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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a child free minibreak?

83 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 18/12/2019 02:01

Just looking for some consensus, really.

DH, DS and I had a terrible time on holiday in the summer - I posted a few times on here about it! I naively believed that it would be possible to have a nice, relaxing time on holiday with a one year old, which I now realise was absolute stupidity.

So, fast forward a few months and DH and I would really love to go away for a few days in February. This would mean leaving DS, who will be nearly 18 months old, with my mother in law for 4 nights.

He stays there every month or so overnight and seems comfortable, sleeps well etc.

Has anyone done this? Is he too young? If you've done it, what was the reaction from your child when you got home?

I'm probably worrying about nothing, just wondering if this is a common thing to do.

OP posts:
commoncoot · 18/12/2019 02:16

I went to Florence for a long weekend when DS1 was 9 months. He was absolutely fine. No issues when we got back

Went to Monaco this year for a long weekend when DS2 was 11 months. Again totally fine. Had no issues while we were gone and not the slightest upset when we got home just really excited to see us.

You'll get some people saying it's too early / they've never left their kids and then others like me saying it's fine no issues but really depends on how you feel and how your baby is. Some will be less find than others

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 18/12/2019 02:24

It's not for me (we had a lovely relaxing holiday with a 1 year old when DS was that age) but horses for courses, plenty on here regularly holiday without their little ones where they have relatives willing to help etc.

Your child will be fine, especially if they stay with grandparents regularly. Your parents will probably find they start getting a bit fussy/asking for mummy & daddy a lot from about day 3 but they will be ok.

HypatiaCade · 18/12/2019 02:28

Whether you take DC with you on holidays - and have a good time - is so dependant on everyone's personalities, and what sort of holiday you are having.

We took ours away, but we stayed at a villa, which had good fences, our own pool, self catered so could choose food etc.

But our DC were fairly chilled and didn't get up to mischief. If we had full on DC I would not have done that sort of trip (grandparents took far away to have helped then).

Expressedways · 18/12/2019 02:34

We’ve had some great family holidays, it’s a shame you didn’t, but I’d still jump at the chance for a child free break! When DD was 1 we did 3 nights in Nashville which is driving distance from us (DMother agreed to extend her visit to us), last month we dropped DD with my parents and had 4 nights in London just us. DD is always fine and not upset to be left but pleasantly pleased to see us afterwards. We’ve also done a few trips where we’ve had childcare too e.g. skiing and used the resort daycare, Club Med.

Go and enjoy yourselves!

PatricksRum · 18/12/2019 03:40

I wouldn't. That's part of being a parent imo. (No child free holidays for a while)

Namechanger23455 · 18/12/2019 03:56

Sounds good idea to me, especially given that DS is used to sleeping out at MILs once a month already- sounds bliss!

Rtmhwales · 18/12/2019 04:07

I've left DS with my mum for several 3-5 day trips without issue (18 months old). He's happy to see her and happy to see me when I get back. Doing a week long thing in March.

Only you know your child and how they'll likely react but it's no real difference from mum's and dads that work out of town all week .. their kids still know and love them when they get back.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 18/12/2019 04:53

I think it's fine when they are babies or very young and don't know their arse from their elbow, but it's actually harder for older kids. My parents used to go away every year for their wedding Anniversary and leave us with friends from the age of seven ish or so. I hated it and missed them terribly but then I was a very over sensitive child who hated being left anywhere

converseandjeans · 18/12/2019 05:12

Depends on age and energy levels of GP in my opinion. Nobody would have agreed to more than a night or two at a push when mine were tiny. Even now they are older we haven't really left them more than a couple of days.
It's a shame you didn't enjoy the family holiday. They're only tiny a short time and I have happy memories of holidays with mine as babies.

rebecca102 · 18/12/2019 05:12

My daughter started staying overnight at my parents without us staying with her around 1yr. She loved it, cried when we picked her up, didn't want to leave lol. Still loves it, we stick to two nights at a time mostly because we miss her Grin

SuperMumTum · 18/12/2019 05:53

I wouldn't have done that to my DD at that age. She liked being with us and I liked having her along and not leaving her behind. I do it now the kids are older.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/12/2019 06:01

I did it when DS was that age and he was really unsettled with my parents. In hindsight I wish I hadn't, I think he was too young.

