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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think weddings are an overpriced RIP-off?

76 replies

Bluffingwithmymuffin · 14/12/2019 09:06

I am currently planning my wedding in SE England but am increasingly frustrated at how much venues and caterers charge. I have a total budget of £15k but it seems to get swallowed up in an instant even for non-fancy venues. One eco-barn venue which stank of cow poo was charging £12k!!

AIBU to think the wedding industry is an uncompetitive arip-off industry?

OP posts:
Thehop · 14/12/2019 09:08

We found this. You add the “w” word to anything you double and treble the price.

I ended up getting my flowers the day before and just asked the florist to throw a bouquet together of whatever pretty pastels she had in the shop.

It was £40 and gorgeous.

The same florist wanted £240 to do me a “bridal bouquet” with a years notice.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/12/2019 09:08

They are just charging in line with supply and demand.

Nobody has to have a large wedding, the most important part of a wedding is the vows and the marriage itself. Everything else is just a big luxury party.

Finfintytint · 14/12/2019 09:09

There’s certainly money to be made but you don’t have to have an extravagant wedding. Plenty of options for a budget wedding.

BlodwynBludd · 14/12/2019 09:11

Elope! It was so much easier.

catspyjamas123 · 14/12/2019 09:12

If you think the ceremony is a rip-off just wait until you get to the divorce! Tip from me as a mum who earned more than my ex: Don’t do it....at least not without a pre-nup. The whole institution is out-dated and not fit for purpose.

AaronBurrSirr · 14/12/2019 09:14

Find a gorgeous country pub with Great food and decor you love for your reception. We did this and the whole wedding came to less than £7k!

supercalifragilistic123 · 14/12/2019 09:16

It can be done, you just need to be a bit creative. We did it for £9k in a country style hotel in zone 5. It was a few years ago (5ish) now but I don't believe prices have gone up that much.

We got married on a Friday just outside of wedding season. I made pretty much everything myself with a bit of help. My dress was preloved etc... I was very honest with our venue and they did what they could to keep the costs down.

LadyFlumpalot · 14/12/2019 09:27

As someone who used to work in the wedding industry... the reason people charge so much more for wedding things is because it is just that. A wedding. Arguably the most important and expensive day/party of a brides life. It requires a lot more skill, hours, the best of the best in supplies than for a child's birthday party etc.

I used to make wedding jewellery, I'd also make normal beaded jewellery too. People used to get sniffy because I charged more for wedding jewellery. That's because the wedding jewellery was made with real pearls, not glass ones. Swarovski crystals, stirling silver, not silver plated craft wire...

If you want to cut down on the spend then ditch the Pinterest items. Honestly, no one cares if you have chair covers, table runners, matching dressing gowns, bridesmaid bags, wedding favours, dancing flip flops, candy carts, donut walls. People want to be fed, watered, entertained and warm.

Hedgehogblues · 14/12/2019 09:29

Only if you make them so

Chista · 14/12/2019 09:34

I second the out of season week day, cost is much lower. You can find great deals too. Look on hitched, they have some great venues on their who also offer discounts

Rezie · 14/12/2019 09:35

That's because the wedding jewellery was made with real pearls, not glass ones. Swarovski crystals, stirling silver, not silver plated craft wire...
If I requested plastic pearl and silver plated craft wire and you'd know it was for my wedding. Would you still make it and would you charge wedding prices?

I noticed that places would either refuse the make the birthday version for a wedding or agree to do it but would charge the wedding version regardless.

TwiddleMuff · 14/12/2019 09:35

I know it's a race to the bottom-wedding-budget on these types of threads, so I'll just get there first - mine was about £350, a registry office and pub. Simple and meaningful. Don't do it OP! Think of all the stuff you could do with that £15k!

CherryPavlova · 14/12/2019 09:39

The word wedding adds to the price, undoubtedly. We originally thought 20k for our daughter’s wedding but it’s coming in at more. We have used local contacts to try and reduce costs a bit but it’s still things like wedding photographers and wedding makeup that add up.

BeanTownNancy · 14/12/2019 09:39

Mine was less than £5k in the South East 4 years ago. Friday afternoon in September, golf club, 40 people for sit-down meal with wine, evening disco and buffet for 100, friend made a cake, I made roses out of felt for my bouquet, dress from China, mum did a sweet table. We got free use of the mini golf on site and I hired a close-up magician for an hour.

