To ask do you enjoy spending time with your inlaws

[ILikePandas15]

Almost Christmas so it's likely most of you have to spend some time with your inlaws. Do you enjoy this? I hate spending time with my inlaws, mostly my Mil and it actually ruins Christmas a bit for me especially since we are guilted into staying a few nights.
Also how often do you see your inlaws during the year and how much time do you spend with them at Christmas?

Some of them more so than others! And I'm sure they'd say the same of me.

As we're 12,000 miles away, it's not an issue though.

mbosnz lucky you

Yes, probably see MIL and BIL a few times a month. Extended in laws a few times a year.
They're not perfect but neither am I.
My MIL loves DS so much and is a great Granny. I can always rely on her to be there for him.
I'm also close to my own mum.

Christmas - we'll all spend Xmas eve together, dinner at my mums then church.
Christmas Day everyone at mine and MIL & BIL will stay overnight.

I love my MIL, she is really kind and a lot of fun. She’s exactly what I would have hoped to get in a MIL. DH’s grandma is still around too and I have loved that, having lost my own grandparents when I was in my teens it’s lovely to have her around still.

His aunt and cousins I could probably leave though ;)

Oh I absolutely love it, they’re lovely, kind, warm people and they love me. It’s easier to spend time with them than with my own family in a lot of ways.
We probably see them every week.

My in laws are also 12000 miles away! However I like them a lot and enjoy spending time with them.

1st set of in-laws, not particularly. Met exH when we were 18 and MIL didn't like it at all. FIL was okay. Extended family were okay.

2nd set of in-laws, yes. MIL since died but I still see SIL & family (DH died 2.5 years ago) and they have met my new partner.

Haven't got a 3rd set, have met parents and adult daughter of the bloke I'm seeing - but parents abroad and daughter on the other side of the country so haven't had much contact.

Yep, they are lovely. Their home is really welcoming and it's always really relaxed and nice. DC love it there too and spending time with them.

I love visiting my family too but DH's parents are more laid back and it's less stressful going to them than to mine.

Yes! My MIL is on her own and she is fab. I love her!
FIL is OK but he is a fool and we see less of him and OW.

FIL and his wife are NC with us. And we are NC with MIL which began at her instigation but it seems like she has had second thoughts recently but DH keen to continue as we are.

BUT with all the rest of DH's family, yes, I have always enjoyed spending time with them. It varies how often we see them and a few more distant rellies we probs only see a couple of times a year, if that. I always have a good time with them though. They've always been welcoming of me, kind, generous and funny.

MIL, BIL1 & his family, SIL & her family yes
FIL, his wife, BIL3 & his family in small doses
BIL2 not at all

I miss my MiL every day. She was a devoted grandmother and very supportive of us as a couple. I love spending time with her, as did the boys.

I loved spending time with my in laws. Fortunately even though I am divorced from their son I still have a relationship with them and SIL but I do miss the big family Christmas at their house.

Yes! I love my MIL & FIL to bits; genuinely two of the nicest, my genuine people I’ve ever had the fortune to meet. They do seem to drive DH a bit batty with their endless commentary about day to day life. I suppose I have the luxury of finding it endearing because i didn’t have to suffer it my entire life, just the last 15 years

Now if you asked DH this, he’d tell you that my mother is an insufferable git who over-stays her welcome (he isn’t wrong with that, it does my tree in!), and that my father & step mum are exclusionary as they like to put lots of #makingmemories and #familyisthebesttime posts on Facebook whilst “forgetting” to include us in said family time despite us literally living around the corner. Poor DH!

Due to a political blockade and lack of funds (DH's father lost his job, we struggled with job loss & a few different things) we are going on 3 years since we saw DH's parents on anything but Skype.

His mother is tiring, but she's a wonderful person. His father is a dick (to me, for variety of sexist old fashioned reasons) .

I can't wait to give them their present of a flight & hotel stay in a place we can meet. The DC's will love it. DMIL will be over the moon, and she deserves it. DFIL will be completely embarrassed. I will LOVE every minute.

I used to love mine until I had children. Then something changed.
They started to challenge and undermine me constantly. I got really tired of constantly feeling under attack and in defence mode the whole time.
I also started to feel a bit resentful about the obvious differences in the way they treated my children verses their other grandchildren.
I took up a hobby that was strategically planned around the time we usually saw them so DH had to take the kids instead.... our relationship has never been better!
Partly because I don’t have them in my face every week (yes we see them practically every weekend), it also because when I do see them now I think they are grateful I’ve made the effort.
Ironic really.

I loved my ex in laws I found breaking up with my ex extra hard as it meant I couldn’t see my MIL anymore.
My current partners parents I like well enough but they don’t feel like family

No.

Fortunately despite living five minutes up the road I see them for approximately two hours in total every year.

I really liked my old in laws though.

Yes I do. They are lovely.

My mil is the mother of two sons who is a strong believer in women’s work so it’s tricky.
She talks to me about recipes, clothes, peoples weight etc and i’m allergic to these topics.
It’s getting worse as she gets older and I’m trying to balance being tolerant without being a bad example to my kids!!

Wine helps

Yes I do and they’re lovely. Mind you they live on the next street so I wouldn’t have a choice anyway. 🤣

It depends on which in-law as to whether or not I like spending time with them. My MIL is lovely. My FIL can be a dick, he seems to have mellowed a bit recently. Or maybe it’s the last few times we’ve seen him MIL has been there too and she keeps him in check. Parents in law live in Europe so we don’t see them often, maybe a couple of times a year, speak every week though. BIL is a selfish prick but his gf and son are nice enough. As BIL is a selfish prick it’s usually us travelling to see him, which gets really old. He also never has time for us unless we’ve already told him we are busy - so then it’s our fault for never making time 🙄 We see him about once a year and that’s fine by me. DH’s grandma is still alive though and we see her about once or twice a year. She’s also really lovely and we’d see her more frequently if she was closer.

We live at least 1.5 hours from any family so we don’t see anyone that frequently, although we see my family more even though they’re further away. This time of the year we see everyone in a short space of time, along with visiting friends too. We’re both quite introverted so it takes a big toll on us at this time of year, so at times it can feel like too much even though it really isn’t.

Love my in-laws and am happy to spend time with them. The are fab grandparents, they don't really look after my boys on there own as they are older now, but love spending time with them.

Nope. They smoke, have a bitey dog and pretend that DSD doesn’t exist. Their only grandchild.
They make no effort with her so they’re not worth my effort.