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AIBU?

AIBU to move home to Scotland?

86 replies

thiscouldbethehill · 13/12/2019 09:48

I’m Scottish, my DH is English and we have two young Welsh DC. We are currently in a position to think about moving and I really want to move home but my DH is worried about how it will be in Scotland over the next few years. We met at Uni in Scotland so he has lived there before and he loves the country but is worried about bad feeling towards the English now that Scotland will be ramping up towards another referendum.

Politically we are left wing and are gutted by the result today. It has certainly made me even more likely to want to move.
My hometown where I would like to move back to is near a big city and has a pretty mixed population so I don’t think it would be much of a problem. What do you think?

Thanks

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Am I being unreasonable?

199 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
16%
You are NOT being unreasonable
84%
Saddler · 13/12/2019 09:49

Yes please do

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shippa · 13/12/2019 09:54

Don't mix up feelings toward the English and feeling towards the political system.

I'm Scottish, living in Scotland. I don't particularly crave independence but my vote had to reflect I don't want Brexit and I certainly don't want a conservative government. There is no way I'd have voted Corbyn either to be fair. There will be lots of people in my boat I think.

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thiscouldbethehill · 13/12/2019 10:00

@shippa I completely understand this. I would have been tempted to vote SNP myself. My DH doesn’t think the way Scotland voted is anti English at all, he is just concerned because of how unpleasant the feelings got during the last referendum.

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Dinoctoblock · 13/12/2019 10:01

I voted for independence and to remain in the EU. I don’t have bad feeling towards English people. I feel very angry towards English politicians at the moment. I feel that Scotland is a very different nation to England.

Sadly I think your DH is BU to think Scotland we will get another independence referendum. Boris will never allow it and he’s going to be in power for years. Sad

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BlaueLagune · 13/12/2019 10:02

I did say to my husband yesterday that I was a bit worried about our holiday in Scotland next year. We'll have to wear stickers saying "we didn't vote Tory".

Not sure if I am altogether joking.

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Macca84 · 13/12/2019 10:06

I'm english and live just south of the border - seriously considering moving over the border! I'm gutted by the results and think the people of Scotland deserve a second indyref. Sadly I don't think Boris would allow it.

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Mintjulia · 13/12/2019 10:15

I’d not make any decisions in such a short timeframe.
Leave the dust to settle, because people’s reactions to each other will become less acute. If you both still feel the same way in six months, maybe then....

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ChristmasSpirtsOnTheRocksPleas · 13/12/2019 10:18

I’ve never seen anything like that in Scotland, they all seem lovely up there.

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ohprettybaby · 13/12/2019 10:21

Your DH may be correct in considering anti-English feeling. I have Scottish relatives who have told me of anti-english feeling in Scotland. This was before Brexit and the Independence Referendum. I'm not aware of anti-Scottish feelings by English people.

Is this the only reason your DH is wary of moving to Scotland? Maybe he just doesn't want to move? What about finding jobs and housing? Are your DC of school age and, if so, are you happy with reports of the education system in Scotland failing?

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ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 13/12/2019 10:27

Lots of English people vote SNP. The SNP even have English councillors, MSPs, MPs.

Do not confuse disdain for anti-Scots English politicians, like the appalling ignoramus Corbyn, with dislike of ordinary English people.

Your husband will be welcome here.

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Backtoreality1 · 13/12/2019 10:28

As an English person who has lived in Scotland for the last 20 years, I am delighted to have finally moved away. Don't get me wrong, the country and most of the people are amazing. However, as an English person i was ALWAYS going to be an outsider and the anti-English sentiment in what is a culturally diverse area of Scotland was growing. Even with friends, it made politics, sporting events all really difficult - especially when what was said was referred to as 'banter' instead of xenophobia. Please think very carefully for the sake of your husband and your children.

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PinkyU · 13/12/2019 10:32

I’m interested to know what area you lived in and what things you had said to you backtoreality

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MrsFoxPlus4Again · 13/12/2019 10:37

Come home Xmas Grin

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thiscouldbethehill · 13/12/2019 10:40

Thank you for your replies. To be clear my DH loves Scotland and the Scots and is only trying to consider every possibility when it comes to moving in what are undoubtedly divisive and difficult times all over. To answer some other questions we are lucky enough to be financially comfortable and my DH is very employable so that isn’t a problem. Also, the high school in my local area is one of the best in the country.

