Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

To consider NOT giving teacher xmas presents

177 replies

LessIsNotMore · 17/12/2019 16:39

Between the three dc, there are about 7-8 teachers and TAs. There is also the school office, club leaders etc etc.

AIBU to either NOT give any of them presents or to JUST give them chocolate?

They will all get xmas cards.

OP posts:

perfectstorm · 17/12/2019 19:41

All the teachers I know from outside school (so not my own kids' teachers) say that a voucher for somewhere like The Range - so they can get craft resources or little reward gifts that aren't from their own pockets - would be really brillant. I don't know if that's just the ones I know though.

They also say a thoughtful card, expressing in a sincere way that you've noticed something they've done to support your child, means more than a present.

ElfAndSafeKey · 17/12/2019 19:41

Teach would probably appreciate not getting yet more crap, TBH! Food gift is fine.

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 19:42

@Pfefferkuchen nah, plenty of people doing beyond 9 to 5 and get no thanks, very naive of you to suggest they do. My friend does 12 hours shifts as a nurse and gets nothing. Teachers are over glorified and very moany. They chose that profession and they get their pay at the end of each month like we all do. They do not deserve endless gifts at the end of the year when plenty of other sectors don't get the same. Do you also give your GP a gift? How about the lady behind the tesco till for scanning your groceries? Or maybe the train operator in charge of your daily commute? Im guessing it's a no to all of those.

MistyMinge2 · 17/12/2019 19:44

Maybe it's bah humbug, but where do you draw the line? I'm not getting teachers Xmas presents. I get them an end of academic year gift, that's enough.

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 19:45

Giving a gift says 'We appreciate you and are grateful'.

Of course but that isn't something that you do for every single person whose job has an impact on your life is it? Teachers do their job same as all other people but yet we are made to believe they deserve a thank you gift over others. That's not right in my opinion. There are a lot of jobs that actually benefit you that don't get thanks so for that I just think the amount of stuff teachers get is ridiculous in proportion to the little thanks others get and on top of that teachers constantly moan.

Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 19:47

plenty of people doing beyond 9 to 5 and get no thanks, very naive of you to suggest they do.

plenty do.
Many patients give a thank you to the nurses!
Staff in my local supermarkets do get a Christmas gift from management.
My local postman and binmen get gifts by many people

sure, some people get nothing. But many more do, and get also invit to at least a Christmas Party (whilst teachers have to pay for their own, so do nurses I know)

Just because you don't get anything doesn't mean no one else should. I get a Christmas bonus, unrelated to my April bonus. It's nice. I think the people dealing with my own children deserve the most thank you from me!

Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 19:48

There are a lot of jobs that actually benefit you that don't get thanks so for that

People in charge of my own children get priority on my list.

What do you think of gifts for hairdressers? Mine get loads for Christmas.

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 19:49

"We grew up with our parents giving gifts to the class teacher, head, school secretary, all the doctors and receptionists at the GP surgery. We gave to our neighbours too."

I grew up with the opposite. My parents gave gifts to none of them. It was not the done thing. Nobody gave gifts to these people, that I knew of. I dont either. Where does it end? Gifts to the person on the till in Asda, all the binmen, paperboy, hairdresser, nurse at the hospital, consultant at the hospital, roadsweeper, multiple postmen, multiple delivery drivers, pool attendant? Pilot that flew the plane on holiday, busdriver, coffee shop people? These people are all paid to carry out their role. It just gets silly.

stellarsky · 17/12/2019 19:49

In our school we have asked parents not to get us presents this year. No pressure.
I personally have donated to a food bank in lieu of gifts to my own dc's teachers.

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 19:53

Just because you don't get anything doesn't mean no one else should

That's not what I'm saying at all. If you struggle with comprehension then don't make assumptions. I'm looking at the wider picture. I get paid to do my job so don't need a thank you gift at the end of it, if you feel like you need that then maybe you should consider re-evaluating your self esteem?

