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AIBU?

that if you don't know someone well enough to hear they've moved ...

124 replies

PineappleDanish · 19/12/2019 08:35

That you don't need to send a Christmas card?

We've been in our house 12 years. Every Christmas we get a card for the previous residents, no return address. Opened it this year to see if there were more clues inside. Message reads: to from Claire, Niall, Eva, Sarah-Louise and Michael. Hope to catch up with you in 2020.

Yes I hope you catch up with them too Claire, so they can tell you that they moved house in 2008.

Similarly, we had a card through the door yesterday for an ex-neighbour who is now a close friend. They moved out 8 years ago, and don't live too far away. Their card was addressed to wrong house number - for example we're 87, they were 89 and the card was addressed to 81. Postie obviously realised they weren't at 81, so thought the 1 was possibly a 7.

So if you're a Claire living somewhere in the Republic of Ireland who is merrily buying cards each winter and wasting money on postage to Scotland, please stop. They've moved and haven't told you.

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AIBU

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CaptainCallisto · 19/12/2019 19:42

I like that idea @Drum2018

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RHTawneyonabus · 19/12/2019 19:48

I agree. We’ve been here six years. I get a card from the same people for the old occupants every year. They moved two streets away so every year I popped through their door on the way past. But they’ve clearly never bothered to tell them that they’ve moved.

This year it went in the bin.

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shinynewapplesonachristmastree · 19/12/2019 20:37

@handslikecowstits well that's just stupid. Why on earth didn't you return to sender the first time you received the wrongly addressed card, if the sender had put name and address on the back

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MerryDeath · 19/12/2019 20:41

the lady who owned our house prior has been dead for over two years. we had at least 8 cards for her, one was bloody hand delivered! I'm sending the names to her solicitor as i've got nothing else to go on

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Hippee · 19/12/2019 20:50

MzHz - the name of the person who sent the round robin doesn't begin with an R does it? My SIL gets a hilarious one from a friend every year - I really look forward to reading it.

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AnxietyDream · 19/12/2019 20:52

DH had a huge list of people he sends cards to, many of whom don't send back, and his 'system' for knowing where to send them is a ragged set of scrawled and crossed through loose pages. We have discovered at least once that he had reverted to an old address and the person just assumed he had stopped sending cards. They did still see each other a couple of times a year, but the person always came to us or met in the middle so it took years to discover he wasn't getting the card.

I sometimes wonder how many others are actually received.

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NoFucksImAQueen · 19/12/2019 21:01

Yanbu. I got my number over 4 years ago and for well over a year I was reciveing texts and calls from friends and family even ones breaking news of cancer (yes really) as well as banking updates and hospital appointment texts for the previous owner. The best was a congratulations text "from your favourite uncle". I felt so mean replying that she had changed her number a year previously. The worst part was I would tell every single person to ask her to update her number as I was getting all these texts and information but she never did. In the end I knew her full (rather unusual) name, city she lived in, how overdrawn she was, how many kids she had, rough ages of them and the christening date of one and what hospital she attended appointments at.

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BeverlyGoldbergsHairAndJumpers · 19/12/2019 21:44

@Yokohamajojo maybe you got a Janet and Roy letter? Have you seen those threads?

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furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 21:54

MzHz Lol I can understand the temptation. I loathe those smug round robins.

I am probably a bit sad but I actually get where these Claire types are coming from in a way. Sometimes people do want to catch up with someone they have not nteracted with for a long time. My mum sent a christmas card to someone she had not interacted with for 30 years and did get a lovely response back and they are now in touch again. But of course, one does have to be prepared that the address may have changed or the person receiving the card has moved on emotionally/ isn;t interested anymore.

I think it worth a try though if you really want to get back in touch but think Facebook or googling them probably more effective. If you google though, be prepared to be faced with finding something out which may be nasty- I googled a girl I was at school with, wanted to get back in touch, we had been good friends at time and her obituary was oen of the first things that came up. same age as me, late 30s, dead by suicide. Very sad.

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Clymene · 20/12/2019 11:50

I've had 2 cards today for the family who used to live here (we've been here 10 years).

One says 'friends like you are special and few'. So special that they haven't told you where they live.

The other says they hope to see them soon and do let them know next time they're in Hove. That one is signed by every member of the family individually so poor Toby and Tom (who are clearly quite young) had to sit and sign cards to people they've probably never even met

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dayslikethese1 · 20/12/2019 12:05

I don't know why people don't do re-direct. We moved in January and have had a few things for the previous owner. I've put them all back in the postbox with 'Return to Sender'. Also agree that if you were friends you'd tell the person you'd moved. I bet a lot of these card recipients don't even remember who these people sending them cards are. I like cards (unpopular opinion on MN it seems) but I only send them to people I know (and know the addresses of!) and only to people I know appreciate receiving cards.

