Tree decorations

[staceyflack]

AIBU to be upset that my partner decided to take a long phone call and a shower whilst me and the kids decorated the tree. I know it's sentimental, but don't most families do it together?

Not really no.

I did mine all alone,

Some people just aren't bothered by it. Your kids would have had a great time doing it either way whether he was helping or not. That's all that matters

No I’m glad to get it done tbh. I did ours when why were at school so it didn’t have to be redone, they are all autistics though, arguments can be immense. They have all added the baubles they’ve bought this year.

Dp and dd1 usually go choose the tree. I used to do it with both dcs, but really it's mostly with dd1.

I do ours. When I lived at home my DF did them. Actually, I don't know anyone who does them as a family.

My father never joined in, he just sat in his chair and criticised how we decorated the tree!

My exh never decorated anything including the tree. The temper tantrum that would accompany him trying wasn't worth it in the end.

My 21 year old is moaning because the tree is still in the loft but when I suggest he gets it out and puts it up himself he recoils in horror. 🤷🏻‍♀️. Some people want the Xmas atmosphere but don't want to put the work in.

Only in the movies!

There's so much pressure for every bit of Christmas to be perfect. It really doesn't matter if some family members miss parts of it. Dh gets it all down from the loft and usually gets distracted by football or gardening, I set it all up and dds will wander in and put a few bits on before getting bored and wandering off.

"ohprettybaby'... really? You don't know anyone who does it as a family? I must've watched too many soppy films 🤔

Yes most families do it together.....on a crappy american made for tv film, whilst drinking egg nog and singing christmas carols.

Back in the real world......YABU to be upset.

Nah. When my kids were little I used to get DH to take them out so I could decorate in peace.

As they got a little bit older, I'd give them a few baubles and then rearrange them while they slept

Nope. I do it all by myself and am glad to!

I pick out the decorations and do the whole lounge on my own. I'm very particular about ornament placement/how things look and frankly DH would just get in the way. I'm glad he has no interest/desire in hanging baubles!

We do it together. I think it depends whether it was something planned, that the DC we're looking forward to, or whether you just started decorating and assumed he'd know you expected him to be involved.

Depends who is home at the time. This year it was dd1, ds and a visiting niece. Dd2 was away and dh hates doing it

We do it together - meaning me and the DC. I usually get DH cooking dinner or he makes himself look busy with work, while we do it.

I think as long as the children feel involved then it doesn’t matter does it?

No. I left my dd to it. Did a bit of straightening out afterwards.
Team effort. Dh did his bit. I did mine. Dd did hers.

As they got a little bit older, I'd give them a few baubles and then rearrange them while they slept

Me too :)

Oh no I do mine myself. Wouldn’t want the small people touching it and DH wouldn’t be any help either. He’s happy to leave me to it. We never did it as a family growing up. My mum always did it herself, even when we were teens.

I had a very unhappy childhood, and I think my values are pretty much based on families in the movies, as I didn't want my blueprint for my kids. No pressure! I was so sure I was right - but apparently not. To be fair, he has gone a bit loco at me since I voiced my disappointment and I've told him I'm more upset now by his response to me being upset! Not at all understanding of my emotions. Unreasonable or not, they're still there.

It's just DH and me here. I do the tree when he's out, as otherwise we'd end up rowing, because I have better taste than he has and I'm very set in my ways

We have a big real tree so I need DH to help get it in place, he then helps with the lights but then let’s me and the dc get on with putting baubles on. He is around though and I do think of it as a nice family thing that we do together.

To be fair, he has gone a bit loco at me since I voiced my disappointment and I've told him I'm more upset now by his response to me being upset! Not at all understanding of my emotions. Unreasonable or not, they're still there.

How exactly did you voice your disappointment though?

We have set jobs when it comes to decorating for Christmas between DH and I.

He puts the tree up and puts the lights on
I decorate the tree
He puts the garland up the bannister
I faff about with it to make it look pretty
He puts the 2 simple trees up in the conservatory
I put the branches right
He puts the outside lights up
I put the garland and other little bits out around the lounge & snug

We learnt quite quickly that trying to do things together didn't work out as well as they do in the movies

DD is due next week so as she gets older, her and DH can have their own tree in the snug and do whatever they want with it

I asked him if everything was alright... as I thought thought the call must be very important. And then I cried! Could've handled it better. I had a miscarriage around this time of year... a few years ago and I'm super sensitive, perhaps that's more the issue. It was before I met him, but we have been together 5 years, so he knows all about it.

My DH helps with the lights (he carries the bundle as I place on tree) and then I am left to do the rest myself. Which I love!

I put on Christmas tunes and have a glass of wine, my DH and DD then place the star on the top. My DD has absolutely no interest in helping decorate, she would rather play with her toys.