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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me find my Christmas spirit, we are alone again/forever...

87 replies

IdiotInDisguise · 19/12/2019 15:38

I cannot find the will to get the Christmas decorations out. DS is 16 and not bothered about Christmas, we have no family in the country, the vast majority of my friends disappear to visit their own families in Christmas, BF will be here but his kids are with their mum until the new year, his mum died last year and his brother is not interested in meeting anyone in Christmas.

Could you suggest what 3 people can do in Christmas to avoid feeling so terribly lonely? It just feel ridiculous to do all the Christmas dinner faff for just 3 people but then... it does seems that this is “Christmas” from now on.

Ps. Can’t go on holidays or book a nice place for dinner because I have to pay for some urgent work the house needs Confused

OP posts:
midnightmisssuki · 19/12/2019 16:29

Just put the tree up, cook a dinner and watch films and eat chocolate all night. That sounds perfect to me - three people is plenty.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 19/12/2019 16:30

I have plenty of empathy

I'm not seeing any.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 19/12/2019 16:30

Well, you don't have to bother with a tree, but a nice roast dinner is always nice, followed by a walk and a movie.

mismo · 19/12/2019 16:32

Oh get a grip, I made a suggestion, if you don't like it, move on.

Original poster
IdiotInDisguise · 19/12/2019 16:32

(Adds chocolate to the list)

OP posts:
Foghead · 19/12/2019 16:32

Buy a tinsel tree and put some fairy lights up around the house. Get a tin of chocolates and put them out.
Buy a few gifts and cook a roast chicken dinner and get a dessert for Christmas dinner.
Watch tv, Skype family and friends, read some books, find places to go out locally.

If you can do something for others, it does actually help. Even donating to the food bank is doing something as you’re including other people in your Christmas celebrations, if that makes sense.

Batinahat · 19/12/2019 16:34

Me and my OH spent a very nice Christmas one year doing a themed movie marathon over the holiday - we picked a year from our youth and watched as many of the top 10 grossing films from that year we could. It was great and the kind of thing we only have time to do during Christmas break from work when not going away. I also recommend going out to coast or similar or joining in any local group dogs walks - we have previously done one with dogs trust on boxing Day and another with local rescues. Make it your own Christmas which doesn't have to be like everyone else's. We usually have something like lasagne or buy lots of supermarket party food and cheese x

CorBlimeyGovenor · 19/12/2019 16:39

@mismo

Come on, how about a bit of festive spirit here! No need to be so unkind.

Original poster
IdiotInDisguise · 19/12/2019 16:41

@Batinahat, that made me smile... years ago my sisters and cousins, being teenagers were left at home by our parents on Boxing Day... we spent the whole day watching Grease and Splash, as soon the movie finished we would insert the other one again, we must have seen each movie 4 times and by the time the parents returned we had gone through all the Christmas leftovers... it was glorious! Grin

Thanks for the suggestion Smile

OP posts:
mismo · 19/12/2019 16:42

Honestly, so everything everyone is suggesting, you couldn't have thought of on your own, get the tinsel out, put some Christmas tunes on, just do whatever makes you enjoy Christmas in your own way, is that better, what exactly where you asking.

WhatshouldIdo123 · 19/12/2019 16:43

Hi OP. It's my first Xmas after I split with my husband earlier this year. It will just be me and my DD. I get where you are coming from. Im struggling massively with MH issues and just feel out of the Xmas loop this year. Ive put a little tree up and have just made a nut roast today for our Xmas dinner. Im still going to try and kick on with our usual traditions etc although I feel I am dying inside. Ignore the cuntish posts..... its a bloody hard time of year yet some people just cant stop themselves putting the boot in.

WhatshouldIdo123 · 19/12/2019 16:44

@mismo Oh FFS.... stop being such an arsehole.

Mannersstillcostnothing · 19/12/2019 16:44

If you say you feeling lonely with a smaller family xmas why not reach out in your community I'm sure theres another smaller family locally while feeling the same way maybe you could all have a pot luck xmas lunch together or something on the day.

Original poster
IdiotInDisguise · 19/12/2019 16:44

@foghead, I used to bake biscuits for the neighbours on Christmas but the older we get the less of the original group we were, most have moved out or are away spending Christmas with their now grown up children. I got a gift for the new family that moved in at the start of the year (bless them, they had a lovely gesture toward us in Ramadan). I have just handed to her, need to make some time to invite them for coffee. 🙂

OP posts:
maddening · 19/12/2019 16:45

We choose to do it just us 3, see one side of family on Xmas eve and the other boxing day but Xmas day is presents, prosecco for me while dh cooks then eating and films and games, it is a deliciously chilled out no pressure christmas day 🤶🤩🤩🤩

countdowntonap · 19/12/2019 16:47

it would be lovely to find a little cottage for one night only that accepts dogs... we can get the dinner from Iceland and be happy... see the dawn by the coast
That sounds like an outstanding plan! My dream Christmas. Don’t do anything because you feel you have to!

mismo · 19/12/2019 16:50

This reply has been deleted

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WhatshouldIdo123 · 19/12/2019 16:54

@mismo Hmm

Pumperthepumper · 19/12/2019 16:58

I would make a nice meal - not even a Christmas meal, but everyone’s favourites, so have pizza if you feel like it.

Then I would play a board game - I recommend Ticket to Ride. Easy rules but you have to concentrate to win, the sails and rails one is particularly good - then loads of chocolate and crisps and stuff until bed. I really hope you all have a nice day, it’s a tricky time of year Flowers

mismo · 19/12/2019 16:59

That's just the thing, I wasn't being unkind, I made what I thought was a reasonable suggestion, and got accused of having no empathy, of course I'm going to bite back, so anyway, I'll just leave you all to it, wish I hadn't bothered.

Original poster
IdiotInDisguise · 19/12/2019 17:01

@WhatshouldIdo123, sorry to hear you find yourself in this situation as well, how old is DD? I miss the time when DS was younger, Christmas made more sense back then...

OP posts:
Original poster
IdiotInDisguise · 19/12/2019 17:11

Mismo, what a bunch of joy you are! Grin

OP posts:
marchingonwithmother · 19/12/2019 17:11

What's so bad about suggesting volunteering Confused

Op asked for suggestions, none of her family are interested in doing anything this year so it's a perfectly reasonable suggestion.

Op doesn't want to, fair enough. But surely she was looking for suggestions she hasn't thought of. Putting a tree up, eating favourite foods and playing a board game is hardly outside the box is it?

undercoveraessedai · 19/12/2019 17:12

Me and my Mum and my Gran had Christmas last year just the three of us, like you this was very different to our usual huge family Xmas, but actually it was lovely - Mum and I weren't that well and it was only our 2nd Christmas since my Dad passed away, so we had a properly chilled day together, lovely food (but didn't go overboard, just plenty of what we each liked and none of the random additional "shoulds", plus doing the full roast meant no one had to cook on Boxing Day), and watched films, read books and listened to music.

Essentially we all just did what we wanted to do, together - Gran did some knitting, Mum put her feet up for once and I had an actual nap - it was lush!

I hope your day is lovely

mismo · 19/12/2019 17:14

…...and, you're all talking about empathy, I can't actually understand what was so wrong in suggesting volunteering over Christmas,