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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Newborn and GPS with colds

75 replies

Duggeeismysaviour · 13/12/2019 07:08

Second baby is 2 weeks old.

In laws coming to stay next week for a week (they haven't met dc2 yet)

One or both of them is almost guaranteed to have a stinking cold when here, its a bit of a running joke. They are sickliest people around.

Now here is where I lost my perspective. How do I handle them holding dc2 if this is the case? I get that children get colds, and this is by no means my pfb. But so tiny... Would be really rough.

I honestly don't know whether it would be reasonable to ask whoever is going to be sneezing all over the place not to cuddle her. Seems a bit mean spirited, and of course we will ask be in the same house anyway. But I'm already a bit agitated at what I'm sure is going to happen.

AIBU in advance?!

OP posts:
TowelStripes · 13/12/2019 07:18

Are you breastfeeding?

Howlovely · 13/12/2019 07:23

Surely they wouldnt want to pass anything on to the baby so won't come if they are ill?

Mrsducky88 · 13/12/2019 07:23

Honestly I would ask them not to come if one of them has a stinking cold. It’s not fair on you or the baby. They can wait another week til they are not ill. Of course babies get ill but I think it will be too tough to say no holding/touching etc for a whole week, plus you may still get ill and newborn with poorly mum Is not fun.

SundayMorningSun · 13/12/2019 07:25

Yes, it would be very tough having such a small baby with a cold. We had a close relative who was desperate toeet the baby but got a cold and (very selflessly) didn't come (his suggestion, not ours). It's tough, but I think people usually understand?

Note that you can't give Calpol under 2 months, so anything you can do to avoid colds before then is important.

NoSauce · 13/12/2019 07:25

Would they actually want to hold the baby if they’re full of a cold?

They might not even have one.

user1480880826 · 13/12/2019 07:25

I don’t see how breastfeeding has anything to do with it. There are 800 cold viruses and breastfed babies are not magically immune to them all. Mine managed to get her fair share of colds.

If I’m ill I avoid new born babies. I certainly wouldn’t be asking to hold one. Hopefully your in-laws would feel the same way?

However, realistically you can’t keep your baby away from infection. Even if your in-laws appear well they could still be ill but not exhibiting symptoms yet.

HatingTheBigShow · 13/12/2019 07:33

If you're sick or a smoker, you don't get to cuddle my baby and tough shit if that offends. Insist that they must not come if they have a cold - and your husband should send them packing if they ignore you.

Salvationiseasy · 13/12/2019 07:52

My 3 month old baby just got out of the hospital following a nasty RSV bug that made her stop feeding, and then she wasn’t able to breathe well, I was way too lax before, now I tell everyone not to touch her if they haven’t washed their hands. It’s not worth it, they’re so little and get so unwell, and there were at least 10 other babies in with the same thing, there are some really nasty bugs going around this year. I don’t think you’d be unreasonable to keep her in the wrap and not let people touch her until flu season is over tbh.

lowlandLucky · 13/12/2019 07:56

My Baby caught chicken pox from his older sibling when he was 10 days old, what was i supposed to do, banish my older child from the house ?

flippinehh · 13/12/2019 08:07

I would ask them not to come. My dd caught a cold from DS at a week old. Not much I could do about that but bloody hell it was stressful. I spend many a night at 3am in the bathroom with the shower running, struggling to get her to feed. Not fun.

flippinehh · 13/12/2019 08:08

She was breast fed too btw

Booboostwo · 13/12/2019 08:16

If either of them is sick they just should not come. I would not even discuss this.

lowandLucky the OP does not live with the GPS, they are visiting so they can just stay in their own home until they are well. Hardly a comparison is it?

elliejjtiny · 13/12/2019 08:33

You don't go near a newborn when you have a cold. My dc4 got a cold aged 3 weeks and was seriously ill in hospital. My dc4 got the flu when he was 8 months old and he ended up in hospital too

TORDEVAN · 13/12/2019 09:06

I would be telling them not to come for the sake of my newborn

Blondebakingmumma · 13/12/2019 09:09

If they have a cold they would not be welcome to stay with me and my newborn. Only let them come when they are well

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 13/12/2019 09:15

My 2 week old has just had a cold.
Only in a newborn it is bronchiolitis, and i have spent 9 of her 15 days in hospital getting oxygen and tube feeding. Hopfully going home today after wonderful care, but i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Pinkflipflop85 · 13/12/2019 09:16

My son picked up a nasty cold recently. Judging by some responses on here I should have stuck him in the shed for a week to protect my newborn...Hmm

flippinehh · 13/12/2019 13:23

Well as that's not possible, you have to just get on with it when you live together Pink but as there's a choice with visitors and given it colds can lead to a hospital admission in newborns why would you risk it?

Rachelle1980 · 13/12/2019 13:26

Why are they coming if they have a cold? It's just not appropriate.

You need to warn them, how on earth have you got to the stage where you're not automatically pushing back on this?!
And who thinks it's ok to visit a 14 day old baby with a cold?!

NoSauce · 13/12/2019 13:31

The OP doesn’t even know if they do have a cold!

newbingepisodes · 13/12/2019 13:32

My first born was in ITU with Group B strep for 3 weeks after he was born. The hospital made it very clear he needed to be kept away from any infections and even gave us leaflets to give to people who "made a fuss". While he was in hospital no one was allowed to visit him except me and DH. On coming home we were told he needed time to get over the sepsis and people needed to prevent infection around him. My sis nagged and nagged to see him, and she's a nurse! But kicked up a stink about washing her hands etc, a few other people did the same. Despite the hospital leaflets, they thought we were being "precious". Then low and behold some twat came along with a "cold", they never told us they'd had it, DS ended up with RSV and re admitted! I've never forgiven them! People are twats and for some reason think they have some sort of "right" to babies that aren't theirs!

BertrandRussell · 13/12/2019 13:36

But they haven’t actually got colds......

TowelStripes · 13/12/2019 13:39

I wasn't saying breastfed babies are magically immune
But it will help.

Sh05 · 13/12/2019 13:52

Correct me if I am wrong but I thought the immunity for bf babies was just with the mother so if mum has cold, for example, then baby will get immunity, not from others just because they're bf.
I would mention it to them that if they're not well then it would be best to rearrange the visit. My youngest sister had the flu when dd3 was born three months ago, we did lots of video calls but she didn't pop down until she was well clear of it.

BertrandRussell · 13/12/2019 13:54

But you can’t tell people they can’t visit because they might have a cold! Well, obviously you can, but you’d be being pretty unreasonable.