dp phrases that give you the rage

[sassypants72]

Is it just me that gets the rage over phrases that partners always use in an argument??

When ever we have had an argument he always states that he's not arguing, he's stating facts (which is utter crap btw). It just makes me go arrrggggg and want to slap him (never have, and wouldn't) it just makes me feel that way.

Please tell me I'm not alone

"You're not listening to me."

I am, DH, and you're talking bollix!

‘What’s were you thinking for dinner?’ I don’t know love, I have been out of the house for 12 hours and you have been home for the last 4. Why don’t you think of what’s for fucking dinner 🤬

‘You said you needed help, what’s the problem?’ For context I had a mini meltdown about Christmas coming and I was struggling to keep all of the plates spinning and could he help me. His help was to start digging raised beds in the fucking garden and to organise the shed. How the fuck does that help me get ready for Christmas????

'Let me just...'. Means whatever I've asked him to do won't get done until I've asked him eleventy billion times.

@thistimelastweek oh I get that too. 'Watch out' - 'oh thanks I didn't see the 10 ton articulated lorry or the group of pedestrians right in front of my eyes!!!!!'

Opposite side. I always say 'At the end of the day' and DH replies 'it gets dark'..... takes the wind right of my sails when I was just about to let rip at him

"Did you have any luck with..." (insert something he really ought to be looking after himself, e.g. washing my shirts.

RAGE FACE.

@shas19 I had an ex do the mate thing. My lord did I explode at him, so patronising. Current DP is intelligent enough no to wave that flag

Not arguing, it's the endless 'watch outs ' and safety alerts.

Mine is always, always warning me when there's e.g. a car coming or a dog poo, as if I had never been outside the house before I met him. Imagine my joy when he stepped in dog shit the other week

@TellerTuesday4EVA

Ha that made me
Laugh! Reminds me of how when I am asking DP to guess how cheap
Something Was he guesses stupidly eg 1p and that takes the wind out of my sails too as obviously anything else won’t sound cheap!

We very rarely argue to be honest, but he is overly cautious about my safety and it drives me mental!
Sometimes it can be sweet but today alone I've had;

• Him grabbing my arm to stop me from walking across the road - AT A CROSSING, WITH A GREEN MAN
• 'Be careful love' when walking down the stairs holding the laundry basket

And

• 'Watch out, the floor is slippery' IVE JUST WATCHED YOU MOP THE FUCKING THING.

I love him to bits, but God you'd think I was made of glass or something.
He's not even that bad with the kids.

'I'm not arguing with you'

I'm not arguing with you, you fucking nob head I'm speaking to you but you've said your point now you're done and don't want to listen to what I have to say.

Oh fucking no, I say when I'm done. 🤬

Dh when I lose something.

“Where did you last have it”

If I fucking knew I’d have it!!
I see red .

'Calm Down' in a condescending voice. Now he's passed it on to my children. This phrase gives me the rage

He says in a monotone voice "It's neither here nor there".

Well if it's not here or there it must be in some random parallel universe then.

It should be fine, I should be able to etc. etc. when I ask him if he can collect the kids from school on a certain day. Can you or not? Should doesn't cut it. It's giving me rage just thinking about it!

Have we got my mum a Christmas present? Have we ordered all the food for Christmas? No. BUT I HAVE.

“Let me tell you”

Whenever I point out that someone we know, (friend X) has done or said something totally out of order he will say, "Oh that's just X!" Drives me mad! Just be judgemental for a change!

"Why have a dog and bark yourself?". Thinks it's a hilarious thing to say when I ask him to put his cup in the dishwasher/dirty pants in the laundry etc etc.

Hasn't said it for a while. I may be getting through to him.

@Slazengerbag - Oh Lord - I feel your pain. I have one of those husbands. I have for 3 months been gently requesting that he paint the kitchen ceiling so that I can paint the walls. This week, apparently, writing a quiz is more important.

‘Have you finished?’

NO!!! I’M JUST GETTING STARTED!!!!!

Oh God, I'm so glad other people have astonished 'you're making me sound like the bad guy here' DHs.

IF THE CAP FITS.

It’s not a competition, I’m just trying to have a discussion about how x, y, z makes me feel, don’t shout it’s not necessary.

All phrases he learnt from me but then uses back at me in a completely different way which gives me the rage because he knows it irritates me! As a for instance, telling me not to shout when really I’m speaking at my usual volume but with more emphasis

Yeah, the moment you have a different opinion and express it, you're 'raising your voice'. Interesting, isn't it? How unreasonable of us to express what we're thinking. Clearly the only acceptable volume for dissent is zero.

I think I might start saying, "No, I haven't raised my voice at all; you just heard something you didn't approve of, so you've started listening for a change.

When DH says ‘Look, it is what is’, I suppress the desire to scream like Sistine Chapel Woman.