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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to move home to Scotland?

86 replies

thiscouldbethehill · 13/12/2019 09:48

I’m Scottish, my DH is English and we have two young Welsh DC. We are currently in a position to think about moving and I really want to move home but my DH is worried about how it will be in Scotland over the next few years. We met at Uni in Scotland so he has lived there before and he loves the country but is worried about bad feeling towards the English now that Scotland will be ramping up towards another referendum.

Politically we are left wing and are gutted by the result today. It has certainly made me even more likely to want to move.
My hometown where I would like to move back to is near a big city and has a pretty mixed population so I don’t think it would be much of a problem. What do you think?

Thanks

OP posts:
ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 13/12/2019 11:52

Would it be unreasonable to move to Scotland with no connections there or would it be accepted the same?

Kettle's on, come on up.

ChristmasSweet · 13/12/2019 11:53

Despite what people say on here, your husband will be a target from the Scottish. They can say all they want they've never seen it, but I have and so have many other English families. Hell I was born in scotland and having English parents makes me a target.

Plus if they get the vote and get independence, you may regret being here once they are bankrupt.

ChristmasSweet · 13/12/2019 11:56

Actually in my experience, the English are no better than the Scots. I've had both sides tell me I'm half OK, by either being born in their country or being related to their people. Nice to be told you're half OK. Hmm

Hence why I'm not very patriotic or proud to be british/scottish/whatever. It means nothing to me because of who talks like that to me.

DumbFlagScum · 13/12/2019 12:00

You will forever be an outsider but your kids will prob be OK if they sound Welsh enough 🙄

My husband and I would never move home because of our kids massively English accents.

If you're not English you probably don't even notice it.

Cannyhandleit · 13/12/2019 12:12

Wow I think some of you have been very unlucky with your experience! My English partner thinks moving here was the best thing we could have done for him and our English children.....
yes there are some arseholes about but they are most definitely few and far between!
Come home, you and your family will be very welcome!

Owlypants · 13/12/2019 12:13

Scotland is no worse than anywhere else, everywhere has it's minority of idiots. Don't let the minority put you off moving home

alliwantisagoodnightssleep · 13/12/2019 12:16

Well Sturgeon has just stated that Indy Ref2 is going to happen whether Boris wants it or not so here we go again.

YouRemindMeOfTheBabelfish · 13/12/2019 12:16

I lived deep in Wales for a long time and was warned about going there because I'm a well spoken English person. I only had a problem with one person. I was integrated very well. However, I've met people who were there so much longer who were never accepted.

Each of those people was an absolute cunt so it doesn't surprise me. I was happy to be there and immersed myself. Some people just don't mix as well. And you will get the odd pocket of Bastards who want to pick at you for being English. Same as happens to foreigners in England. There's no need for it anywhere.

I was going to say to on, move. I voted yanbu. But someone has mentioned the bank and corporation tax and now it's put me on the fence because I don't know enough about that to make an educated choice. Thankfully, I don't have to make it but hopefully you can look into it all and make an informed, educated choice OP.

PenCreed · 13/12/2019 12:18

I certainly want to go home now, and I live in London with an English husband. If only we didn’t both have specialist jobs that don’t come up often anywhere, it’s not going to be easy even if I persuade him into it.

scunner · 13/12/2019 12:23

Go home to Scotland. Thriving arts culture, beautiful scenery, lovely people who are proud of their heritage.
I had to move to England because of husband’s job. Very surprised with the class divide here. Something I was never aware of in Scotland.

lancaster · 13/12/2019 12:35

I have lived in Glasgow for 22 years and never experienced any anti-English feeling. Will be voting yes in a second referendum.

BabyComeBacks · 13/12/2019 12:42

I feel gutted by todays result too.
We are cobtinental European so having someone like BJ elected just makes me feel unwelcome.
It would be different if it was Theresa May or Hammond. Its just him and what he represents. He wrote some pretty unsavoury stuff as a journalist praising colonialism. I cannot bear it. Not that Corbyn is better. But the Lib Dems might be.
But our lives are here. Our children are settled. Our neighbours, family and friends love us.
Give yourself 3 months for the dust ro settle.

JoJothesquirrel · 13/12/2019 12:48

DH is English and London to boot, no mistaking the accent. He’s perfectly happy here and hasn’t felt any anti English feeling. Mainly cause it’s not exactly unusual to English in Scotland! That’s what mystifies me about these threads. I’d have to stop and think about how many English (and Irish) people I know. And then do I count their kids and 1/2?

