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AIBU?

that if you don't know someone well enough to hear they've moved ...

124 replies

PineappleDanish · 19/12/2019 08:35

That you don't need to send a Christmas card?

We've been in our house 12 years. Every Christmas we get a card for the previous residents, no return address. Opened it this year to see if there were more clues inside. Message reads: to from Claire, Niall, Eva, Sarah-Louise and Michael. Hope to catch up with you in 2020.

Yes I hope you catch up with them too Claire, so they can tell you that they moved house in 2008.

Similarly, we had a card through the door yesterday for an ex-neighbour who is now a close friend. They moved out 8 years ago, and don't live too far away. Their card was addressed to wrong house number - for example we're 87, they were 89 and the card was addressed to 81. Postie obviously realised they weren't at 81, so thought the 1 was possibly a 7.

So if you're a Claire living somewhere in the Republic of Ireland who is merrily buying cards each winter and wasting money on postage to Scotland, please stop. They've moved and haven't told you.

OP posts:

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Besidesthepoint · 19/12/2019 16:52

There is an old slightly demented lady who calls my dad every month. She actually wants to call her friend but keeps switching the last two numbers of the phone number even though it is written down correctly. They are getting quite acquainted by now, my dad knows where she lives and who her friend is and the names of her children. It is getting more fun and friendly as this goes on and I think that my dad (who is also alone) is starting to look forward to her calls.

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NorfolkRattle · 19/12/2019 17:03

Just after I had left university I went to Holland for a week to stay with a British friend. I had known him about three years, I knew he could be a plonker, self-righteous, etc but overlooked that in view of his better qualities. Big mistake: he had become very, very self-righteous indeed, was constantly talking in a very pious tone about the (in his view) moral failings of various mutual friends and acquaintances. He was an evangelical Christian. When he wasn't criticizing other people we knew, or people in general, he was criticizing me, finding fault, constantly on his high horse. And he was a hypocrite, banging on about how he'd only ever marry a Christian woman who was a virgin or as-near-as. . .but it was perfectly okay for him , apparently, to have had lots of one-night stands and casual encounters with NON-Christians!. . .To cut a long story short, I decided that week that this man was not a real friend and that once back in the UK, I wouldn't keep in touch with him. And I didn't. This didn't stop him sending me a Round Robin every Christmas for the next 10 years (c/o my parents' address, his only point of contact.) I read the first one and binned it, maybe the second as well. The whole thing was about how successful he was, emotionally, professionally, financially. and about how God was obviously blessing him! Finally, my parents moved. Maybe he is STILL sending Round Robins to me at that address, who knows? A person with the sensitivity of a nuclear attack.

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Potsie · 19/12/2019 17:07

I moved into my house in 2003 and still get cards to the owner before the one we bought from. I guess they moved out in 2001.

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Clevs · 19/12/2019 17:08

My parents received a Christmas card every year for the previous owners for about 30 years. Every year they would forward it on (they knew they were still at the address they moved to when they sold the house to my parents. They even bump into them occasionally). It's only been the last few years that they've stopped receiving it.

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ChrisPrattsFace · 19/12/2019 17:09

We have lived in our house ten years, a friend five years before that and another friend three yours before that.
We get a similar card every year without fail. How is it NEVER mentioned - If they see each other?
Clearly one must think the other is rude for ‘not sending cards’ even though we’ve been getting them for 18 years.

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chillykiwi · 19/12/2019 17:13

We get a card for a previous resident and their children, they used to put £5 in it, now they put £10 but we haven't got a returning address. Now we open it and donate it the food bank by using it to buy foods off their 'need' list and take them in. Not ideal but better than just pocketing the cash.

It's ridiculous really as we've lived here for 15 years so the children named in the card will be adults now.

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greenlavender · 19/12/2019 17:18

@BasinHaircut This sort of thing would happen to my mum as her Christmas card list includes friends of friends or people they met on holiday when we were kids, as their generation did that sort of shit

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SerenDippitty · 19/12/2019 17:21

I have mislaid someone’s address. This person always sends me a card but never puts her address on the envelope or on the round robin letter she includes. I’ve sent a card to what I thought was her address, and on the note I wrote her included my email address. Got an email to say she hasn’t lived at this address for 11 years. Think I will drop her sister a line and ask her to email or text me the right address!

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Catrescue1971 · 19/12/2019 17:27

I'm still getting credit card statements for the previous owner. They moved out 16 years ago. Have done everything to try to stop this. Drives me nuts.

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Petrichor11 · 19/12/2019 17:35

@CaptainCallisto that’s so sad! Poor unknown Margaret!

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WhenTwoBecomeThree · 19/12/2019 17:49

We recently had a £50 voucher posted for a previous resident, we've lived here nearly 2 years and I wonder who loves someone enough to spend £50 on them but also doesn't have their new address

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TigerOnATrain · 19/12/2019 17:51

@PineappleDanish

YANBU. It really irks me and I get irrationally annoyed by it!

