To wonder why there is no help available for me? I’m in desperate need!

[TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart]

I have posted before although I had the threads deleted for fear that I may have outed myself. If anyone recognises my username, you’ll remember that I was at absolute breaking point a few months ago.

Since then, I went to my GP and have been taking antidepressants whilst waiting for a telephone appointment with our local mental health team.

My mental health problems mainly stem from an abusive parent and then some abusive relationships. As a result of all of this, I hate myself and feel physically unclean because of the bad choices I have made as a result of this abuse.

The wait for the telephone appointment was awful but today was the day. I felt nervous but also pleased that I had made it this far.

After a 45 minute consultation, I was advised that they only offer CBT and that what I need is to process the things which happened in my childhood and early adult years. CBT wouldn’t be helpful for this, at least not until I have had some counselling.

I was given links to various charities and also private counsellors but the cheapest available is £50 per session which I just can’t afford. So I’m back to square one. I just want to get better! Why will no one help me? I’m sitting here crying because I just can’t find a way out of this 😢

I hear you! I’m in the limbo of waiting for counselling too, but I need to get back to work. It’s awful, and I feel awful. It’s a lonely place to be.

Somebody I know needed some counselling recently, and was able to get a much reduced rate through a charity (maybe Mind?) have you explored this route?

I’ve looked at mind but the nearest place is an hour away. A 2 hour round trip (without any bad traffic).

YANBU, but services are cut to the bone and will likely get worse with an unchecked Conservative gov't.

I had CBT through the NHS. It was wholly unsuited to what I was going through, but fortunately my counsellor understood this and tailored my sessions as best he could. We still had to complete the CBT paperwork each session, but then I'd just talk and talk. He'd ask gentle questions to guide me.

If it's your only option I would at least try it. He was even able to extend the number of sessions to ensure I had longer support. Explain in the first session what support you feel you need. Use the sessions to unload. Good luck.

Hope you didn't vote Conservative!

Hope you didn't vote Conservative!

Most definitely not!

Hope you didn't vote Conservative Seriously? Grow up and have some compassion.

Lots of counsellors will have a sliding scale, OP - some advertise this on their websites and others you will need to ask.

I know that this probably feels like a mountain to climb right now, but try to ring round a few people local to you and see what they offer.

The NHS embraced CBT lite as a panacea for all ills, and whilst it's great for some things, it really isn't for others.

I was offered cbt put I pushed for emdr which worked brilliant for my ptsd. Is this an option?

I'm so sorry for what you're going through OP💐
it sucks that proper help isn't available on the NHS but have you tried looking here
www.bacp.co.uk/
some people will do online consultations via Skype, I think you should be able to find a therapist who'll charge less than £50 an hour, even one session a month could help if you are able to put in the time to do some journalling work in between
there is also the stately homes thread on here which sounds as if it might be a place you could get some support?

OP, have you looked for counsellors charging sliding scale? www.bacp.co.uk/ might be able to help.

Hope you didn't vote Conservative!

Are you going to do that on various threads where people are distressed?

There's probably a 3rd sector organisation in your area that offers free counselling. I know there are several in the area I work in. There's also a Women's Centre and that offers excellent services.

Unfortunately there is a massive gap between IAPT and Secondary MH services and many people do not meet the referral criteria for either service. There is nothing commissioned for those that fall within the gap.

There are lots of other private organisations offering counselling services obviously you have to do a certain amount of work to screen them and look at the reviews but with Skype you can choose someone who isn't in the UK so you have a much wider pool to look in.
The out of the fog website is also quite good if you want to have a read
outofthefog.website/
I hope you find some peace of mind soon 💐

I just read yet another article today about a poor 20 year old who killed him after being discharged from A&E.

I honestly know that I too would have been the same if I hadn't met my current therapist. His normal (in london) fee is £63 for an hour. I wouldn't be able to afford that long term. I see him for £23 less per session and sometimes it's been every other week.

I think it might be possible to also see counselling students who are still learning, but I wanted someone with experience in trauma and BPD.

Try connectcounselling.ie/ they have free phone counselling service for Ireland (1800 477 477) and the UK and Northern Ireland: (00800 477 477 77) you can ring as a once off or arrange for sessions on the phone with the same counsellor long term. They offer specialist support for those who have had childhood abuse of any kind.

Please take care @TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart

Sending love OP. Have you ever spoken to NAPAC? Or 1 in 4? Both are charities supporting adults abused as children.

I wish I had an answer. There are charities offering free or low cost therapy, but it’s hit and miss as to what is available in your area.

Two hour round trip isn't great, but sounds like it's worth it for something so fundamental to your recovery. Can you at least try it?

Another route is via your employer. If you work for a state run company, or perhaps a multinational, you can go via your Occupational Health department. Occupational health simply process the referral, you don't have to even tell them why you need it.
I appreciate this might not be applicable to you, but I often point colleagues in this direction to get much needed help.

freepsychotherapynetwork.com/organisations-offering-low-cost-psychotherapy/

I'm sorry you don't have the support you need. I know you say CBT isn't what you need, but I found it amazingly helpful if I used it to focus on a specific, key problem arising. You can, in osme areas, get free CBT instantly via the NHS if you do it online. I really loved the anonymity of being online. And not having to leave home to travel to and from a counsellor when feeling incredibly emotionally vulnerable. I was surprised and impressed how useful those six sessions were (never enough, I know. Sticking plaster on an open wound. But it is free and the counsellor I had was wonderfully helpful.

OP, try googling therapists in your area and approaching the ones you feel might help and ask if they offer a reduced rate for the low-wages/those in financial hardship. Many do offer this, even if they do not explicitly advertise the fact. It is well worth asking. Therapists want to help people, and many will try and meet you where you are at financially if they see you are in need.

OP - I'm sorry I can't find a link online for you, but I'm fairly sure (I have a friend who is a clinical psychologist) that the process is to go through the CBT first and then if that hasn't worked, they offer you the counselling.

Are there any women’s centres or DV organisations locally? They may offer support or counselling.

What about therapists/counselling via Skype or similar?