AIBU to not know how to tackle this?

[EowynDernhelm]

I feel like this is massively unreasonable, that I have reached almost 50, and still struggle to tackle difficult situations. What would you do/say?

I pay someone to do a service weekly on our property. To say exactly what would be outing, sorry.

I have generally been really happy with the service they provide. I have had no problems til now, other than occasional lack of update on how it goes. I am usually not there when they provide the service, as I have used them for quite a while, and trust them. It is not always possible to know visually if they have actually done the service.

Today I left a Christmas card and present on top of the equipment for the service, untouched - I could tell if it had been. They could use their own, but my equipment has been specially provided, and they always do use mine, and to use theirs would mean dragging it a long way from the car park they use. When I got back to the property, I noticed the card and present were still there. I had a message earlier to say the service had been done. I asked if they had picked up the Christmas present and they said they hadn't noticed it.

My DH thinks they have not done the service. They say they definitely have. I don't know how to tackle this. If I challenge them, we could end up with bad feeling, and I don't want to lose them for this, they are really good at it. But I feel uneasy that they might not have done it, and are taking advantage. How do I handle this?

And am I unreasonable for being unable to handle this kind of thing at my age?

I think it's riding your horse or something?I'd say it straight 'your present and card were in the cupboard on top of the equipment and I'm at a loss how you didn't notice them'. You can't prove it either way anyway and at least if they're lying they will know you're onto them and they'll do the service weekly going forward.

Maybe the did use their own equipment, but I doubt it given that you state it would be a PITA to drag it across a car park etc.

I think they haven't provided the service at all. Sorry.

How can it be outing, are you really the only person in the world that has this 'service'? Do the providers of this service use Munsnet? Just tell us.

This thread was always going to get derailed by intrigue!

@chillykiwi
Are they bringing livestock to cover one of your other animals?
On first glance I thought you meant like a temp 😁

To be honest, I think I really need to know what this service is just in case I need it and hadn't realised.

@LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook 😂😂😂

Such a shame this is derailing the thread.

Hahaha! Ok, I've been rumbled, it's alligator walking! Or not.

Not dog walking or horse riding - again, too mainstream.

It always amuses me when people state that hobbies can't be that outing - as a family, we take part in several extremely unusual and outing hobbies. And anyone reading this thread would probably be able to know it was me if they saw a thread where I mention the hobbies.

No, we don't do cycling, nor rugby or football or running - though we've been known to do a bit of cycling and running. Think more way out there stuff like sumo wrestling or plane walking or competitive chess. Not a huge population that do them, and everyone knows everyone within it.

@allergictoamop Why didn't anyone think of that earlier?! Genius.

Have you messaged the person? If it’s very important that it be done then you could use that tact; ‘Can you let me know if you definitely did X today. I need to know so I can do it if you didn’t.’

Also totally preoccupied by what the service could be - and thinking that if you can’t tell if it’s been done, maybe you don’t need it?

Could you ask them how they managed without your brush/hose/whatever was underneath the present?

I know this feeling. I’ve had people doing my horses over the years that had gradually cut corners and taken the mick more, despite being wonderful initially. It’s worrying when you’re not sure whether you can trust them.

Of course its outing

If our pool isn't cleaned we can't always tell, especially as it's an indoor one and not used much at the moment . Have they used any of the chemicals etc or don't you monitor it?

I wouldn't be able to let this go, but I hate confrontation too.

Yes, it does need doing. It's a safety risk otherwise.

Thanks to those with helpful suggestions, I managed to word a message properly.

Turns out that the person forgot their key to the cupboard today, so could not access our equipment, so used their own equipment.

DH has popped out to give them their present.

So all sorted, bit of a damp squib outcome - see this is the problem with avoiding potential drama - you get yourself all worked up, only to find out that you didn't need to be after all!

Thanks to all for their input. I'm off to go feed that alligator now!

Do they tighten the grips on your climbing /traversing wall?

Hot tub cleaner

Hot tub cleaner

I don’t think owning a hot tub is comparable to ’sumo wrestling or plane walking‘.

Surely more people own a hot tub than plane walk?

Also:
OP said: ’Not a huge population that do them, and everyone knows everyone within it.’

Or is there a secret hot tub owners club?

Hmmm... so you keep the equipment in a locked cupboard? Is that because the equipment is dangerous? Is this equipment used to do safety checking or cleaning of your hobby related items?

I'm so curious!!!!

Yes, it does need doing. It's a safety risk otherwise.

Ha! It's tightening of screws and care for your sex equipment in your dungeon! Isn't it😁 Is that where you keep the alligator? Poor guy must be mentally scarred

@chillykiwi Are they bringing livestock to cover one of your other animals? On first glance I thought you meant like a temp 😁

It's making sure the fences are safe around the dogging area so the alligator doesn't get in and make a terrible mess.

TELL US!!!!

If we agree it’s outing you can ask MNHQ to delete the revealing post.

I’m 99.999% sure it won’t be that outing.