Tree decorations

[staceyflack]

AIBU to be upset that my partner decided to take a long phone call and a shower whilst me and the kids decorated the tree. I know it's sentimental, but don't most families do it together?

Me and the kids decorate the tree. DH came home early just as we were starting this year, it was bad but we are not divorcing

Looks like I have an apology to make.

Also explain why it meant so much to you.

We have a fake tree. Dh puts it together and puts the lights on. Then the DC decorate it. When they were small I 'fixed' it when they were in bed, but they can do it now and I am not fussy about it anyway. So it's a joint effort, but we don't do it together.

Agree, explain you're still grieving over your miscarriage and your relarionship break up, but do try to understand life is not like the movies. If you start thinking it should be then I'd give my head a wobble if I was you

I also don't know anyone who does the tree together. Occasionally my husband will be in the same room but normally trying ro watch telly and pretend it's not happening. Generally I prefer to do it myself as it's quicker and looks better.

Most families let the children do it on their own,unless they are decor & 'lifestyle' obsessed or want to Instagram their 'creation'. It's easy to get carried away & want a 'perfect' TV version of a fantasy family doing Xmas 'family' things. It's not really only about decorating the tree from the sound of it... more differing expectations of family time together?

My neighbours (who are a family with children) have the cleaning lady come for an extra afternoon to decorate their tree and their house.
Not everyone wants or enjoys the process of decorating. Some just like to see the finished product.

We have 2 Christmas 🎄 trees

The fake one Dh went and got from the depths of the garage for me, helped me assemble it, then helped with the lights. The rest of it me and the kids did while Dh went in search of a box of decorations which appear to have been lost in the house move. When he appeared empty handed, He then helped with the last few bits. This is the family tree decorated with all the bits and bobs the kids have made, it’s a bit haphazard but the kids love it.

The real one - he went out with the kids and picked it with them, then got it home. Then he took me and the kids to a garden centre and got me new decorations (as I was upset out the box we have lost) then he did the lights and left me too it...everyone knows the real tree is mummies you decorate

Most of the people I know it’s normally the mum and kids who do it, dads are not always involved.

My husband has never decorated the tree. My older daughter isn't interested either. My younger daughter loves it and I have promised not to do it without her. She's home this weekend, so we will enjoy doing it together while listening to carols.

Growing up, my whole family got involved. My dad did more than my mum.

With ex, he wasn't at all interested and my friend would come over and decorate with me and drink snowballs.

Now I live alone with DCs and this year I did it with eldest as the small one is a bit young still.

Maybe we are different to most then but we do all ours together as a family, Christmas tunes on, mulled wine and crack open the quality street. Lovely!

I always wait until the Monday to do ours. It's my day off, the kids are at school, DP at work. Its chaos if we all do it together and ends up in us all rowing. This year I thought DS and I could do it together on the Sunday. DP went to his mums, DD at her boyfriends. I abandoned it as soon as I brought the decs down and he was shoving them everywhere and emptying everything all over. I drove to B&Q and bought him his own little tree for the dining room. I let him do that on his own as
I did the lounge in peace.
I'm sure its only in films where families harmoniously decorate the tree with pensive smiles and carols. It always ends up in a bitch fit here so I'm going back to plan A on mondays next year.