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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a child free minibreak?

83 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 18/12/2019 02:01

Just looking for some consensus, really.

DH, DS and I had a terrible time on holiday in the summer - I posted a few times on here about it! I naively believed that it would be possible to have a nice, relaxing time on holiday with a one year old, which I now realise was absolute stupidity.

So, fast forward a few months and DH and I would really love to go away for a few days in February. This would mean leaving DS, who will be nearly 18 months old, with my mother in law for 4 nights.

He stays there every month or so overnight and seems comfortable, sleeps well etc.

Has anyone done this? Is he too young? If you've done it, what was the reaction from your child when you got home?

I'm probably worrying about nothing, just wondering if this is a common thing to do.

OP posts:
lifeisgoodagain · 18/12/2019 07:19

I did for just 1 night at that age. I think though you need a reality check, babies change holidays, but you need to get them to fit in with you. I took my two backpacking as toddlers, of course it wasn't as easy as when we were childfree but it was amazing all the same (dd1 is autistic so extra challenges). Learn to holiday as a family, my method was to simply do what I fancied and make them fit in!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/12/2019 07:23

I couldn’t either but I didn’t leave mine overnight at all unless they were away with school or the rare night I had to work. For me, holidays are for all or none here, plenty of of time for child free breaks again once they are older.

Littlepond · 18/12/2019 07:25

Oh go for it! There’s no need to be a martyr in parenting in my opinion, if you have a chance to get away child free then do it. And your kid gets a holiday with his Granny! I don’t see any issue at all.

NabooThatsWho · 18/12/2019 07:25

Hell yeah go for it! If you are in the lucky position to have willing family to help, and the DC is comfortable with them, then why not?

Nothing wrong with getting a break.

Ignore the people on here who keep their DC strapped to them in a papoose until they turn 18 🙄

harrypotterfan1604 · 18/12/2019 07:25

It’s a very personal choice. I have many friend who holiday without their children occasionally but personably I wouldn’t want to be in another country. A few days away in the U.K. would be fine with me but should something happen and I need to come home I wouldn’t want to be in the position of having to wait for a flight

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/12/2019 07:26

Does your MIL want to take your child for 4 nights. I think that’s a big ask for an 18month- that was an exhausting age.

Charlottejade89 · 18/12/2019 07:27

I left my dd when she was 6 months old for 2 nights and she was absolutely fine, shes never stayed with anyone else overnight before that either. We will be leaving her for 2 nights again in may to go to a wedding in ireland. I do t think theres anything wrong with wanting a few children days every now and then, it doesn't make you any less of a parent. My mother doesn't live closely and my pils wont have her to stay overnight ever so we dont often get a break

QueenofmyPrinces · 18/12/2019 07:27

Does your MIL know she’s going to be childcare for 5 days/4 nights?!

Me and my DH go away for a weekend trip every 6 months but we leave on Friday morning and come back Sunday evening. We didn’t start doing this though until our youngest was just over two and we shared the care out over the grandparents. We never would have expected one person to be childcare for the duration of the trip because it’s a big ask.

The first time I was away from my eldest son was when he was 2.5 years and it was 5 days of feeling completely bereft -being away from him for so long and especially being in another country to him, was incredibly hard and I can’t imagine doing it at an even younger age.

It’s fine to want to do things as a couple but you need to be realistic and maybe just start off with going away for a weekend in the country first and build up slowly.

OrangeTwirlGate · 18/12/2019 07:31

My oldest is nearly 15 and I’m still waiting for a child free mini break (had two kids after him)
Unfortunately we have no one who can have the kids for more than a few hours at a time :-(

Ineedaweeinpeace · 18/12/2019 07:35

Ohh ffs just go! Ignore anyone going on about anything. For your sanity GOOOOO!

MarthasGinYard · 18/12/2019 07:35

I think it's a big ask of someone to have 18 month old for 5 days. I would also worry but that's just me.

You say you get a night off every month or so. Can you not go away then?

DappledThings · 18/12/2019 07:36

I don’t know why people persist with the ordeal of taking very small children abroad to holiday apartments in Spain and the like. There is absolutely no point.

What a ridiculous generalisation. We took DC1 to a hotel in Malta for a week at 8 months, to a villa I Spain at 17 months and to a cottage in France at 2 when his sister was 6 months. We had a lovely and stressful time every time. It isn't in any way guaranteed to be easy or stressful and it's stupid to state it will be either way.

Ineedaweeinpeace · 18/12/2019 07:37

I can’t stress enough how much you shouldn’t have posted this on here or giving a flying f what these people think.

Go! Be you. Get sleep and shag and order what YOU want off the menu! Go go go!

Dixiechickonhols · 18/12/2019 07:40

When DD was 9 months old I was seriously ill and was suddenly admitted to hospital for a few weeks. DH was trying to work and visit me so my mum had her. I ended up having repeated surgeries over next 10 years and she would often stay with my mum or go and stay in holidays while I worked. I’m very close to DD now a teen. I’d go without hesitation. He’s obviously used to mil, staying there and you trust her to look after him.

DappledThings · 18/12/2019 07:43

We had a lovely and stressful time every time

Grrr. Stressful meant to say stress free there. Somewhat changes my point!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/12/2019 07:43

Do it, we were also very lucky to have grandparents that could have ours and we went away once or twice a year, kids were fine. It's good for kids to have a change of scene and a different way of 'parenting' now and then.

I'm waiting for the "my DC is 18 and has never spent a night away from home" ….there are some on here and I don't mean SN or anything like that.

Dixiechickonhols · 18/12/2019 07:44

Lots of generalisations. MiL might be younger than some mums on here. We took DD to Florida when she was nearly 2 fabulous holiday, many happy memories. With time difference she ended up sleeping late so we got lots of lie ins then evenings out in the theme parks which were all decorated for Christmas. She went on her first roller coaster and loves to hear stories and see photos from that holiday. She doesn’t remember it but I do.

Oysterbabe · 18/12/2019 07:45

I think 4 nights is too long for an 18 month old to be away from both parents. He won't understand and separation anxiety is quite strong for some children at that age. I wouldn't do it.

CosmoK · 18/12/2019 07:47

Don't underestimate the benefit of uninterrupted adult time on the mental health of all of you.

HugoSpritz · 18/12/2019 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geekone · 18/12/2019 07:54

Do it, I am 43 my mum and dad went in a weeks holiday when I was just over a year. I seem to have turned out fine Grin. Strangely I don’t remember.
We went for a couple of days when DS was about 18 months mostly due to money and then for 4 days to Toronto when he was 2.5. The couple time was important and so was the rest. We actually don’t do it as much now that he is older.
Go for it and enjoy.

geekone · 18/12/2019 07:55

Also what @Ineedaweeinpeace said.

Stickybeaksid · 18/12/2019 08:05

Do it. We have left our kids a few times and gone away from when they were babies upwards. Do what’s right for you. My mum is always happy to have them and they have a great time with her. I don’t get the idea that when you have kids you can never ever leave them again. We also take the kids on holidays and on short breaks every year

Lindtnotlint · 18/12/2019 08:10

I would probably go for 2 maybe 3 nights for a first time. 4 next year perhaps!

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 18/12/2019 08:10

Go

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