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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

UCAS utterly unfair

626 replies

Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 18:25

My third child is filling out his UCAS form and as happened with his sister he has to put the highest earner in the household on the form, which will affect his loan, this isn’t me it’s my DH who is not father to any of my children.

He is still paying maintenance for his own children and is not financially responsible for mine, how on earth is this fair?

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 21:16

My DH maintenance was not significantly reduced because of my 3 children.....

OP posts:
Trewser · 17/12/2019 21:17

He needs to choose the cheapest accommodation possible and you need to give him 300 a month towards living costs. That's 150 from you and 150 from your dh. Surely thats possible.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 21:18

I can not afford to support my son through Uni if he can only borrow 4K a year for his living costs.

You can. Your household income is at least 60k. What you are saying is that you don't want to

MaryPeary · 17/12/2019 21:18

@IdiotInDisguise I will remain single for that reason alone. I cannot find an extra £9000 a year required to make me free.

You might be misunderstanding this, @IdiotInDisguise. Or I might be misunderstanding what you're saying. If you think that not being single means you have to pay £9k a year tuition fees up front, that's wrong. Everybody gets the loan to cover tuition fees, regardless of family income. Everybody also gets the minimum maintenance loan of around £4k, then the remainder is means tested. Moneysavingexpert.com guide to student finance

MintyMabel · 17/12/2019 21:18

Do his earnings support the household? Then of course it is fair.

I also don’t understand how you wouldn’t have known this would be the case.

If you’ve been married 8 years why wouldn’t he want to support your child?

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 21:20

Well unless either of you have intimate knowledge of my finances and financial responsibilities (parent in a care home?) then you are both talking utter bollocks

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 21:21

As a household you earn over 60 grand, and he can get a 4 grand loan. Why on earth cant you afford it on that? We are on a lot less and can just about afford it.

Trewser · 17/12/2019 21:21

Think of it like this.

Every student gets at least 13k pa to pay uni fees and 4k towards living costs.

The max living loan is approx 8.5/9k depending on where they go.

You have to be sensible. Dd wants to go to London to uni but we cannot afford the accommodation fees so she can't.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 21:21

No his earnings do not “support “ the household.

Both our earning do, and originally this was my house.

OP posts:
rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 21:22

Well unless either of you have intimate knowledge of my finances and financial responsibilities (parent in a care home?) then you are both talking utter bollocks

Here comes the drip feed....

Trewser · 17/12/2019 21:22

13.3k pa includes 9,250 fees and 4.1k loan

bluebluezoo · 17/12/2019 21:23

Ladies 60 isn't that much a year for a household income

Compared to our 26k per year it’s a fucking shitload Hmm

If kids with parents on 60k a year can’t afford Uni my kids might as well not bother even trying.

Fwiw i think if you move into a house whith kids then yes you are taking them on, whether you do so formally or not. Are you seriously saying you’d move a man in with your kids and not expect him to contribute to their costs at all? Separate food/utility bills? Never baby sit or expect him to care for them in any way?

Fuck that. If a man isn’t going to take on my kids he doesn’t get me either. We’re a package deal.

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 21:24

If your child wasnt going to uni, you would be supporting him at home? Paying for his food etc? So you would still be paying?

Trewser · 17/12/2019 21:24

Honestly OP if he works for a year and chooses cheap accommodation then this could be 300 a month between ypu and your dh.

How can you marry someone that won't financially help the kids he lives with?

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 21:25

We have a mortgage, we pay maintenance and a few hundred a month on top, we had extensive building work to accommodate all the children, we have very high petrol costs due to the distance OH travels, we run two cars, we have high council tax etc etc etc we do not have spare cash and we live month to month.

OP posts:
Trewser · 17/12/2019 21:26

Well he can't go then.

JinglingHellsBells · 17/12/2019 21:26

Unless your £30K income could support you and your children, in your current home,with all its outgoings, then your DH is paying NOW for your children - ie financially responsible.

What you are trying to do is say his financial responsibility stops at the uni door.

I suspect you are protesting on his behalf and feel insecure in the relationship where there are very clear divisions over who pays for what and whom.

You can huff and puff all you want but it won't change anything.

Either you make adjustments to your outgoings, or your child works to top up their £4Kpa, or they don't go to uni.

Maybe they could do an advanced apprenticeship leading to a degree and they would earn while learning?

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 21:27

Look at it this way, every year thousands of kids go to unis from low income families. Thousands go from middle income families that still struggle, but they find a way. On 60 grand, you can afford it.

JinglingHellsBells · 17/12/2019 21:29

How many children do you have now at home?

If your DH is paying maintenance, that implies his are under 18 so do they live with you or his mother?

Honestly, I have no sympathy for you but feel very sad for your poor child.

You were both adults when you married again. You ought to have foreseen university costs as something on the horizon. And managed your outgoings accordingly.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 21:30

We have a mortgage, we pay maintenance and a few hundred a month on top, we had extensive building work to accommodate all the children, we have very high petrol costs due to the distance OH travels, we run two cars, we have high council tax etc etc etc we do not have spare cash and we live month to month.

Stop paying the few hundred a month on top (what is it for?) and use that for your son instead.

You have had the money to pay to extend your house, you have high council tax, you don't live near where your DH works, start looking at how you can cut costs. It is disgusting to have 60k a year income and to claim you cannot support your son at university.

You won't listen and are adding more and more drip feeds. I have better things to do with my time so goodbye.

Stupiddriver1 · 17/12/2019 21:30

Well its Student Finance not UCAS which is just the admission system.

But I agree it's totally unfair.

Does that also mean if a child's father was a very high earner but doesn't live with them they'd get the full amount? Surely it should go on earnings of anyone with parental responsibility? Or even better not take the earnings of parents into account at all. In no other circumstance does the earning of an adult who you're not in a relationship with affect what you get. Some students suffer as their parents can't afford to or refuse to top up. Some parents have multiple kids at uni, etc and it doesn't take that into account.

justcly · 17/12/2019 21:30

I'm at a loss to understand the hysteria. My OH and I have five DCs between us. She doesn't work; my income is 62k. My eldest started uni last year. He ticked the "non means tested" box on his loan application and he gets the tuition fee loan and the basic maintenance loan. So he lives at home. Thus we will be able to put all our kids through uni. If they choose not to live at home they will have to get a job.

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 21:30

"we had extensive building work to accommodate all the children"..bet you didnt need it. You have over spent and now you think your child will suffer. Honestly, how could you live with yourself telling your son he cant go to uni. Of course he can go. He gets the loan, you top it up. It's only what you would spend if he lived at home. If low income families can do it, so can you.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 21:30

Unless your £30K income could support you and your children, in your current home,with all its outgoings, then your DH is paying NOW for your children - ie financially responsible

Well it did for the 10 years before I met him.

OP posts:
Xenia · 17/12/2019 21:32

On page 4 I posted some legal points. I see now that the poster was not married to the father of the child. That does not affect Children Act rights for the student to claim from the parents for university support as unlike divorce law where there could be a court consent order dealing with university costs (as my divoce order does) the Children Act also applies to unmarried parents (it is also used by those living together when they spilt up sometimes to gain some money such as a house from a rich husband)

"There is another option available to children who may be worried about funding university fees if their parents aren’t prepared to help. A child over 18 years can make an application for financial support if they are in education as detailed above. This is covered by Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989, there are very similar considerations that the court must take into account but this is a claim that could be made against either or both parents".