Maybe she was only in London for the day. When you don't live there you can get ridiculously excited about going to see something and you don't want anything to spoil it. I am going to see the terracotta warrior exhibition at the british museum and I can hardly sleep with the excitment. I'm not going until Feb. She should have pursed her lips and walked away instead of attacking you though.

Original poster
bellawilliams · 24/08/2007 23:18

The reason we thought it would be a good idea is because it had activities for children listed on it's website and the staff there had all sorts of things to do for children under 5. If the Tate Modern's website had made it clear that kids weren't wanted do you think we would have gone? We were deliberately looking for something for them to do, not for us. It was a great introduction for the 4 year olds to looking at art and thinking about what it looked like to them. What are we supposed to do with the younger siblings - put them in a locker while we were there???

OP posts:
Kathyis6incheshigh · 24/08/2007 23:20

Because as soon as a child is old enough to look at pictures and be interested in them, an art gallery can be a good place for them.

And because many museums and galleries are trying hard to attract children because they have falling visitor numbers and research has shown that people who get taken when they are young are likely to keep going for the rest of their lives. And getting people who don't normally go to bring their children is a good way to get them in.

There simply aren't enough visitors like the OP's child-hating woman to make catering only to them a viable proposition.

southeastastra · 24/08/2007 23:21

lol no! but be by their side when they're there. not rush off to deal with babies

southeastastra · 24/08/2007 23:22

children under 10 aren't interested in art galleries fgs!!

they're interested in creating their own art

juuule · 24/08/2007 23:22

Silly intolerant woman
"Art galleries aren't really for children" What?! Why not? Let them see things from a young age and maybe they will grow up to see these things as old friends instead of seeing them when they are older and thinking they are not really for them.

expatinscotland · 24/08/2007 23:22

Children are demonised here.

I think it's behind many of the societal problems emerging here.

They're seen as evil and feral and a PITA and something to be afraid of.

It's sad, really.

KerryMumbledore · 24/08/2007 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juuule · 24/08/2007 23:22

My children were and some of them were under 10. They were fascinated.