Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 16 year old in college doesn't need a job?

85 replies

StarShop · 17/12/2019 09:37

I posted a few weeks ago about my 16year old DS who has, through his school life had intervention for classroom skills in primary school, a scribe at Sat's and diagnosed with poor working memory in Y8. He got average Sat's results and good gcses, only missing targets by one grade and so doing resits at college for maths and English. A lot of people on here were of the opinion that he may have some sort of LD, as I mentioned the other aspects of his personality. He has done two dyslexia tests at college and they came up fine. He has also had in-house testing and they discovered nothing so I am going to GP to investigate, between myself, husband and teacher we think a touch of ADHD.

Whilst all this is going on, DS fell behind but with putting the hours in he has caught up and I've been surprised by the level of work he can actually do! What he lacks is detail but the teacher is managing to draw this out of him.

Alongside all that going on, DH thinks he needs to get a job as he expects so much from us. DS currently gets £10 a week college bursary and £20 per month pocket money. Most of that goes on junk food and his Xbox however he now has a girlfriend who is nearly driving and also works part time. DH says that DS will be wanting money to do stuff with her and he already expects us to subsidise him, for example, tonight he wants to bake at my house but needs extra ingredients, I will be paying for them and DH thinks that's a liberty because my DS has saved £27 that he currently has for her Christmas present.

I just feel that I want him to concentrate on college for now and I don't mind the little subsidies here and there for cinema trips, eating out etc. DH thinks I'm doing him no favours. I can see where he is coming from, he had to work when he was at college as did I as our parents didn't have excess money however we are in a position to help DS along which was always my dream.

Thoughts please, without insults Wink

OP posts:
QuickstepQueen · 18/12/2019 15:58

I think a part time job is brilliant for kids, we insisted upon it and it has helped their confidence massively - we still give them the same pocket money because it's not about saving money for us!

QuickstepQueen · 18/12/2019 16:07

I feel that once he has the taste of earning he won't focus on his school work. Seen it happen so many times. It has done the opposite for my kids - no way do they want to be stuck on minimum wage jobs.

superfandango · 18/12/2019 16:11

I think part time work is brilliant for young people. I used to work 4-8 in Currys after school one day a week, and 6 hours on a Saturday. It helped my confidence, gave me great real world experience, taught me the value of money/gave me a taste of financial independence and really prepared me for leaving school. I continued to work throughout my time at university - I had brilliant time management skills, my academic work didn't suffer and had I the added bonus of having actual paid employment on my CV when it came to applying for full time jobs after uni which showed I wasn't afraid of graft. I wouldn't have had that if my parents had just given me pocket money from the ages of 16-21.

QuickstepQueen · 18/12/2019 16:13

My nephew suffered from social anxiety getting a job in the local corner shop did amazing things for him - he really wishes he had taken a job when he was 16...

Letseatgrandma · 18/12/2019 16:16

I think a part time job is a brilliant idea. DS only worked 4h a week at 16 and this went up to 8h a week at 18.

Notnownotneverever · 18/12/2019 16:21

It depends on the hours that he attends college. If his course is full time and he has to attend most days and has work to do then it is beneficial for him to be focusing on this and working at his studies.
My DD's course is full time but she only has 2 days at college and no studying to do at home. She is looking for work as she wants the money and she is bored at home.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/12/2019 16:24

It's a hard one. I had a part time job when I was that age but I was doing a very easy course at college, not A levels. I think exams are a lot harder than they used to be and there is a lot more pressure on children.

19lottie82 · 18/12/2019 16:26

A PT job will teach him new skills and build his confidence. A 16 yo with a social life / girlfriend, will find it hard to have a life on less than £15 a week. Of course it’s doable but not very enjoyable. That’s almost the price of a single cinema ticket these days!

Fairylea · 18/12/2019 16:27

I think it’s really important for teens to have a job. It teaches them just as much as being at college does! Managing money, managing time, being in the adult world, the achievement of earning for yourself and the lightbulb moment that stuff actually costs! I think it’s vital and I think if people don’t work until they get to or even leave university then they’ve missed out on a lot of life lessons.

My dd is 16 and is doing her A levels and works part time in a cafe at the weekends. We pay for her contact lenses, basic clothes and her phone contract and she pays for everything else herself.

golfbuggy · 18/12/2019 16:31

I think it depends what he does with his time when he is off college.

If he spends most of it socialising/leisure activities then perhaps getting a job would be beneficial.

If he spends a huge amount of time working on college work, then I would agree that should take precedence.

