I really need help and your opinions about this, am I being unreasonable of thinking of getting a divorce just 1 month after our wedding?
i will try to explain it shortly: I've just moved to an other country because of my husband (we are not the same nationality), I gave up my job in order to be toghether. We decided mutually that i would come to live with him because of the better ecnomic possibilities for both of us. I left behind friends and family, and a very sunny place to be toghether. I never questioned this decision as I knew that in the long run we would have a better life here. So i started to do everything in order to integrate myself better in this new placw, from January i will start language courses, to learn the local language, I joined the gym, the local library.... and I've been here less then two weeks now. What i am trying to say is that I am nt sitting at home in front of the telly, but I am going out, doing the shopping, cooking making order and rearranging the flat as my husband is not the best to keep things in order, to put it nicely....
My problem is this, since almost the first day that i arrived he has been pushing me to get a job... Don'tmisunderstand me, I intend to go back to work because staying at home makes me feel very depressed, but i haven't been able yet to close all my businesses in my country of origin... I still have to travel back and bring my stuff here ( I just arrived with one luggage), I have to translate most of my documents, I have to close my flat where I am still paying rent, etc. Not to mention that everybody says to me that if i don't speak the local language I won't be able to have a decent job, just manual work, and since I am university educated this doesn't seem like a good solution. You don't have to think that we are in extrem need of money, I have something saved up, and my husband is a dentist.... I don't evenknow how to say this, I am so sad, we just had a major arguement about this subject, I hoped that he would understand that i needed time to integrate and to finish things in my old country and start this intensive language course ( 3 times per week, 4 hours per day) before i will start to look for a job. We haven't even been to a honeymoon yet, I was asking him when he will want to go, because this is also something to know before i start to look for a job, but he is always very vague about it... in the meantime he is also pushing for us to have a baby, even though I told him i would prefer to wait for some month with it, until things settle down little bit and be less chaotic... I just feel like he wants everything now and on his own terms and doesn't care at all about my needs. Just like with the wedding; i wanted a small one, but we ended up having a big that I had to organise ....
So i just told him that i needed time until the end of Febuary, to finish wih everything (packing and transfering, with which by the way he is not helping at all) and also to start the language course in January ( i couldn't find one that starts sooner, obviously everybody is getting ready for Xmas now) so at least I will be able to write in my C:V that i am learning the language...
So my question is, am I unreasonable for saying tht i will start to look for a job after the end of Febuary? (and believe me, we are not starving, he is earning around 6-7000 euro per month).
So we just had a huge argument about it, where he gratiously agreed on 'giving me time', whereas I feel I shouldn't even ask for it... I got very angry and I told him I want a divorce, to which he replyed that ii's ok for him...
Just as a side note I have to tell, that I never asked anything from him, nor money, nor nothing, I paid for all my travelling (even when we wnt to visit his family) and the biggest present I got from him was a parfume....
Until now it was all ok for me, but this recent behaviour of him makes me very sad. I thought that marriage was about loving and sharing. I gave up everything for him and he can't accept that I need some time to get used of my new surroundings.... the lowest point was when I complained about the disorder he makes every time ( I have to pick up his clothes from the floor) and him saying that anyhow I live here and I am using HIS water... so what's the fuss about...
Any answer would be appreciated, I feel very sad and lonely...