Several of my friends have since told me it was the best wedding they have ever been to because it was fun and chilled, so spending lots of money isn't everything.

mrsbyers · 14/12/2019 09:41

Get married at Christmas , the place is already decorated and usually some fantastic deals around between Christmas and New Year - ours was 28th and was wonderful

Disillusioneddaisy · 14/12/2019 09:44

This is why me and my fiancé will be getting married abroad. Why spent thousands feeding a bunch of people when you can have a two week holiday instead! You can always have a party when you're back with a buffet rather then a sit down meal.

If you're set on having a wedding at home then you can do it cheaply but you might just have to lower your expectations. I know someone who paid about 2-3k for their whole wedding but they had it at a working men's club type venue which isn't for everyone.

LadyFlumpalot · 14/12/2019 09:52

@Rezie - no, I would make what you requested and charge accordingly. However, I would ask you to agree in writing to that effect and acknowledge that you were responsible for your plastic beads and craft wire not looking as good as the "real" items. Craft wire tarnishes, isn't as strong, it degrades and snaps after a while. Plastic beads chip really easily, the coatings peel off.

Unfortunately I've been stung before where someone asked for the cheap version then plastered crappy posts all over social media when the above happened calling me a scammer.

CycleWoman · 14/12/2019 09:52

It is expensive but you can do it for less than 15k. I had a wedding for 80 in London, we had a brilliant time and it came in well under your budget.

-found a lovely registry office (understand that is easy in London not to much in the countryside)
-gastropub reception and dinner (free bar for wine and beer)
-fleet of maxi taxis from venue to reception rather than wedding cars
-high street wedding dress (which I absolutely loved and managed to sell on really easily).
-I didn’t do things like wedding favours/order of service/flowers at venue/reception
-asked my friends for contacts! Friends of friends happened to do hair and flowers as a hobby

There are loads of forums and threads about doing it on a lower budget.

AlwaysThereForEveryoneElse · 14/12/2019 10:02

It can be as expensive or cheap as you make it

We did ours cheaply. Could of saved and gone all out but was pointless.

We did registry office
A few drinks and a wine bar locally after
Then a meal. Just myself and dh that eve.

Then the weekend after a big family meal

DH had suit already.
I got an occasion dress, so did eldest bridemaid. (debenhans and dorothy perkin) £100 for both in sale.. Perfect match
2 small bridemaid dresses.. Matalan. £35 each
Bridemaid hair accessories.. Peacocks. Again perfect color match
My hair accessory. From accessorize.
Bridemaid shoes next £20 a pair.
My shoes I thought would be a pain as my dress was funny shade in a specific color.. Every pair I ordered that described the same were very different. I wandered in shoe zone and there was an almost identical match £15 they were very comfy.

DH had his suit.
I. Ordered the ties. From ebay.. Ordered 1 for the color. Again was near as It Would so ordered the rest £4 each

My mum paid for cake £150 2 tier and some. Cupcakes and favors for the little kids. and flowers they were cheap £100 for everything as knew people I that field

Of course there were other little bits and bobs but the total was less than 1000

Everyone said how lovely and relaxed it was.. Not being ushered from ceremony to drinks and canopes to sit down meal to disco or whatever

There was no stress it was bliss.

ElfAndSafeKey · 14/12/2019 10:11

It depends what you want. Of course if you want the full wedding venue, full day white wedding with all the trimmings it's going to cost a lot.
You could also do the registry office and hire a cheap hall for a reception version for a lot less.

Schoolchoicesucks · 14/12/2019 10:15

My wedding cost about £5k 8 years ago. Edge of London. Most of that was on food & drink. It was a great day. I am so pleased that we didn't go into debt, didn't have to wait for 5 years of saving up for it, didn't spend the equivalent of a house deposit on one day.

Decide what is important to you and focus on that. If it's a £3k dress and matching chair covers and make up artists and a lavish stately home then it's going to cost a bomb.

If it's having people you care about having a good time then it can cost as little as you want it to.

RandomMess · 14/12/2019 10:20

I know someone that hired out Pizza Express for the day for their reception and was half the price of the equivalent catering in a hotel.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 14/12/2019 10:24

We had a white wedding but it was at 3.30pm on a thursday then meal at reception venue around 6pm.No nightlife buffet was needed.Saved loads.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 14/12/2019 10:25

Night time not nightlife

daisypond · 14/12/2019 10:29

You’re choosing to buy into it, though. It’s not compulsory. My wedding cost about £200 in total.

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