To have cried!

[7dayslater]

I'm 19. DS is 18 months.

I live with DP & DS. I work hard, I have 2 jobs. DP works too. So, no we don't just sit on our arses, but we still need UC help to pay the bills. I want(ed) to train and work in the NHS. I'm also interested in politics.

So yeah, when I woke up this morning and saw the election result I cried. Austerity is very real, it's not a joke or a fictional story. With the way it is right now, I cannot afford an education. I cannot afford to study for a career. I'm stuck where I am.

Sadder still, others have it far worse. There are children in poverty, a homelessness crisis, the NHS is crumbling when people need it more than ever. I can respect democracy. I can respect the vote. But I have to ask, for people like me - what now?

I was pretty upset last night / this morning as well.. I’m a single mum, disabled, a benefits claimant. I think part of it is knowing what the majority of people in this country think of me and my children (I know it’s more complicated than that, but that’s my honest emotional reaction). I’m also genuinely nervous about what the next 5 years will bring under a conservative government; and being as I live in Scotland, what’s likely to happen in terms of indyref2.

I don't think it's fair that university should be free but do think the student loans should be interest free for 20 years then interest charged after that
NHS degrees I think you should have options something like chargeable like they are now or the NHS fund it but you are tried to them for 10 years or 15years with a loyalty payment at the end of that .

most people I know with degrees are higher than average earners
Told my kids basically your degree will cost 40k on average you will earn 12k a year more so over a 40 year career you will earn 480k more for an investment of 40K

I cried too op and I bloody despair that toxic vile people think it's OK to say horrible things. On here and in real life.
My daughter is 20 and we both cried because we care. Shoot me down for having empathy for fellow humans.

@churchandstate I'm 34, and no, frankly. You're either an adult at 18 or you're not. You don't get a 'do over' automatically because you screwed up as a teenager.

People OP's age have some of the best opportunities there have ever been. The most help available to find them and to get a place on them. She chooses to work! She could be in education as a full time student, with student loan if she is so arsed about progressing in life. Yet she is moaning about having two incomes in her household instead.

Last year we were struggling with a £700 mortgage, I was severely ill, a toddler DS, no childcare funding or support or help, and DH on a £16k a year shift work job with minimal tax credits. That had to cover the three of us, all bills, food, debts, everything.

If we can do it, then a 19yr old already under council housing, free childcare soon and better education opportunities can crack on with it and get her head down too.

I wasn’t counting on Corbyn to wave a magic wand and make it all better

I don't think many/any of us were. Some of us are simply desperate for the tide to turn.

OP and her DP work hard but still need UC to make ends meet. Is it really so hard to see that this is not how life should be?

Working people have been paying into a system that gives them nothing back for years now. When people get judgey about benefit recipients, to me it always comes across like they've forgotten how the system works - people PAY IN and are thus entitled to get something back when they're in need. If people are entitled to benefits, in the majority of cases that means they've earned the right to them. It's not free candyfloss and a pony thrown in like a lot of Tory voters are fond of making out.

'As a child who grew up on an estate and benefited from benefits I don't want other kids to get the same chance I did' is all I'm hearing from some of you lot.

Andysbestadventure

I really don’t see why not. I see no benefit in being punitive and limiting people’s life chances out of pique and schadenfreude. It’s just a bit immature.

I care and this thread makes me realise that some people do care a lot.

I have not had it easy through my life and am certainly not rich but I take responsibility for the decisions and choices I have made.

Having a child is a choice and why have one if you can't afford it? If people want children they should pay for them not expect benefits to pay for them.

Sick of hearing about "accidental" pregnancies. For goodness sake it's 2019 not 1819! Yes I know contraceptives can fail but the failure rate is nowhere near as high as the supposed accidental pregnancies.

@rwalker Why isn't it fair? Because you went uni and was saddled with debt and want others to suffer the same? I can't see a reason why everyone shouldn't get the same chance other than elitism.

Really selfish to want to study paeds nursing to better your families lives and those who you care for at work

Some really nasty, bitter, disgusting people on here.

