Why do some pregnant women become so self absorbed?

[bobbypinseverywhere]

Genuinely curious, this is inspired by my own experiences (infertility) and also it seems a few others on here today have felt the same recently.

Why, when pregnant, are some women unable or unaware of being considerate of other people? eg endlessly talking about their pregnancy or kids to others who they know are either infertile or post miscarriage? I don’t mean the usual pleasantries eg I’ll always ask how’s baby, how are they sleeping, how’s nursery etc etc, but seemingly being unable to talk about anything else the whole time or be aware of the effect it may have on others.

It is pretty obvious that people post miscarriage for example are going to find it difficult to listen to someone’s pregnancy stories all evening. I do also think that conversation topics (regardless of the audience) should be varied - out of politeness, eg it’s rude to talk about your work all evening so why are babies any different?

I’m not talking about when people don’t know, as that can’t be helped, but when I think they should know better and be more thoughtful! It’s like some women become so self absorbed and don’t care about anything or anyone else - but then expect all the support in the world themselves? So AIBU?

@bobbypinseverywhere - here is where yo said it is all women:

" Interesting to the majority who say it’s usually just selfish women anyway - I don’t agree - like I said my friends were interesting funny brilliant all rounders who just turned into baby making robots!!*

when you get pregnant, and I really hope you do. I thi k you'll want to talk about your pregnancy

Fwiw, I don't think the OP is expecting women not to talk abut their pregnancy, I think she'd just like them to be mindful if they know it's a difficult subject for the person they're talking to.

In fairness asking questions about it could be seen as an indication you are ok to talk about it and they are going off your signals.

I know it must be tough but being pregnant, especially if you have lots of symptoms but even just knowing how scary and daunting it is, can really take over your life and it's hard not to talk about something when it's all that's on your mind. Particularly if the other person has given you no signals they don't want to talk about it.

@MerchantOfVenom I still don’t see where I said it was all women? You’ve misread my post. That was in response to ‘the majority of posters’ saying that self absorbed women before becoming pregnant or after are still self absorbed. I then said, that I disagreed because my friends where funny articulate all-rounders (as in a lot going for them) and then turned into baby bots. I was talking about my friendship group there - which I think is quite clear from the post? So here - have a right back and read it again

I echo PP: woman like this tend to be self absorbed anyway. My closest friend was, and is, currently going through IVF while I was pregnant. I rarely mentioned it and never did anything or said anything that could be construed as tactless. Even after he was born I would let her take the lead and only speak about it if she asked. Today she has bonded with him and were at the stage where we I feel I can talk about him freely. But I doubt any of that would had happened had I not been sensitive to her feelings

That was in response to ‘the majority of posters’ saying that self absorbed women before becoming pregnant or after are still self absorbed. I then said, that I disagreed because my friends where funny articulate all-rounders (as in a lot going for them) and then turned into baby bots.

Exactly.

So you're saying all women become self-absorbed once they become pregnant / mothers. Not just already self-absorbed women.

How are we supposed to argue the point, when you've already written off all mothers?

She hasn’t. In response to people saying that if people are self absorbed when they are pregnant it’s because they were self absorbed anyway, she said that none of her friends were self absorbed prior to becoming pregnant but turned into baby bots afterwards.. How is that writing off all mothers?

The OP makes a valid point whether popcorn is on the menu or not. To listen to some, one would think no one had ever been pregnant before. Anyway, people who yak mindlessly about their own small lives are dull, usually.

@MerchantOfVenom No....reread it again...I still really don’t understand where you got that from....

I’m saying that some people can become self absorbed in pregnancy that weren’t before ie my friends. That they used to talk about all sorts of interesting things and then just pregnancy and babies. I made no reference to all pregnant women at any point, and can’t see from your point specifically where you think I have

@SerenDippitty yes thank you!