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 19:55

These people are all paid to carry out their role. It just gets silly.

This is exactly my point. Volunteers deserve gifts, people close to you who actually go above and beyond deserve gifts but people doing the job they get paid for? Nah, it's greedy. Look at the posts where teachers say what they would like, how grabby!

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 19:55

What do you think of gifts for hairdressers? Mine get loads for Christmas.

I pay my hairdresser to cut my hair so why would I gift her a gift? That's ridiculous.

oblada · 17/12/2019 19:56

I never buy presents as like others I consider that they are doing their job, just like I do. A nice card/drawing from the children and some home truffles is all I do. I give home made truffles to a bunch of people I'm in every day contact with - colleagues, neighbours, cleaner, nursery staff, teachers. Hopefully they appreciate the gesture.

oblada · 17/12/2019 19:56

'Home made' !

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 17/12/2019 19:57

I don't do teacher presents. As the daughter of a teacher who used to get overwhelmed by them I know that often they end up given away. I'd say a nice card with a message from your child is appreciated as much if not more!

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 17/12/2019 19:59

Dailyjunglegrind I just want to make it absolutely clear that I do not have a spreadsheet. Nor do I prioritise the children who give me nicer presents.

Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 20:02

I get paid to do my job so don't need a thank you gift at the end of it, if you feel like you need that then maybe you should consider re-evaluating your self esteem?

my self-esteem is fine, thank you.

It's not about what YOU need, it's not the teachers who are asking for a gift, it's about basic manners and saying thank you to people you feel deserve a thank you.
I send flowers after being invited for diner. I thank my staff. I especially thank the teachers in charge of my kids.

Because why wouldn't I?
Some people go beyond their basic job, and I appreciate that. They don't have to, neither do I.

Newkitchen123 · 17/12/2019 20:03

Teacher here for many years
Had a few gifts over the years
Nice to receive but what I have kept are the end of year cards
Secondary so even more touching as it wasn't the norm

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 20:09

Some people go beyond their basic job, and I appreciate that.

Teachers don't really, they do the job they are paid to do. Unfortunately that job requires working many evenings, long hours and is underpaid but they chose that job. Same as olenty others who don't get thanks. So do you thank every single person who provides a service (paid or not) to you and your children? Im guess you don't.

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 20:13

it's about basic manners and saying thank you to people you feel deserve a thank you.

I thank people who deserve it. Often friends and family who support me or people who volunteer their services. Why does a person doing the job they are paid to do get a gift as "basic manners" when that isn't the case for everyone? Plus teachers now expect it so the meaning is sort of lost. For example, I recently gave someone a gift because they actually did go above and beyond for me and it wasn't their job and because they would never have expected a gift, they were so grateful. I doubt that's the case for teachers

bagginses · 17/12/2019 20:14

I am a teacher and I am not doing presents. My daughter's teacher is going off on maternity so we have got her a gift for that. Echo the lovely card sentiment.

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 20:16

"Otherwise I would be buying for 3 teachers, 2 TAs and office start"
But you dont have to? You are not obligated to? At High school there are at least 20 teachers, numerous TA's, team of school secretaries, Head, cooks, kitchen Assistants...the list goes on. Nobody buys gifts at High School. Why do they feel obligated to in infants and Juniors?

rookiemere · 17/12/2019 20:17

I've just skimmed through but if you're prioritising who to spend on I'd put cub/brownie/scout leaders at the top as these are voluntary positions and often get overlooked for being thanked.

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 20:21

I do sometimes wonder if people who give gifts to teachers, sports coaches etc, are doing it to curry favour for their child. I once knew a parent who did this a lot with sports coaches, and you can guess which child got a personal lift from the coach to matches, and got put in the best events.

GreytExpectations · 17/12/2019 20:24

I do sometimes wonder if people who give gifts to teachers, sports coaches etc, are doing it to curry favour for their child.

If mumsnet is anything to go by then yes, I'm certain they do

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Swipe left for the next trending thread