We have lived in our current home some 10 years, and before we moved there was a Linda Jones living here (for 5 years.) BEFORE that Mr and Mrs J Harris lived here (and the Harris's left in 2004!)

We get stuff for Linda Jones now and again, and even now - FIFTEEN YEARS ON - we get a Christmas card for the Harris's (from a couple called John and Pat Andrews.) And with a similar message as the OP said, 'must catch up in 2012/13/15/18/20..... blah blah blah.......

Also, for the first 4 or 5 years we were here we got a big envelope with 3 individual cards in it. One to John and Pat, (Harris,) and one each for Lucy and Harry. The ones for Lucy and Harry had £20 each in!

No-one I spoke to (nearby in the neighbourhood,) had any idea where they had gone, and some people had never heard of them. Someone said they moved in the late 1990s! Yet, in 2009-2013, someone was still sending cards and money!

Like a few posters have said, there are no return addresses on, and so I can't do anything about it.

As you said @PineappleDanish they can't be THAT close if they don't know they moved over a bloody decade ago!!!

(disclaimer: no real names are used here)

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EggysMom · 19/12/2019 17:53

@Oliversmumsarmy I moved in 1997 and lost touch with a "Jo and Paul". If your postcode begins PE it might be the same ones so send me a PM!

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BadnessInTheFolds · 19/12/2019 18:09

Variant on a theme (though we do still get several Christmas cards for previous tenants, 5 years after moving in)

I've had two people contact me to ask if I'm at the same address this year. I am as they'd know if we were actually in touch in any meaningful way (surely a house move is the kind of thing you mention??) and the last contact I've had with them both is an email from last December asking the same thing. I don't send them cards, and feel momentary guilt but really I don't understand why they bother??

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Marshmallow91 · 19/12/2019 18:16

I get a card every year from a woman and her dog, addressed to the lady who used to own this house who died almost 15 years ago

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sonjadog · 19/12/2019 18:19

I love a round robin. I wish people still sent them to me. I stopped sending cards about five years ago, so I hardly get any back now.

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ForalltheSaints · 19/12/2019 18:21

YANBU. Sad if the person has died, but even so, you would think after a couple of years you'd try to find out.

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shinynewapplesonachristmastree · 19/12/2019 18:51

I wish people would put return addresses on cards, especially if they are sending them to someone who didn't reply the previous year.

There are cards arriving at my parents house which we are emptying for sale. My dad passed away a few months back and mum is in care home with dementia. I'd love to let these people know but have no way of finding out who they are.

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DancingPyjamas · 19/12/2019 18:58

I get an Xmas card in the post every year without fail for Mavis and family from aunty Mary.
This year's read that she hopes Mavis is feeling better.
How can you know that your niece is ill, yet don't know she moved around 10 years ago??
I also get mail for the previous owners between Mavis and me from financial institutions including the husband's pension forecast, bank statements, credit card statements, a letter last year from family allowance asking if one of the kids is staying on in education and to let them know, visits from the police to arrest one of the kids, despite me keep telling them that they haven't lived here in 4 years, and bailiffs, lots of bailiffs!
I'm just waiting for the police to put my door in at daft o clock in the morning to arrest him!

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Cineraria · 19/12/2019 19:01

We used to get beautiful postcard style Christmas cards from Poland for the family who used to live here (The mum was originally from Poland) before they sold the house to us on moving to Canada.

I always put them up with ours and felt sorry they family and this friend/relative had lost touch. They were written in spidery frail looking handwriting and I actually felt quite sad the last two years when we didn't get one.

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Drum2018 · 19/12/2019 19:07

RIP Margaret. Or maybe she's in a nursing home living it up with Roger in the room next to her and has just forgotten to bring her address book with her. Let's hope...
For those who get a round robin letter with an address, please write back to them from Janet and Roy (made up couple who tell about their year - you can make up any daft stuff).

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ShellieEllie · 19/12/2019 19:10

We have a card arrive every year for a previous owner who moved in 2006.

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Bluerussian · 19/12/2019 19:12

Anything that comes to my house for people I do not know or who have moved, I just cross off the name and address, write 'return to sender, not here' on the envelope and stick it back in the post. If there's no return address the chances are the post office staff will throw it away but it is possible they have an address for the folks concerned, it's amazing how they do find people.

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Rach000 · 19/12/2019 19:13

We got a a couple of cards a year for about 3 years after we moved in for the previous owner. But she hadn't lived at the house for a couple of years before that as she had moved out and died a while before the house went up for sale. So cant have kept in touch.

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mybabyisteething · 19/12/2019 19:17

7th year in our house, same air mail from New Zealand arrives at Christmas.

I know the previous lady, she lives opposite now. She laughs every year but i can't understand why she doesn't just tell them!

Also her pension stuff comes here! (I do pass all post along)

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