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Babdoc · 13/12/2019 10:41

I’m English and have lived in Scotland for 45 years. I wouldn’t advise anyone to move here while there is still a risk of it becoming independent.
Scotland depends on the Bank of England to underwrite all its financial services, banks and institutions, as lender of last resort, as it can’t afford to cover them.
If (God forbid) we became independent, every single one of them would have to move to London and register as English companies. Scotland would lose all their corporation tax.
Scotland has no currency, no cash reserves, and the highest deficit in the EU, at 8%.
Without the Barnett formula and bailout by England, Scotland couldn’t afford its own pension, benefits, and NHS bill.
Don’t move here unless you’re certain an Indyref 2 will never happen or will be defeated.
At present, the SNP have dropped 5% of total vote share - they’re on 45% and all the pro union parties combined are on 55%, but there are no guarantees.
I’ve moved all my investments out of Scotland, and am prepared to move out myself if the worst happens. And I say that with a heavy heart after serving 36 years in the Scottish NHS and raising two DC here. But I remember an SNP supporter spitting in my colleague’s face and snarling “Bloody English” at him, in the street in broad daylight, after hearing him chatting in a cockney accent, during the last Indyref. And a 7 year old boy attacked by an adult Scotsman for daring to wear an England shirt during the World Cup.
You will no doubt be aware that unlike the English, who automatically support Scottish sports teams as a home nation if they’re playing foreign teams, the Scots will support “anyone but England”.
There is a lot of almost subconscious anti English racism up here, and they carry grudges forever. They still bang on about Bannockburn after seven centuries, despite Robert the Bruce being a Norman fighting another Norman for the right to oppress the Scottish peasantry as a feudal overlord.

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iismum · 13/12/2019 10:47

As in English person who’s lived in Edinburgh for many years, I’ve hardly ever seen anti-English sentiment. I know that it exits in places but in my opinion of Scottish friends in England, the anti-Scottish sentiment in England is worse. I was heavily involved in the last Indy ref (on the yes side!) as were many other English people. The SNP have really pushed the idea that if you make your home in Scotland then you’re Scottish no matter where you came from and whilst of course there are a lot of people who don’t believe this, this creates a very different attitude to rUK. If you go to one of the poorer parts of Glasgow or somewhere else with very static communities this might be an issue but otherwise I think you’ll have minimal problems.

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IM0GEN · 13/12/2019 10:50

That’s odd, because I’ve lived in Scotland for more than 50 years and I’ve never heard anyone mention bannockburn in that way. Or ever heard of or seen anyone attacked for being English.

I’m not saying that anyone who claims this is lying . But it must be extremely rare as it has never happened to anyone I know, any of my friends, neighbours, colleagues , family members or clients.

As a Pp said, there’s a lot of anger towards English politicians and Westminster, that not the same as hating individual English people.

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alliwantisagoodnightssleep · 13/12/2019 10:53

Exactly what @Babdoc says. We moved to Scotland shortly after the 2014 referendum. All the SNP and their supporters have done is talk about a second referendum. We have already agreed that should Scotland vote for independence we would move back south of the border. We both have Scottish parents.

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SilverySurfer · 13/12/2019 11:01

Why would you be unreasonable and why are you asking strangers on a forum? Surely it's for you and your DH to decide.

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SaorsaSolasta · 13/12/2019 11:08

I've lived in Scotland for nearly ten years and have never experienced any anti-English behaviour towards me, my family or any of my English friends. Yes there can be an anti-English attitude around sports and politics, but I have never seen it targeted towards individuals.

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Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 13/12/2019 11:17

Kettle’s on, in you come Smile🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I have English, Polish & French friends living here - none of them have ever said they were made to feel unwelcome.

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Sortofbutnotreally · 13/12/2019 11:25

Just have a search through Facebook and social media for English (and others) thinking about moving to Scotland (easy to find - there are plenty). The one thing they all have in common is the messages of support and encouragement they receive. But maybe a tweet from the group English Scots 4 Yes is a good pointer;

@EnglishScot4YES
If the #GE2019 #exitpoll is accurate our hearts go out to progressives across England. Please consider moving to Scotland. A warm welcome awaits you here in a modern, forward-thinking European social democratic soon-to-be independent country

Scots have no issue with the English - our issue is the archaic union we are "equal" partners in.

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TheGoldenNotebook · 13/12/2019 11:26

Echoing what many have said. For most reasonable people in Scotland a vote for SNP is a vote to remove ourselves from a political system that has and will never have our best interests at heart and will never truly reflect our political stance. We are a socialist leaning, pro Europe country and yet we will always be ruled by a right wing, anti Europe government because English people vote that way. We are not nationalists in a xenophobic way. It would be naive to suggest that in a country of millions of people there will be no racists or bigots but for the most part Scotland is tolerant. Certainly more so than England in recent years.

Please do come home. There will be some political turmoil here for the next few years but no more so than the rest of the UK, except hopefully we will come through it with more hope than the roUK.

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thiscouldbethehill · 13/12/2019 11:35

Thank you for the kind, thoughtful and honest replies, I am finding them really interesting reading. I know I am biased but I love my home country, and where I grew up is such a fab place with so much to offer, I would love to be able to give my children the chance to grow up there.

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AlrightyyThen · 13/12/2019 11:36

Would it be unreasonable to move to Scotland with no connections there or would it be accepted the same?

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