Pocket dial voicemail, what can you hear? (Audio included)

[AravisQueenOfArchenland]

What are your first thoughts, as to what's happening, in this accidental call/voicemail?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints they'd not be buying a present for me, so no need to fib.

He’s in a rocking chair having a sneaky wank and at 3:46 you can hear him moan and whisper ‘MOTHER!’

I deleted it, if I hadn't started the thread by accident, I probably wouldn't have bothered posting, given how long it took to download, going by the comments, I've got my answer already.

Another aibu, aibu to think my internet is actually really slow, and not the top speeds I'm paying for? Over half an hour, for a 4 minute, 700mb file?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints

Ah, that's ok then. I share my biscuit preferences with you. Dunking - plain digestives. Non dunking - dark choc ones straight from the fridge .

Definitely sounds like someone walking not sitting, OP.

I feel like I have to apologise that this was so boring, what were some you imagining?

*of

I did think it'd be someone doing something they shouldn't but thought it'd be a bit more clear and obvious!

I’m out of ideas then.

Have you done a speed check? on the internet not the walking/wanking speed

Why remove it? Ffs.

@AravisQueenOfArchenland It only takes the tiniest movement to make noises like that. It seems pretty rhythmic and at a walking pace so I would put money on the person walking around, possibly indoors rather than outside as there is no background noise. However, if the phone was in bed with them, even something as light as movement from sheets while breathing/moving/onanism could make that noise.

Have you done a speed check? on the internet not the walking/wanking speed