It comes up in conversation for sure, and you do get arseholes behaving like arseholes but that’s no really a Scottish thing.

recklessruby · 13/12/2019 13:04

OP I would move home if I could. Working in England and love most of the people but miss my home country and my beautiful hometown.
Ds and dd born here and ds is now 31 and would love to move back.
He could transfer within work but I have worked my way up to a good position in teaching.
The catalyst will be when dd 25 moves out, she s the only one settled in an LTR.
The election results have been a real kick in the teeth for us.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 13/12/2019 13:18

As an English person who has lived in Scotland for the last 20 years, I am delighted to have finally moved away. Don't get me wrong, the country and most of the people are amazing. However, as an English person i was ALWAYS going to be an outsider and the anti-English sentiment in what is a culturally diverse area of Scotland was growing. Even with friends, it made politics, sporting events all really difficult - especially when what was said was referred to as 'banter' instead of xenophobia. Please think very carefully for the sake of your husband and your children.

I'm also mostly English and I've never had an issue. In my first job post University I told Dundonians they weren't getting their giros and that the nice men from CID were here to talk to them on a regular basis. Not one single person ever commented on my Englishness despite a cut glass accent.

Dh is who half Scottish/half NIrish gets regular abuse in England however.

Mishfit0819 · 13/12/2019 13:29

@Babdoc I highly doubt that you live in Scotland.

OP the independence movement is very much one of inclusivity. Maybe come up for a visit and let him experience how it is?

marvellousnightforamooncup · 13/12/2019 13:30

I'm English in Scotland and have never had anyone even mention it.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 13/12/2019 13:30

Hi OP. I'm English.
I live in a "rough" estate in Glasgow. I work for an SNP polititian and am active in the nationalist movement, the wider left and in community politics (Tenants Association).
I've experienced anti English sentiment exactly twice in 8 years here.
Once from an old lady having a bit of a grumble about my kids attending a Gaelic school.
The other time when telephone canvassing for the SNP. I think that person was also SNP and just assumed from my accent that I wasn't!
Its really not a thing in my experience.
We were in a similar position 8 years ago and I'm so glad I let Scottish DH persuade me. Housing is cheaper, school provision is less of a stress, NHS not in (as much) crisis. I think you should go for it!

Calyx72 · 13/12/2019 13:31

Scottish person here hoping we get lots and lots of new Scots coming to live and work here. All welcome.

I am for independence and feel our politics are very different from England and Wales. My cousin was on Facebook saying he voted Conservative and my response was 'at least you voted!' I don't feel the need to fall out with him and others for the way they vote. It's the Westminster government and the 'British' media I have dislike for not English or Welsh or N. Irish people who tend to be lovely.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 13/12/2019 13:40

I only had a problem with one person. I was integrated very well. However, I've met people who were there so much longer who were never accepted.
Each of those people was an absolute cunt so it doesn't surprise me

This is also my observation Babelfish Grin

Alaimo · 13/12/2019 13:52

My DH is English, voted SNP. As far as I'm aware he's never experienced any anti-English sentiments. Like @JoJothesquirrel said, probably half the people I know in Scotland are English, although that does reflect regional and possibly socio-economic variations (most English people I know moved her for university and stayed).

AlwaysCheddar · 13/12/2019 13:54

You live in England, not the planet Mumsnet so yabu.

Purplecatshopaholic · 13/12/2019 14:09

Come on back to Scotland op. You and your family will be very welcome

Original poster
thiscouldbethehill · 13/12/2019 14:13

@AlwaysCheddar I have no idea what you mean? Also, I live in Wales.

OP posts:
Invisimamma · 13/12/2019 14:30

I live in Scotland in an area with lots of English people flocking to the area. No anti English sentiment that I have picked up on. However there is a lot of anti-scottish comments branded about by English people who have moved here:

'in England they do it this way'
'oh they're just jocks'
'the school system in England is far better because...'
'you wouldn't have this down south'
Comments on my kids accents.
Refusing to learn Burns poems because they don't understand them.
Referring to fellow school mum's as the 'scary Scottish one'
Many many derogatory comments about Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP.

I also find cheering for England in sporting events is also slightly antagonistic.

Sometimes I feel unwelcome in my own community. But if you're not going to do any of the nonsense I've mentioned above then I think you will be very welcome!