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AIBU?

Do you talk openly about your salary with others?

108 replies

toodlethenoodle · 13/12/2019 19:48

I was offered my dream role within my current company after I gave in my notice after working in a different part of the business. The CEO then got hold of my CV and I negotiated hard and secured myself a 59% pay rise.
In my new office there is a lot of open chat about salaries, bonus' and benefits. A lot of my co workers are unhappy with their salary. I was approached during the week by my co workers and asked outright what my salary was as many people in the office have suspicions that they're being paid half as much as me especially since I was asked personally by the CEO to stay.

I have explained that I have never and will never speak about my salary with anyone as its information that is personal to me. I seem to be a 1 person department so I don't know enough about anyone elses roles and responsibilities to know whether they could negotiate for more.

Is this way of thinking strange? Am I being unreasonable not giving this information to give others the chance to renegotiate?

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OoohTheStatsDontLie · 13/12/2019 20:41

Not at all.

At my work whenever anyone has found out what anyone else earns, it has caused issues, people start resenting other people or management for not being 'fair' etc rather than focussing on what they can do to earn more. I think asking for a pay rise on the basis that 'x gets paid this' is a shit reason compared to 'I have accomplished x y and z and my market rate is this'. Everyones salary is between them and their employer and is dependent on a lot of things, as well as skill it's how often you move jobs and how good at negotiating you are

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Boxerbinky · 13/12/2019 20:41

I never disclose mine - but it seems to be thing to do now. Pain in the arse when you are offering one member of staff a discreet increase and they blurt it to everyone. Everyone then believes they are worth the same amount - rarely in my experience is this the case!

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OoohTheStatsDontLie · 13/12/2019 20:42

I think it's very different in public sector though it's a lot more transparent

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mindproject · 13/12/2019 20:45

I love to shock people by telling them I earn 13k.

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SisyphusHadItEasy · 13/12/2019 20:45

I work in the public sector, so my salary is a matter of public record. However, I do not and would not ever discuss pay rates with anyone.

As far as I am concerned, it is the equivalent of asking a woman's age and weight.

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SonicVersusGynaephobia · 13/12/2019 20:49

Employers making you be secretive about salaries is how women end up getting paid less. Because you don't know if you're being paid fairly if you don't know what your colleagues on the same level are getting.

My last two employers refused to publish payscales, or put salaries in job adverts, and said they were not to be discussed. They have massive gender pay gaps (and, in fact, equal pay gaps).

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Elvesdontdomagic · 13/12/2019 20:53

I never talk about money, I even find it hard with my nearest and dearest let alone friends or colleagues. I also think it's rude they asked you.

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puppymouse · 13/12/2019 20:55

Nope. Got a payrise and renegotiated compressed hours as part of a restructure earlier this year. Haven't mentioned a thing. I have heard since a colleague at the same grade in the wider team has been refused a pay rise. We have nominal pay scales so always roughly knew ballpark brackets of colleagues' salaries but found out someone who happened to be underperforming earned more than anyone else in the team simply because she negotiated harder when she joined the business.

Sad reality of corporate life.

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Doryhunky · 13/12/2019 20:55

I do now because it is the conspiracy of silence that allows women to be underpaid.

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rvby · 13/12/2019 21:01

Yeah, if you dont reveal your salary you are literally only benefitting the rich, at the expense of your fellow workers.

I discuss my salary with anyone who asks but I dont start the conversation because of how uncomfortable some people can be.

The cultural attitude of dont ask dont tell is literally designed to keep wages as low as possible, and profits as high as possible...

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MistyCloud · 13/12/2019 21:02

@toodlethenoodle

You managed to get them to raise the salary they were offering by almost 60% because they wanted you sooooooooo badly.

OK then! Hmm

Happens to everyone I know this. Happens every day. Companies just LOVE to more than double the wage they are offering! Wink

I suppose they were offering £4 an hour and raised it to £6.25 an hour hmmm? Nah, you'll be on £100K I am sure.

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toodlethenoodle · 13/12/2019 21:07

@mistycloud Yes I went up 59.26% because they wanted me to stay and I negotiated hard.

If you need any tips give me a shout. I can't help you with your jealousy though sorry.

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MistyCloud · 13/12/2019 21:08

Ok then LMFAO.

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MistyCloud · 13/12/2019 21:09

And I am sure you're not on £23K eh? Obviously at LEAST £75K of course. Wink

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StrawberryTot · 13/12/2019 21:10

I work in the NHS, we all know what each other are on due to banding and how long they’ve been in position. Mine is mega shit by the way and I work my ass off.

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Maneandfeathers · 13/12/2019 21:10

We are very open in my workplace, I don’t know why it’s such a big secret anyway.

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toodlethenoodle · 13/12/2019 21:17

@MistyCloud You haven't got your basic maths right.

59% is not doubling a wage. 59% is the increase between the first and second wage.

Come back when you can count.

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toodlethenoodle · 13/12/2019 21:18

Grin Grin Grin Grin

You've made my day @MistyCloud. Embarrassing.

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Candlebarbara · 13/12/2019 21:18

I do now, anything to address the gender pay gap.

Why shouldn’t we discuss, compare, be encouraged by our salary?

Why are we ashamed of our earnings?

I earn £85k. Started out on a ‘proper graduate’ wage, £23k.

Before that I had a paper round, £5 a week. I then trebled my wages, got £15 a week by taking on a morning round.

Had a job in a pub, £100 a week ish.

Had a job in a shop, £100 a week ish.

Graduated, £23k. Several promotions and a job change later,£85k

I’ve got 2 masters degrees, professional qualifications and experience.

Why don’t people talk openly about this stuff?

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PurBal · 13/12/2019 21:18

I do. But I've recently started and everyone knows what was in the JD.

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OhTheRoses · 13/12/2019 21:19

Not in RL. If anyone is rude enough to ask I say "an adequate sufficiency". The odd nosy parker at work asks how many bedrooms I have. Same answer.

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peonypower · 13/12/2019 21:22

I don't tell anyone mine. I know my teams salaries though and although many of them are at the same grade & job title, their pay varies quite a bit due to experience and what they negotiated on joining.

Oh and I got a 40pct pay rise under very similar circumstances so it's entirely possible. They had to more than match what I was being poached for, and promote me.

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HerRoyalNotness · 13/12/2019 21:23

Our grades and salary bands used to be published on the company intra web. We could then make an educated guess. They took them down and it’s now secret info. I always did know that I was the Lowest paid of my colleagues. My manager laughed when I went in for a 15% pay rise and said they paid new graduates what I earned. The smug prick. I did get 10% that year, the following year back to shitty 3% with everyone else. When I left them I got a 40% payrise, my new company didn’t even blink when I asked for the amount.

However it’s all irrelevant as I’m now unemployed.

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HerRoyalNotness · 13/12/2019 21:24

My old company was so arrogant that if you say you’ve been offered a new job at x money, they say ok then we’ll miss you. They have plenty of people lined up to work for them.

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ByAppointmentTo · 13/12/2019 21:27

I don't. I've had more than one job when there's been a clause in the contract to say that discussion of salaries is forbidden.

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