StreetwiseHercules · 18/12/2019 06:02

“It's a shame you didn't enjoy the family holiday. They're only tiny a short time and I have happy memories of holidays with mine as babies.“

Yes, very helpful. 🙄

While our kids are young we have kept family holidays to the UK. Holiday cottages, CenterParcs, that kind of thing.

I don’t know why people persist with the ordeal of taking very small children abroad to holiday apartments in Spain and the like. There is absolutely no point.

SallyWD · 18/12/2019 06:04

I'd start with 2 nights I think and then build on that.

justdoityourself · 18/12/2019 06:10

He will be fine. We've always taken our dc on plenty of holidays...but always had a child free short break as well, thanks to kind grandparents! Book it.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 18/12/2019 07:03

I work full time so i am desperate to spend every minute of my 6 weeks of with the DC, after all im away from them the other 46 weeks a year. I suppose if i was a SAHM I might feel differently. But even on maternity leave I love going on holiday with the kids!!

Thehop · 18/12/2019 07:04

Can you go for 2 nights instead? See how everyone gets on?

mindutopia · 18/12/2019 07:07

Absolutely go for it. He’s already used to staying there, so why would it be any different? Though I would start with 2-3 nights. You will probably miss him after a point and be ready to go home and you can do a lot in 2-3 full days.

We have no family help really, but managed to pull together my mum/MIL to watch our eldest when she was 2 and we had a night or two away. It was wonderful. And mine had never stayed with anyone before.

It’s a rare opportunity to have overnight childcare for us and we haven’t had it in years now, but we also each go away alone for a break at least once a year (the other stays with the dc). That’s also amazing.

CosmoK · 18/12/2019 07:12

Me and Dh do this twice a year and have done since DS was 8 months old ( he's 5 now)

They're bloody brilliant! A chance for adult time and to do things which are difficult to do with a small child.
Do it!!

CluelessNewMama · 18/12/2019 07:12

No issues whatsoever IMO, particularly considering he’s used to staying over with his grandparents.

It’s important for you and DP to spend quality time together without your DC too; your relationship is fundamental to your family unit so spending some time reconnecting is important.

Take some time to relax and enjoy yourselves, and don’t feel guilty about it, your son will be staying with people he knows and who love him.

CosmoK · 18/12/2019 07:13

Oh and ds has never been bothered. He now looks forward to the giant bar of chocolate from the airport!!

Fairyliz · 18/12/2019 07:14

I went away with friends when DD was 3 and left her with DH.

She was fine, but I spent the whole break missing her.

WhenDoesTheWashingEnd · 18/12/2019 07:14

We've had a couple of long weekend city breaks when DS1 was under 2.
My mum came to our house to look after DS (as well as the cat) which didn't disrupt his usual surroundings and he had a great time. He adores her which helps.
We really benefited from the break too. That alone time helped re-establish our own bonds and gave us a bit of an energy boost.
If your DC is fine with GP for a few days go for it, you'll all benefit from less stress. Smile

JustMe9 · 18/12/2019 07:15

We left our 5month old for 4 nights to have a break and when we came back he was really mad at us for leaving him - he cried whole evening when he saw us! Then he was fine as normal the next day. But I still remember that guilt feeling leaving him. Now we always go on holiday together and its always lovely nice relaxing time (he will be 3 in April).

Aria2015 · 18/12/2019 07:15

I think that sounds fine. Go and enjoy your break. I've found it harder to leave my lo as he's got older. I left for the first little trip away when he was 2.5 and it was fine. Went away for a weekend when he was 4 and he made me pay when I got home lol!