to have told my friend to fuck off?

[BanKittenHeels]

I have a new friend, we get on really well and have a lot in common. I work with her but see her a fair bit out of work, it is important for our jobs that we have a good relationship.

Recently with the election she has become obsessive about her party of choice. We happen to have the same political views but I choose not to shout about them on social media.

Said friend has been on social media in the last week saying that anyone who doesn’t vote for her party of choice is “an oppressor”.

Today anyone who votes and doesn’t mention who they are voting for is getting drilled by her.
I rarely post on social media but today I put up a #dogsatpollingstations post, because the world deserves to see more of my dog (and my DC are excited about the election process). I then got a message saying that I needed to outright say who I voted for, that “silence is not an option” and in not sharing my vote I am a “closet Tory” and “siding with the oppression”.

AIBU to have told her to fuck off?
She is now ranting on Instagram about people “voting blue but demanding silence”.
This woman is 38, a professional and intelligent woman who for the rest of the year I have known her has barely been politically active and has been very pleasant to spend time with.

What happened to it being bad manners to ask who someone votes for?

Also the 1901 Labour party was a wide spectrum of left. Always has been and it swings. Sadly we need moderates. As much as I dislike the ideas of Blair and Gaitskell, I can't advocate chucking them out.

That's ridiculous. It's all wel and good to speak openly but voting is allowed to be private and it's rude to ask. No one should be pressured into changing or disclosing their vote, it endangers the process.

What a weirdo! YANBU at all

Surely this is bullying behaviour and she should be reported to HR?

I certainly wouldn't remain friendship outside work with such a wankbadger - irrespective of her politics, she is a nasty piece of work.

She sounds like those fuckers in North Korea who watch the crowds to make sure they weep hysterically for rapture when their Glorious Leader presents himself before them, or else they and their families are rounded up for "correction".

I never tell anyone who I've voted for. Not even DH. He can probably guess from my many and varied rants, but ultimately it's no-one's business but my own.

YANBU. I'm all for sharing posts on social media supporting a particular party and encouraging people to vote but there's no reason to be nasty about it. Your friend sounds bonkers!

She sounds a bit bonkers really. Definitely distance yourself from her.

But a bit sad that you lied in the exit poll. Not helpful for the millions desperately going by it to gauge the results. Why not just decline to answer at all?

I've had people like that in various shades of politics through the years. Some have been utter cunts (BNP voters - can't imagine what they're voting now, but I'll bet it's not anything I would ever vote for), some have been relatively pleasant people but either, in my view, totally misguided or have lived their lives in a complete bubble.

Any that have attempted to extract my voting choices from me have been told that it's a secret ballot. They can assume whatever they like, but until we become a totalitarian state, I am keeping my voting decisions private as is my absolute right to do so.

Ugh she sounds like she’s drunk the Kool Aid, if she can’t see why some people wouldn’t like the current Labour Party then she’s a fool. Ignore and move on.

Where I work it's misconduct to carry on like this on social media in the run-up to an election, even on a non-work account. Your friend could find herself in hot water over her social media communications.

I to have had similar didn't challenge or disagree at all just said how are they going fund it and got SCREAMED at.

I personally would never vote tory (labour party member). However, your friend is being a massive twat. Tell her, from a labour party member, to fuck off - with friends like that, the labour party doesn't need enemies.

I found her constant screen shotting people (who has posted that they had been to vote but not disclosed who they had voted for) and then scrawling “secret Tory??” across it so upsetting. It actually turned my stomach.

That's insane and would lead me to unfriend her. After I'd publicly reminded her that everyone is entitled to a private vote in this country, that it's not for her to decide why anyone chooses to use that right, and that her accusations amount to bullying.

I too have had similar - didn't challenge or disagree at all, just asked how are they going fund it and got SCREAMED at.

Thou shalt not question the Dear Leader.

In Russia, they had Gulags for people who did this.

Nearly everyone I know that criticises Tory are pretty thick on most Political issues I’ve found.

They bleat about injustice and the poor but fail to realise anything about how real economies work and how a state is run.
I also believe they think they are somehow morally superior.
I just take it that they are Politically dim but that shouldn’t effect friendship. Try to inform them why they are wrong if you can.

I've found the sanctimonious, judgemental tone of many Labour supporters (including friends and family) really awful recently. The vitriol directed at anyone who doesn't agree with them is unbelievable. Anyone even suspected of being remotely right of centre is considered evil and 'vile' . How I vote is my business and its perfectly possible to have friends from all political viewpoints...although I'd draw the line at anyone who supports Nigel Farage!

Try to inform them why they are wrong if you can.

This sort of cuntery is exactly why I don't tell anybody how I vote.

YANBU. Ignore her message. Seems a right weirdo.

Why on earth anyone would be attracted to the politics of a man like Corbyn just astonishes me. It's as if the utter failure of the Eastern Bloc never happend.

Why on earth anyone would be ignorant enough to compare the labour party policies to those of the old Eastern Bloc, I have no idea.

Nearly everyone I know that criticises Tory are pretty thick on most Political issues I’ve found.

Nearly everyone who espouses Conservative values is out of touch with reality, I've found. That you can look at the state of your country, after ten years of rule by these people, and say 'good, let's have more of this, then', led by a lying sack of shit like Johnson, just exceeds my capacity to believe.

I had a friend like this. Was an absolute nightmare on SM during the last election.
Like you, I actually voted the same way as her but found her online ranting embarassing. She described people who voted differently as "massive cunts" and other delightful names. I didn't actually tell her to fuck off although was tempted. Instead I unfollowed her on SM and distanced myself in real life. In the end she actually unfriended me (no loss) but I've occassionally seen her comments on friends' posts and nothing has changed it seems! Personally, I steer clear of talking politics on SM these days, it never ends well I find!

Yikes, unfortunately this election had brought out the worst in some labour supporters.

YANBU. I usually have an SM 'holiday' during elections for this very reason. It is a secret ballot for a reason, you don't have to tell anyone how you vote - I don't.

One of my facegroup friends has said she doesn't want to be friends with anyone who doesn't support her political party and that they should defriend her 😲

I wouldn’t have told her to fuck off. It’s a very rude response to her very rude behavior.

A message along the lines of:

‘ You don’t dictate what I post on my social media and you’re overstepping boundaries right now. Not only my personal ones but also the boundary of appropriate behavior as political views and therefor votes of others are their personal matter and you should at least respect that.

I don’t want our friendship to be affected by this matter so please don’t try to involve me in your political activism anymore.’

would have delivered the message loud and clear without jeopardizing a relationship that is also work.

No one needs to know anyone else's voting preference.

Though interestingly MPs can't vote in secret. I wonder if things would be different if they could.