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tinysnickersaremyfavourite · 20/12/2019 12:19

We've lived here 3.5yrs and we still get previous owners P60, Isa statements and private pension letters.
For ages I put it all back in the postbox as return to send, no longer at this address but it just keeps coming. I recycle without opening now.

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HowDoYouLikeThoseSuedeApples · 20/12/2019 12:47

I wish it was only Christmas cards - once had a man and van load of antique furniture turn up. Next door neighbour still BFF's with them. The shop arranged delivery with "are you still in the same house", they said yes - without checking the address on file. They moved out ten years previously. Got neighbour to redirect the delivery it's a couple of miles away luckily and she holds a house key for emergencies. Still also get Christmas cards and publicity from a lot of wine companies in their name. If it has an address label on I return to sender if not it goes to neighbours letter box to be passed on in the hope they'll finally sort it out.

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Ohyesiam · 20/12/2019 12:48

YABU because it doesn’t matter

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Carnabie · 20/12/2019 12:53

I agree, except I moved three years ago, sent everyone my new address (on a sticker so they could just stick it in their address book if they wanted) but have this year found out that three sets of relatives have been merrily sending things to our old address. We’ve seen them several times in the past three years as well but somehow never realised.

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WhereverIMayRoam · 20/12/2019 13:09

Last year we had a “double error” situation where the address was No 24 but the names on the card didn’t live at No 24 (nor did we - the postie delivered it to us at No 18 in error!)
Unfortunately I had picked it up from the floor along with a couple of other Christmas cards, opened it without even looking at the envelope and out fell £30! That’s when I looked at the envelope and realised it wasn’t for us...

The people at No 24 had no idea who Emily and Graham were, neither we nor No 24 could make out their last name and despite going up and down our street Hi, really sorry to disturb you, erm.... are you Graham/Emily we couldn’t find the intended recipients and none of the neighbours knew them either. No return address.

I actually kept it for @ 6 weeks on the off chance somebody would come across them (the postie wouldn’t take it ) but eventually gave the money to charity. I still feel awful because Graham and Emily and the senders must all think someone stole it and feel a bit about it.

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Fuckoffdailymail222 · 23/12/2019 05:09

It's odd I have just said how sad this is and yesterday it happened to me!
Card for dorothy who used to live here.

She died 7 years ago. House was empty for a few years before me, but I've been here two years and not had that before. No return details.

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glueandstick · 23/12/2019 14:12

My parents get a Christmas card every year from someone who not only gets the person wrong..... but the wrong town. Similar address but they have sent it for nearly 30
Years. Every single year.

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nevermorelenore · 23/12/2019 15:20

Last week she said that she thinks that they haven't updated their Christmas spreadsheet of addresses and just hit 'print', because the birthday cards for the children have arrived every year at their new house without fail.

My MIL has a spreadsheet of doom for xmas cards. There's over 100 addresses on there and although she can add people, she doesn't know how to delete them, so she's probably responsible for about 50% of the cards in this thread.

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weegiemum · 23/12/2019 19:44

It's now a key point of the run up to Christmas when "The American Card" arrives. A gloriously tacky family group shot in matching jumpers. We put it up with the rest of our cards. We've lived here since 2012 and never had a forwarding address.

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Vanillaradio · 23/12/2019 19:54

We've been here 7 years. We still get a card for the previous family. They must have talked to them since they moved because there's an additional child on the card who must have been born since they moved out. We just put it up with the rest of our cards!

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Lauren83 · 23/12/2019 20:20

We get a parcel addressed to a reverend every Christmas and we have been here 5 years and the people before 6, this year was the first year they put a return address on the back so maybe that will be the end of it now

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LightsInOtherPeoplesHouses · 23/12/2019 20:33

For the last ten years we've received post for the previous three owners of our house. Not just cards, but credit cards, bills, final demands, catalogues, legal stuff, insurance renewals, all sorts.

I now know the earliest owners I know of sadly died, the second owner was into some dodgy stuff and seems to have disappeared under a bit of a cloud and the third lot were completely bonkers (though I knew that already as that's who we bought off and I was glad they were moving a long way away).

If it has an address I return to sender, otherwise it's in the bin.

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MrsMozartMkII · 23/12/2019 20:37

We had a Christmas card for the previous people - for 18 years... It heralded the start of Christmas when it dropped on the mat

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