QuickstepQueen · 18/12/2019 16:34

It's true that school teaches them the academics - going to work really improves their confidence and resilience - I think they will feel more confident managing their lives at Uni and speaking to our friend who is in charge of pastoral care at a well respected Uni - despite many kids have amazing exam results lots of them are really lacking in life/social skills (he was shocked by how many) - it seems that they concentrated on the academics a little too much at the expense of everything else and it does hold them back. I'm sure there are other ways to acquire these skills through interests and hobbies and some kids just seem to naturally develop them...depends on the teen I suppose - but I know mine needed a job!

Alsohuman · 18/12/2019 16:40

*I think it depends what he does with his time when he is off college.

If he spends most of it socialising/leisure activities then perhaps getting a job would be beneficial*

Exactly the point I was about to make. To my mind the benefits outweigh any detriment. He’ll learn some very valuable life skills in a job as well as having more money to play with. It’s never too early to develop a strong work ethic.

FruitcakeOfHate · 18/12/2019 16:50

Earning a bit of pocket money during breaks is fine, but during school, education should be the focus.

Working is an integral part of education. And nowadays, employers want people who can show they are reliable employees. An adult with no work experience is at a real disadvantage.

I8toys · 18/12/2019 17:20

I think its important for them to get a job as it teaches independence and the ability to take orders, prioritise, show initiative etc.

Our eldest is trying to get one at the moment but we go on lots of holidays so Christmas working is out.

He does work as a steward and invigilator for music exams now and again which is some experience I suppose.

FabbyChix · 18/12/2019 17:21

A levels are hard work I wouldn’t let my kids work when studying

Wintersnowdrop · 18/12/2019 17:25

I had a Saturday job in sixth form, just eight hours. My dd doesn’t have a job but she is working really hard and aiming And achieving top grades. A couple of her friends are working 20 shifts at Waitrose. They are failing to achieve at A levels. Not handing in work and performing badly. I think it’s good to focus on sixth form studies.

MitziK · 18/12/2019 17:35

He only gets £7.50 a week out of you as cash? A tenner in all before his phone? That doesn't seem like much.

QuickstepQueen · 18/12/2019 17:40

A couple of her friends are working 20 shifts at Waitrose. They are failing to achieve at A levels. Not handing in work and performing badly. I think it’s good to focus on sixth form studies. Is this is poor time management or poor motivation? It's not clear why these kids are performing badly. I think lots of kids are not suited to A levels, they do what their friends do. Both my nephews failed to achieve good A levels - they weren't working though, they were just not interested.

pinkyboots1 · 18/12/2019 17:44

My lad is 20 and at Uni... he's not working and I don't want him too... he budgets his loan remarkably well. He has ASD, ADHD and is Dyslexic so I'd rather he concentrate on his studies and do well than work. I'm on minimum wage so don't subsidise him other than providing him with packed lunches. Learning to budget now will help him with life skills

dayslikethese1 · 18/12/2019 17:44

When I was at 6th form I had a Saturday job as did all my friends. Unless college is a lot harder now than 15 years ago or hes really struggling with his assignments I'd say a job is a good idea.

UpperLowercaseSymbolNumber · 18/12/2019 17:46

The DS has

  • £60 a month in his pocket
  • a phone and music subscription paid for

If this is all for spends and not for clothes/basic toiletries then I think that is plenty. If he cuts down the junk food he will have plenty to spend going out with his girlfriend, he just needs to prioritise here. And in your shoes that is what I would be telling him.

In your shoes I would think working in the summer is the best option and keeping his focus on college work in between. But without additional top ups from you.

Citygirl2019 · 18/12/2019 17:47

My Dd is 17 (1st year at 6th form). She has a part time job. The contract is just 3 hrs per week, but she has had more leading up to Christmas.

I pay her phone contract, Spotify and any day to day expenses.

I wound not expect her to buy baking stuff, if she wanted to bake it wound be added to our shopping.

I still see her as a dependent. So any money she earns is hers. However, I do not give pocket money and never have. She has done jobs around the house to earn money since she hit her teens.

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 18/12/2019 17:51

My eldest dc was desperate for a pt job, finally got one when she turned 17 and is still there at 18 and at college. She loves having her own pin money and not having to ask us for cash.

windycuntryside · 18/12/2019 17:52

Only you know if he needs to work.
From what you say here, he is capable of working a few hours. What next? No working at uni either?

Bimmy76 · 18/12/2019 17:53

He has a full time job- he’s a student. That should come first. Working in the holidays is great but after school and weekends he needs time to study and to relax.

Swipe left for the next trending thread