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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider NOT giving teacher xmas presents

177 replies

LessIsNotMore · 17/12/2019 16:39

Between the three dc, there are about 7-8 teachers and TAs. There is also the school office, club leaders etc etc.

AIBU to either NOT give any of them presents or to JUST give them chocolate?

They will all get xmas cards.

OP posts:
redandwhite1 · 17/12/2019 20:25

Chocolates! Bought them when they were on offer and it works out what would be £5 boxes of chocolates cost only £1.70 each!!

Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark · 17/12/2019 20:26

I'm grateful to my children's teachers for doing a fantastic job.
However I've seen posts from teachers inundated with things they can't use, homemade cake etc they won't eat, cards that will end up straight for recycle.
I think a previous posters suggestion of a gift voucher for The Range etc is perfect.

lilgreen · 17/12/2019 20:26

I never even remember who have what it gave nothing so I doubt that very much.

lilgreen · 17/12/2019 20:26

*gave

BooseysMom · 17/12/2019 20:29

I only did it in primary school and then it was chocolate. But I've only got 1 DS.

Same here. Having just one is loads cheaper! DS is at primary and i bought chocs for all his teachers and TAs. He said there were 5! Then i get a box of nice biscuits for the lunch time supervisors and after school club ladies. I got a lovely card from the lunch time supervisors which they all signed and DS got loads of hugs. You should have seen his face..it was like "oh no not again!!

Jenpop234 · 17/12/2019 20:30

I'm a teacher and never expect presents. A thank you note or a heartfelt card would mean so much more. I keep all the cards children have written with genuine notes of thanks and in 11 years I only have 25. Presents are nice but thank you means so much more x

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 20:32

"I never even remember who have what it gave nothing so I doubt that very much."
Are you are teacher, if so, you need to brush up on your written English. Did you mean to say "who gave what and who gave nothing"?

ForalltheSaints · 17/12/2019 20:33

YANBU, especially as you have the same planned for each.

Moomin12345 · 17/12/2019 20:34

Why on earth would you? Will you also get gifts for the checkout staff at your local supermarket?

isittooearlyforgin · 17/12/2019 20:34

As a teacher, please don’t feel obliged to buy Christmas presents for us. A card will suffice especially if they have been fab with a little message to that effect. Christmas is such an expensive time of year. No teacher keeps track or judges. As with all presents only give if you feel comfortable with doing so.

Appletreehouse · 17/12/2019 20:35

We bought the breakfast/after school club staff a big tub of chocolates and DD made cards for her teacher and TA. We're not buying presents for the teacher, it's fine

beautifulstranger101 · 17/12/2019 20:40

I have never bought teachers presents. I get its a nice thing to do but then why do the presents stop at secondary school?! Do secondary school teachers not work just as hard? It just seems weird to me to get primary school teachers fancy gifts/cards (and the ones I have seen have all been rather fancy and a bit competitive amongst the mums) and then suddenly when you reach secondary school nothing!

Sotiredofthislife · 17/12/2019 20:40

When I had three in primary school, I used to put together a hamper that cost me about £30 including tea, coffee, fancy biscuits, chocolate Santa lollies, that kind of thing. It was cheaper than trying to buy for everyone all 3 were coming into contact with.

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 20:45

"When I had three in primary school, I used to put together a hamper that cost me about £30 including tea, coffee, fancy biscuits, chocolate Santa lollies, that kind of thing. It was cheaper than trying to buy for everyone all 3 were coming into contact with."
But why? Did you feel you had to for some reason?

purpleme12 · 17/12/2019 20:52

People feel they have to because it's almost like a 'social norm'. So many people do it now that people feel they have to.

I don't feel I have to but then I don't feel awkward about some things others do. Last year I gave a bar of chocolate (a step up from the normal size bars) for her teacher that was at the end of the year. I just don't have the money for presents
But I really don't feel the need to give a present at Christmas to teachers to be honest

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/12/2019 21:22

Giving teachers gifts was unheard of when my kids were at school in the eighties
I was teaching in the 80s and I got presents - flowers, chocolates etc.

Sparklybanana · 17/12/2019 21:43

My teacher parents had so many presents that they rarely really loved that I don’t buy either. Waste of time and environment impact. Nah. Quite happy to be stingy. What I am tempted to do is do a food bank shop and write that I donated in their name. Sorted. No crappy presents and MORE chocolate but an appreciation of thanks that actually makes somebody’s Xmas.

Ps. I asked my mum what she liked to get from her kids and she said that the ones that stood out were the ones where the kid had spent time making a card. There’s not a single best teacher mug to be found in their cupboard...

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 21:44

"So many people do it now that people feel they have to.".
But in reality a lot more people dont give gifts than do. People get carried away with it. It is something we have created ourselves. Lots of teachers on here say they dont want gifts. It's just silly.

Bluerussian · 17/12/2019 21:49

BooseysMom Tue 17-Dec-19 20:29:32
I only did it in primary school and then it was chocolate. But I've only got 1 DS.
......
I only had one too (heehee onetoo!), always gave Christmas present to his class teacher and at the end of the year. Chocolates probably figured, bottles of wine, book tokens. All part of the Christmas fun.

A friend of mine who taught in a primary school used to have loads of chocs given to her, they lasted a long time.

OhioOhioOhio · 17/12/2019 21:51

I'm a teacher. My kids have 13 teachers, tas etc between them. Thry are getting the 75p lidlt aldi chocolate thing. The nursery lot are getting coffee.

Rhayader · 17/12/2019 21:52

We all contribute to a paypal pool and buy Westfield vouchers so they can buy something in the sales.

purpleme12 · 17/12/2019 21:52

@TabbyMumz yes I was agreeing with that

IamMoana · 17/12/2019 21:54

M&S do the loveliest Bucks Fizz, two bottles for a fiver. One for the teacher and one for me on Christmas Day. Bow on the top & hand made card attached.

insanepizza · 17/12/2019 21:54

I am a teacher and I love a heart felt card.

I am appreciative of any gift that is given, it doesn't matter how small, in fact I've had some that are far more touching than those that are able to throw money at it and get competitive. I'd rather you have me a card/ something small and recognised the amazing support staff in school, my TA is awesome and I couldn't do my job without the office and other staff.

TheJoxter · 17/12/2019 21:55

I’ve never bothered with teacher Christmas presents, only ever end of year presents. Imagine being a teacher and having to go home with 20-30 bunches of flowers/boxes of chocolate/bits of tat!