Help me find my Christmas spirit, we are alone again/forever...

[IdiotInDisguise]

I cannot find the will to get the Christmas decorations out. DS is 16 and not bothered about Christmas, we have no family in the country, the vast majority of my friends disappear to visit their own families in Christmas, BF will be here but his kids are with their mum until the new year, his mum died last year and his brother is not interested in meeting anyone in Christmas.

Could you suggest what 3 people can do in Christmas to avoid feeling so terribly lonely? It just feel ridiculous to do all the Christmas dinner faff for just 3 people but then... it does seems that this is “Christmas” from now on.

Ps. Can’t go on holidays or book a nice place for dinner because I have to pay for some urgent work the house needs

I think a really relaxed day, lots of films in PJs with hot chocolate and popcorn, would be lovely. Throw in a pub lunch or similar and it sounds like Heaven

No worries about being helped to see “really despondent Christmas” I have seen more poverty than most people have while volunteering in extremely poor areas in Latin America, including working with refugees from El Salvador, and have spent a short sit in in Dhalit neighbourhoods in India.

I would say however that I find the idea of using people who are worse off than ya to make us feel better about ourselves abhorrent.

I feel respect for those people and their struggles, they are like anyone of us. But better they keep fighting no matter what.

If I were on my own, I would volunteer, and if my son and BF wanted to,fantastic, but this is not something it is my right to impose on people around me (fret not, though, my son has spent the summer raising funds for a charity that helps house young people who are coming out of care, so we are not a selfish family)

I don't think anyone suggested "using" people to make you feel better. It just gives a little perspective to remember how lucky we are. Everyone gets down and needs a kick up the arse sometimes.

Nobody has said you're selfish, you asked for suggestions and got a good one. That was before you'd mentioned the previous volunteering you'd done

I would say however that I find the idea of using people who are worse off than ya to make us feel better about ourselves abhorrent

Who has suggested that?

I do think having a small Xmas when you are used to large ones is hard and sad . We should practice gratitude and we probably do for 364 days a year , but Xmas is hugely hard for so many people .

I’ve gone from large family Xmas to very small ones . I do miss my dad at this time of year .

It is just different I suppose but I guess you miss what you are used to. Not wanting to offend anyone who have a little celebration at Christmas, I am just trying to find a way to make this one more special, because for us (extended family) Christmas was all about getting together, and spend time together, we were normally chatting the whole night on Christmas Eve, and then get together for lunch after most of us have gone home at dawn. I’m sure that many people would find such level of contact difficult to bear.

I understand about missing your dad, parents are what gels the family together. They go and Christmas are never the same.

@IdiotInDisguise how was your Christmas? How did it feel?

Amazing, thanks, we decided to avoid the “shoulds” so had burgers in Christmas Eve, let DS open his gifts before midnight, had bacon sandwiches in Christmas morning, BF ended up cooking a full Christmas dinner (no turkey because we both hate it). We opened the gifts at midday, had dinner at 4 we were out early on the Boxing Day and ended up in one of BF’s favourite pubs in the absolute middle of nowhere, the landscape was amazing. I really enjoyed the quiet pace and not being subject to rules or expectations.

How was yours?

Yay ! So pleased for you

Ah so glad it worked for you and you found enjoyment in the quieter, more relaxed, smaller Xmas :) me and my OH decided to try Xmas elsewhere this year so we're in Europe. It's been really nice because it feels like a nice wintery holiday not Xmas if that makes sense. Makes doing our own relaxed thing easier away from home. First time we've tried it and it's good :)

How was yours @Fightingmycorner2019? I hope you had a lovely time with the DC enjoying your new peace.

@Batinahat, that sounds great. I’m sure it was still Christmassy with all the decorations and nice and cosy once out of the cold.