AIBU to ask for her number?

[amIaweirdo]

The children are at ex’s house, he just told me he left them with his partner whom I’ve never met and he won’t be home until in the evening. He comes on WhatsApp when he can, WIBU to ask for his partners number so I can ask how the children are etc? Tell her to take DS nappy off when he wakes up, I know this is obvious but there’s times when he dropped the kids off Sunday lunchtime and DS is still wearing his pull up from the night before Am I weird for asking for her number even though I’ve never met her?

[Newbie1981]

Lol she never suggested going to get them so god knows why everyone is chatting about that!!!

[DianaT1969]

OP, I think you should give clear instructions to your ex only - it is his responsibility that the person he chooses to care for his DC carries them out. Whether that person is a paid carer, relative or girlfriend.

[DianaT1969]

Let's say the OP remarried. If the father wanted to pass on instructions about the children, he would do it to the mother, not the step father who might look after them some days. Anything else would be deemed strange and controlling.

[MeridianB]

How often has/does this happen? The whole day thing? If it’s a one-off then I’d leave it but doing this regularly completely defeats the object of contact.

Definitively speak to your ex about the pull-up and perhaps your older children could shame him into ‘remembering’.

Totally fine to suggest a brief meeting with her - maybe at drop off/collection.

[DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult]

You need to tell him.

She is looking after the kids in his time, it would be pretty offensive for you to start texting her with instructions on how to do various tasks and issue reminders.

How would you feel if you chose a babysitter and he demanded numbers and texted instructions on your time?

[Redglitter]

Since the weekend was NEARLY A YEAR AGO the situation is probably resolved.

Seriously how on earth do people find these threads to randomly resurrect them 🙄

[Storyoftonight]

@Betterbegoing

I think, gently, yea, ywbu. He is their parent too, and what happens on his time is, within reason of course, up to him.

Meaning because it's his time he can leave the kids with his girlfriend who OP doesn't know and has never met ?

[Storyoftonight]

Ah sorry - missed that this is a zombie !

[ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore]

There's nothing you can do here if you have an agreement in place. He is their father and he has clearly arranged childcare for when he's busy (working, playing, out), like any responsible parent would. That's all he has to say to a court, too!

[Pyewhacket]

ZOMBIE

[Imworthit]

Give your eldest a cheap phone and when you call to say goodnight or whatever ask them to let you speak to stepmum. It's up to her if she takes it.

[Imworthit]

A year ago wtf 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