I am, and know plenty of professional, successful women who had a child at a very young age and retrained later. We had the huge benefit of not trying to rear babies and toddlers in our thirties.

The key is not to have more babies ten years along the line! You’ll get where you want to get if you want it enough.

Bust she studied media 🙄

@Thestinkycheeseman so all of your decisions when you are younger were great? What's wrong with changing your mind and deciding that nursing, something very valuable for society that we are short of, is something you'd like to do? Honestly baffled.

Ah it makes sense now. It's about feeling superior to people. "I managed it" "I took responsibility" "if we can anyone can"... People have different obstacles they need to climb to pull through things, I'm not a fan of chucking more at them because if Bob can do it, then why cant Dave.

churchandstate Fri 13-Dec-19 13:25:41
And can people be a bit kind, please? This poster is 19 with a toddler, and this morning may have been the first time she realised her fellow citizens can be such selfish shits.
......
Yes. I get where she is coming from.
t I
All I can say to the op is that this will not last forever. I've lived through two recessions and recent austerity, the first recession was very bad for me and mine, second one and austerity doesn't affect me personally but I'm an 'oldie', have my pension. If I was a young person with a child I would naturally be worried and I am worried now about other people.

Take heart, it won't be long before people realise what a mistake it was to vote Conservative at this time and that there is more to government than Brexit.

The trouble is that it would be lovely if society truly was meritocratic. But it isn't. It's the myth that 'working hard makes you successful and better off' but it really doesn't. Nor does it mean you are clever if you are rich, nor does it mean you are thick or make bad decisions if you are poor. But it is scary to think that you could end up like that so people like to ascribe 'fault' to those who are in that situation, because 'if I'm not stupid and don't make bad choices I can never end up needing support'.

Reality: anyone can become disabled. Anyone can become mentally ill. Anyone can have family tragedy, (almost) anyone can be made redundant, but more importantly: anyone can be born into a social situation where their chances in life are automatically made so much harder, just because of the place and time and family into which they were born. That doesn't mean you can't change it but it's really disingenuous to say that it's as easy to become a millionaire if you come from being in care with a troubled childhood as it is if you had a loving family and a private education.

why is everyone so nasty

Don’t be unpleasant. Accidental pregnancies happen. Being young and pregnant and still determined to get on with studies and work takes stamina and guts (as frankly the alternative is easier) & the OP doesn’t deserve any flack from us for this. Be nice!

OP, I was a (full time working) Young single parent for 10 years so I get where you’re coming from. Yes, you and your partner are going to struggle but keep at it, it will pay off. And no, many of us felt really sad this morning, even those of us who were expecting it. Welcome to British politics! We’re a conservative country by and large and what Labour were proposing wasn’t what the country was ready for. Unfortunately, if you’re liberal left, this is what you’re going to have to get used to. It gets easier (if still sad making!)

Wow just wow! Get a grip people ffs! So your chosen party didn't get in. This is what happens when you live in a democracy.
Yes some people have it bad but there is always a way. I work with the homeless and people with substance misuse issues. The people who struggle the most in society. But crying. Really? Just no need. You're an adult, get on with your day.

Everything in life IS about individual choice and action. You can do anything or be anything if you make the right choices, work hard and don't wait for life to fall in your lap.

But that's just blatantly untrue. If there are eg 101 people who want to train to do something and there are 100 training places one of them will lose out, even if all of them are equally hard working.

@churchandstate And I don’t believe there is one person on here who has never relied on people being kind, or just been fortunate in where the chips fell. Yes this with bells on.

@maxbabi Shoot me down for having empathy for fellow humans. - Yes this exactly.

@Thestinkycheeseman Looking down on media studies while consuming media every single day of your life. I have to laugh.

But I'm not the one winging about it as one of my life choices

Come to Scotland !
We still pay burseries here and you will get help with childcare too.
Housing is cheaper, people are friendly and the countryside is easy to get to and so beautiful .