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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider NOT giving teacher xmas presents

177 replies

LessIsNotMore · 17/12/2019 16:39

Between the three dc, there are about 7-8 teachers and TAs. There is also the school office, club leaders etc etc.

AIBU to either NOT give any of them presents or to JUST give them chocolate?

They will all get xmas cards.

OP posts:
managedmis · 17/12/2019 17:02

Yeah, I'm not giving anything this year.

managedmis · 17/12/2019 17:03

Too much of a mine field : they don't drink, they're low sugar, allergic to fragrance, etc etc.

Whattodoabout · 17/12/2019 17:04

I’ve never given a teacher a Christmas present. End of year gift sure but not Christmas. Christmas is a tight enough time as it is for many families without worrying about buying for multiple teachers too.

Teachers do not expect anything, I teach and come from a long line of teachers.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/12/2019 17:06

Teachers- no.
Volunteers at Beavers/Cubs- I'm prioritising them.

Rainuntilseptember15 · 17/12/2019 17:07

Must admit being happy that dc are at secondary now and no presents are given!
(Less happy that I teach secondary and thus have never had a present Grin)

Yetanotherwinter · 17/12/2019 17:08

From what I remember of primary school it got a bit like a competition. Personally I would appreciate a card with some lovely words. When my son left high school I gave a lovely bunch of lilies to the two teachers who inspired and encouraged him the most, along with a lovely card. I think we all remember our fave teachers.

sexandthecityagain · 17/12/2019 17:11

My sons have a teacher and an assistant in their classrooms so I have just bought them chocolate. My daughter is in nursery so again I bought a couple of large tubs of chocolates seem to be gratefully accepted.

Normally some parents will do a whip round to get vouchers instead.

bridgetreilly · 17/12/2019 17:12

Cards are absolutely fine.

PleasantVille · 17/12/2019 17:15

Of course you don't need to give them a present, I don't suppose teachers would want their parents to be stressing about this.

stickerqueen · 17/12/2019 17:16

big box of chocolates for the staff room would be nice.
This year dd's in high school and has 13 teachers, 13 class ta's and 2 ta's of her own there's no way we can afford 28 teacher gifts. So i took 2 tubs of chocolates into the office yeaterday for them to put in staff room. I only realised dd had so many teachers on the weekend when she asked for 28 cards for the teacher i nearly fell off my seat.

Alte · 17/12/2019 17:16

I always gave teachers a small gift when the DC were in primary, usually just chocolate. Every teacher got the same, whether my DC liked the teacher or not (obviously only their class teachers and TAs, lol). I thought this was normal, but one year my eldest had a particularly bad teacher and I was the only parent that gave anything! I'd say just do what you can afford and, if they're old enough, what your DC want. Mine are in secondary now so don't do gifts any more, nobody does, so it's not like you'll have this for too long!

Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 17:20

You don't have to give anything. I think it's nice to give a card from the kid at least, but who cares otherwise.

ActualHornist · 17/12/2019 17:20

I'm not buying gifts. I have just told my boys to go and do their cards though!

We did £5 on a Costa gift card at the end of the year though.

BercowsFestiveFlamingo · 17/12/2019 17:24

Our primary discourages presents and I'm glad of it. Parents sometimes do collections but it gets difficult when there's job shares or many TAs. It needs to be fair and there's disagreement on who gets what. There's 3 teachers in dd's class and several TAs. End of the school year is enough. There's so much to give money for at school. The early years ask for a pound a week towards materials, there's school trips, £250 for the year 6 trip, various PTA requests, monthly charity events, donate bottles, chocolate, toiletries for events and then again for the local foodbank and/or homeless shelter. There's always something. It puts pressure on those on a low income. Our school would rather we donate to charity or give a small homemade by the children item. If people want to give them its up to them but there should be no obligation.

AnneElliott · 17/12/2019 17:25

I only did it in primary school and then it was chocolate. But I've only got 1 DS.

astuz · 17/12/2019 17:28

I'm a secondary school teacher , and it's very rare for a parent to buy for teachers. Pupils very occasionally buy a chocolate orange or something and/ or give cards (always gratefully received!).

I really wouldn't bother buying them - no teacher wants them anyway.

And I'd love to know, from people who do buy presents for primary teachers, what happens between your children leaving Y6 and starting Y7 - what makes you suddenly decide to not buy for teachers any more?

itispersonal · 17/12/2019 17:28

I'm a teacher and I really don't expect presents at Christmas. I also don't give my dd teachers/ TAs a present at Christmas. It's just another expense at a time when many can't afford.

End of the year is when I do give teachers and tas a gift as a thank you.

I also think it's crazy how many teachers now give Christmas presents to each pupil too.

riotlady · 17/12/2019 17:28

I was a TA and did not expect all parents to get me a gift! Some did, some didn’t, and I can’t tell you who was who now a few years later (bar the beautiful/terrible Pom Pom Xmas tree decoration one of the kids made that I still have on my tree!)

StinkyXmasCheese · 17/12/2019 17:30

I'm not! My Kid is in F2 though. 🤷🏼‍♀️

GiBlues · 17/12/2019 17:33

I always give a big box of biscuits for the teacher and TAs to share. Nice and easy and there’s always some on offer at this time of year

TrashPanda · 17/12/2019 17:35

I'm usually a bit rubbish and forget but this year I have done presents as it's DS1's last year and DS2's first. Gave a Celebrations/Roses tub per child, card addressed to teacher & TA plus all other staff at school. Given them today so they can go in the staff room for the last week.

Cherrysoup · 17/12/2019 17:36

Tin of Celebrations or something for the staffroom with a card saying thanks to all from so and-so’s parents.Much nicer than individual presents. You’d think our staff consisted of locusts when you see the tin emptied by lunch!

GruffaIoChrimbo · 17/12/2019 17:36

what happens between your children leaving Y6 and starting Y7 - what makes you suddenly decide to not buy for teachers any more?

I would imagine that, form tutor aside, it's because their kids could see 10 teachers over a broad and balanced curriculum rather than (usually) 1 teacher and 1 TA.
I got the odd form tutor gift in secondary and Xmas cards but a gift as an mfl teacher was rarer unless I just happened to be their favourite or gone out my way for them.

JaJoJe · 17/12/2019 17:37

I dont understand teacher Xmas gifts, I'm a gift giving type person who finds all sort of reasons to give a gift and this never even crossed my mind.

We give an end of year gift when the child moves class (more for my DS's sake) but thats it and honestly most teachers ditch gifts instantly because most teacher gifts are tat and they get about 60 a year (if people are doing end of year AND Xmas).

Charity shops thrive on gifts given to teachers lol.

FloppyBiffAndChip · 17/12/2019 17:39

I like to get the teachers a card - or better yet, get my DC to make them a card. We sometimes also give a little gift like chocolate or a pen or some smellies - nothing excessive.

The thing I REALLY hate is when parents decide to do some massive class present and expect all the other parents to chip in a fortune!! I personally think £150 worth of John Lewis vouchers is crazy and excessive and when parents can't afford to donate or don't want to, it just makes people feel crap!!! (Last year mrsbossypants (chief organising parent) gave a 'suggested donation' to all the other parents, of £10 per child for the class teacher present (with 30 kids in the class, that's £300 on a present!!! Insane!!) I gave £2 (f!*k the suggested donation) and signed the card, then did my own thing anyway (a homemade card from DC and some choc)