To be convinced this isn't autism

[Confusedmum1511]

My DS is 5 and has always had a limbo of ASD or not. I want out of the system and he has some assessments coming up I want to be confident cancelling.

Bits do fit:

Dislikes change
Routine driven
Sensory issues
Poor imaginative play
Prefers adult company to peer company
Prone to meltdowns which are horrendously violent

But things that don't fit make me think ASD must be ruled otu:

Recognises emotions such as happy, sad, angry so age appropriate (chooses not to care)
Very socialable (overly so)
Does respond to name and conversation initian on his terms
Can confidently do all 4 blank levels so obviously has good inference and perspective abilities (just chooses not to care)

Would I be unreasonable to be satisfied it's not ASD and therefore cancel the appointments?

I wouldn’t rule it out based on the above. You don’t have to label your son though. If you want to know, go for the tests, if you don’t, don’t go.

Autism is a spectrum, not everyone with autism has the same exact symptoms.
I think there's no harm in being assessed, especially if he is prone to violent tantrums.
I know the system isn't fantastic but you should probably have all the information you can get while he is still young.

ASD comes in many guises, not every person with ASD has every symptom. Go to the appointments.

Why would you not want him assessed?

Honestly, I think you should go. I do understand your concerns though.
They’re not going to give your child autism or indeed a diagnosis if they’re not sure. They might, however, recognise something that your son would then benefit from in the means of some appropriate support.

The important thing is not to put a label on him but to get advice about the best way of handling thigs to help him in areas he mayy find difficult

Because he's been in a grey area of the system since 2 and I'm exhausted with the uncertainty and would like ASD ruled out so I can focus on the real cause that my child enjoys hurting me

What? Why would you cancel an assessment? That alone wont make him autistic, but if he is, having an official diagnosis will help him his whole life long.

I think it depends on your motives (which you’re not under obligation to disclose here btw).

If you’re wanting to avoid a label then I understand where you’re coming from but I would also caution abandoning a system that may be hard to get back into. If you think there may be ‘something’ going on but not specifically autism then I think it would be valuable to have that conversation with the service he is currently under.

I do think it’s really hard when they’re so young because the for and against lists are so fluid and they’re developing so fast still. I don’t know if the child development team would be open to taking a wait and watch approach though. I would hope they’re not just fixed on proving one diagnosis without the consideration of other possibilities.

If he’s assessed and found needing extra support he will be able to access it more readily. He’s 5 so probably manageable at present in a school setting as the work is more play based. He made need more support going forward. If you cancel the assessments now he may wait years to access the support (if needed) in the future.

No way would I turn down the assessments.

Your DS is 5 ! I'm sorry to say but that it considered late for a diagnosis. Most children get diagnosed at 2 or 3 years of age.

Bear in mind that it's a spectrum, all children present differently. He is presenting some features that are atypical. It could be Autism or something. But I would not cancel any assessments- as you will need this for him to get access to services or intervention.

Even if it turns out he isn’t on the spectrum, you might be able to access some support for him via these assessments. I would go.

Theres no harm in having the tests carried out especially due to as you've said yourself the violent meltdowns. Get him checked out better now than years down the line.

Who made the appointments?
I personally wouldnt be cancelling them. They are hard to get and its better to be in the ststem before things go wrong that to wait until they go wrong.
I cant tell you if your child us autistic or not from your list but your reasons for cancelling are not thing i associate eith autism. My DS is at a special school - they all know their name. I dont know what blank levels are. Lots of autistic prople are sociable.

Why would you cancel? The assessments will be benifitial if he is on the spectrum and if he isn't then the assessment will confirm that.
I don't think that asd assessments are handed out for shits & giggles.

Cross posted; I don’t know if it’s that simple to definitively rule out ASD at his age. Is there no support for his violent outbursts regardless of a diagnosis?

DS1 is 14 and doesn't fit any particular box for Autism; the whole reason it's called a spectrum is because each person with Autism has differences to the next and responds differently. People with Autism aren't one homogenous group to be lumped together because of a diagnosis.

I wouldn't ever refuse an Autism assessment for a child who may have Autism because without wanting to sound rude, someone trained to diagnose Autism has so much more experience and understanding to draw on than a parent.

The assessment isn't going to change him or who he is. It could make a difference between accessing support or not in the future, and that's the thing that you should focus on.

dd is sociable, recognises emotions, and did from very small and responds to her name. (did so since small.) still autistic.

ds is completely different. yep, autistic too.

go for the tests.

Well if you don't think he has autism, then he'll have the assessment and can rule it out.

What advantage is there of not going?

He has biolent meltdowns and hurts you because he probanly has Autisim. High functioning but its probably Autisim

How much experience and knowledge about Autism do you have?

One family with a child with known autism took her other younger child along to his appointment as her childcare was unavailable. The specialist immediately realised that child also had autism. Assessments of the rest of her children identified autism in her eldest too after he started secondary school. All three children are very different and their autism became more obvious as they got older.

Families wait for such a long time to be given appointments for assessments, I think you should take your son and await the results.
If all is well, then fine. However, later on down the line and you find there are more issues arising, you will wish you had had not cancelled.

You could have described my daughter . She's been diagnosed with asd for over a year she is 8.

She was in the system since she was 2. I would go ahead with assessment because why not ... nothing to lose . If you come out and things get worse then it can take a long time to get back into queue for assessment

YABVU to consider cancelling it. It can and usually is very difficult to get an assessment in the first place, so several specialists obviously feel he might be on the spectrum. YAalsoBU to ask strangers on the internet to help you to 'confidently' say that he doesn't have ASD, no one on here can do that.

All the things you've said rule it out sound like forms of classic autism traits, though.